(Closed) Any Bees agree with this parenting style?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
Post # 62
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it’s great that her kids seem so successful, but I can’t imagine how they feel about their mother.  When I think of my mother, even though we don’t always agree on everything, I feel like she is my biggest fan, always supportive, always loving, always accepting of me, and wants me to do my best but doesn’t put me down if I don’t.  I can’t imagine these girls feel the same way about their mother.  She sounds abusive and controlling.  It’s fantastic that her daughter played at Carnegie Hall, but is this really what she wants?  What if her mom hadn’t forced her to not be in plays–maybe she’d be a famous actress, who knows?  Maybe if her mom had let her have sleepovers, she’d be better socially adjusted and have a happier life.  Good grades and well-practiced musical pieces do not make someone happy or better than anyone else.

When I was 6, I had a piano audition for Peabody Conservatory.  They told my mom they wanted me, which meant my entire life (like, 5+ hours a day) would be dedicated to piano.  I loved playing piano and practiced on my own accord, but my mom chose for me not to do the program because she didn’t think it was up to her to decide the life of a young child.  Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she had chosen this life for me, but to be honest, I’m so glad I did what I wanted to do (I kept playing piano for 13 years and went on to compete statewide) and I got to make my own choices.

I have friends who are Asian (not just Chinese though) and their parents forced them to play piano/violin, get straight A’s, go to med school, etc and they ended up miserable, turning to drugs to escape, and eventually shutting down from life.  This style of parenting may produce straight A’s but it does not produce happy, well-adjusted people.

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