(Closed) Any changes to my invitation wording?

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds good!  I think I would change where you have some of the line breaks though, if possible.

 

My preference would be:

 

Because you have shared in our lives

By your friendship and love, we

(names)

 

It would also bug me to have the word “together” twice in a few lines… can you reword so you don’t repeat yourself?

Post # 4
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

definately fix the line breaks, it was awkward to read

Post # 5
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

  • Don’t think you should capitalize “The Fourteenth”
  • No “and” in “Two-thousand twelve”
  • Since you are spelling out the date, I’d change the time to:”half past four o’clock in the afternoon”
  • Fix where the lines are breaking and where you are capitalizing

 

 

Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think I would move over the “reception to follow” if you could. From this view, its a little close to the florish. I think the rest looks great. I can’t think of any other way to reword it, other than changing it, so you aren’t saying together more than once in a sentance. I’m wondering what it would look like if you added an extra line between “together with our families” and “invite you to share”.

Post # 9
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MissKK:  Looks good but you still need to lose the “AND” in 2012 (it should read “TWO THOUSAND TWELVE”)

I’d probably make the “RECEPTION TO FOLLOW” flush right, in a smaller font and/or in italics or something

Post # 11
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@MissKK:  if you want to get all grammatically correct about it too, “Kristal King & Anthony Johnson” is an appositive describing the pronoun we; hence, they have to be enclosed in commas.  but of course, there’s no need to be all formal and proper like that.  just saying 🙂

i also mentioned it in another thread that, to each their own, but i’m not a fan of spelled-out dates and times.  they are so hard to read.  when i look at an invitation, i want to be able to easily pinpoint the date and time.  “October 14, 2012 | 4:30 PM” works for me, but that’s just me.

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