Post # 1
I am Catholic and my fiance is Presbyterian. We are getting married in the Catholic Church via a Simple Ceremony and are having a Protestant, Presbyterian co-officiant.
I was wondering if any of you have any experience in incorporation Presbysterian traditions into a Catholic Simple Ceremony or are familiar with Presbyterian wedding tradtiions.
My fiance grew up in the Netherlands (he’s Dutch) and just moved to the States a couple of years ago and joined a Presbyterian Church because Presbyterianism was the closest Protestant tradition to the Dutch Reformed Church which he grew up in and actually isn’t familiar with Presbysterian wedding traditions himself.
Post # 3
As a follow up, we’ve met with the Priest from my church who is marrying us a couple of different times and will be meeting with both the Priest and the Presbyterian Reverend in a few days and just wanted to know how to prepare.
Post # 4
That’s so funny, my fiance is a Dutch Reformed Protestant. I had never even heard of it until I met him.
I don’t think the traditions are that much different. In fact his family is pretty religious and they seem to have no qualms about us being married by a Catholic priest in a Catholic ceremony. They haven’t mentioned anything they want to add or do.
We attend Catholic church together now and are raising the kids Catholic so this was the best way to go for us. He says his church was not much different except they have different rules about communion and stand up and sit at different times. And you don’t kneel as much in Protestant church.
Post # 5
@hotchildinthecity, is your fiance from the Netherlands as well? Are you learning Dutch?
My fiance liked the idea of having a Presbyterian co-officiant and since over half of my family isn’t Catholic, we figured that it would be nice to include a Protestant element to the ceremony.
I’ve been to several different Protestant wedding ceremonies and the ceremony/vows really didn’t seem all that different to me.
I attend the Saturday Vigil Mass at my church which fulfills the Sunday obligation so my fiance comes with me to that and then in the morning we go to services at his church.
We agreed that we will baptize our children Catholic and then raise them in the Church but introduce them to both traditions.
Did you do PreCana in New York? What did you think of it?
We did PreCana in October (this is my last weekend free until mid-February) and the first session I enjoyed but the second session, I didn’t particularly care for – not because of the subject matter (NFP) but the way the session was formatted.
Post # 6
I’m Catholic and I work at a Presbyterian church (PCUSA), so I’ve helped the pastor I work for put together wedding ceremonies a couple times. Basically it’s not that different from Catholic, but I’m sure every pastor does things a little differently, and different couples want the pastor to include different things. Here’s a basic run down of how things are done at the church I work for. I hope it helps.
Welcome and call to worship.
Question to Father (not done in Catholic ceremonies, but you prob. already know this)– Who brings this woman to be married to this man?
Questions of Intent & affirmation — Groom, do you? Bride, do you?
Parents– Parents stand up and promise to support the bride and groom in their marriage. (also not typical to Catholic ceremonies, but you prob. already know this too)
Congregation– stands up and promises to support the bride and groom in their marriage.
Worship Song or Hymn
Special reading of scripture or selected writings. (usually 2)
The exchange of vows
The exchange of rings
(optional) Unity Candle
Pronouncement. (You are now man and wife. What God has joined, let no man separate, etc.)
Post # 7
@NeliBee: No, haha. He’s from upstate New York like I am.
We’re going to do pre-cana soon and yes, we’ll be doing it in NYC.
Post # 8
@NeliBee – I don’t believe there are any said “traditions” within the Presbyterian faith. The only thing that I can think of is the use of a Unity Candle (as Catholics do not use this).
GL with your wedding…
Post # 9
I’ve seen the unity candle used in a Roman Catholic Church wedding.
Post # 10
The unity candle is not part of the Rite of Marriage in a Catholic wedding ceremony, either during a Nuptial Mass or outside of Mass. However, there’s nothing wrong with it, and in generally, the USCCB is neutral on the idea of a unity candle.
So it’s one of these things that’s not done unless you ask for it, but if you do ask for it, it will be done. That makes it not really Catholic but not really not-Catholic.
That is probably the most wishy-washy comment ever.