(Closed) Any CFBC Christian Bees Out There?!

posted 6 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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MissesAwesome:  I haven’t fully commited to making the decision to be CFBC…but I think I really want to. I’m almost 31 and I’m about 80% sure I don’t want children (the 20% wanting them is mainly for external reasons; making Fiance and parents happy, having family to lean on when I’m old, etc.) and I’m Christian. It’s a hard place to be…especially at church when everyone automatically assumes your plan is to have children as it is considered a “duty.” Fiance wants children but said he wouldn’t feel unfulfilled if he never has them. He understands my reasons for not wanting them as they are completely valid (money, time, no more freedom, the world sucks, etc.) I think people consider Christian CBFCers oxymoronic, which we are, so it’s something I have a hard time settling with as far as my relationship with God. Children are in fact a natural product of relations and if I’m honest with myself, birth control to me seems like a sin (as the way the Bible is written, i.e., spilling the seed and being turned to stone). I don’t know. 

Post # 3
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

Interesting. I didn’t know being married, forever childfree, and Christian could coexist unless there were health issues or something. Did you ever get pushback from others in your faith? I’m not judging; I’m just curious. 

Post # 4
625 posts
Busy bee

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MissesAwesome:  Hmm yea I identify with both of these labels (CFBC and Christian) but have never really considered them to be related to one another. I will say though that if DH and I feel that God asks us to care for someone’s child (adoption, fostering, temporarily helping family, whatever the case may be), that would supercede our own desires of staying childfree. Above all else, His will be done. Vasectomy or not, if He wants us to raise a child, then I guess we will be raising a kid. But until then, we are content being a great aunt/uncle and serving God in other (equally as important) ways.

Post # 6
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Backyard

I’m a progressive Christian. This hasn’t really been an issue in the denominations  I’ve been involved in.

Post # 10
743 posts
Busy bee

I’m Christian  (of an extremely liberal denomination) and also CFBC. I’ve never felt any conflict between those two things, but my decision is also based in part on my own disability/health issues. I know some conservative Christian groups  (the quiverfulls, for example) believe that Christians have an obligation to reproduce as much as possible and that many Catholics don’t believe in birth control but both of those ideas have always made me incredibly uncomfortable 

Post # 11
2864 posts
Sugar bee

I am not CFBC and have a couple of kids but…I have never been part of a church that saw having children as a ‘duty’.Β 

And the bed is undefiled between you and your husband, so if he wants to spill his seed all over you or whatever he wants to do, it’s your business as long as you both agree. God does not dictate anything about the bedroom between you and your husband except that you guys shouldnt forsake each other for too long sexually so I guess I never understood the perspective of one having to have kids or a bunch of em.

And that story about him spilling the seed on the ground has nothing to do with a man being intimate with his wife. It had to do with a man disobeying God because of going against what God had asked him to do and for that, God was displeased.

Post # 12
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Yep, DH and I are both CFCB and Christian. I grew up Baptist, he grew up Episcopal, and while his work schedule usually has him working on Sundays, we both prefer to go to Episcopal services. Our priest who did our premarital counseling never once made us feel like it was our duty to have children, but that if it were God’s will, that we set the example of Godly parents. I think it’s more the Catholic denomination that sees parenthood as almost a requirement of marriage (please correct me if I’m wrong). I want our marriage to be first and foremost about taking care of each other and serving each other (God first, us second of course). After all, if the spouses don’t take care of their relationship, then how can they fully devote themselves to their children and a healthy family dynamic? I also think it would be wrong of us to have a child if we didn’t feel fully committed to it. Just my two cents.

Oh, and Butterfly6 is totally on point with the story about the man spilling his seed. Had nothing to do with intimacy but rather obedience to God’s command. 

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