(Closed) Any COLLEGE Bee’s with a “GROWN-UP” Fiance like me :)?

posted 7 years ago in College
Post # 3
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m essentially going through the same thing, except we are just dating. He’s 27 and I am 22 going to college for my BBA. I worked my ass off for the last 1 1/2yrs with 60+ hour weeks to save for college and so when I met my boyfriend, we talked about me moving to where he lived and going to school and he would take care of me. So, I moved from Austin TX to about 2hrs from San Diego, CA along the border.. It sucks living here, but this is where his job is and it’s a great job for now until he moves on to bigger better things. 

 

I am incredibly busy with school, and between that and keeping up with everything going on in my life I dont work. We discussed me maybe working a couple of hours a week, but since he can comfortably support us he has told me to just focus on school. Which has paid off, 4.0 so far.. I am sure that will go down though. I agree its super hard to find ways to do homework and still spend time with him.. luckily (sort of) he works a 4-midnight shift, so I get a lot of time in in the afternoons to do homework. I find myself having a hard time doing it with him being home though.. hahah I find myself daydreaming constantly about being finished with college and finally starting our lives together! 

 

We’re lucky girls to have such supportive, great men in our lives!

Post # 4
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m 29 and fiance makes 29 in April…. neither of us are grown up yet hahaha

 

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Me, unfortunately. I’m (about to turn) 24 and he is 28. Although my situation is a bit different because I’m working full time while attending school, which is incredibly exhausting but also necessary because my work offers up to 3k of tuition reimbursement a year, but only if you work full time and get Bs or better in your classes.

My break was last week…I worked 8 hour shifts every day, plus wrote two papers and had a midterm to study for that also involved a take home essay. So basically it was not a break at all.

I’m still figuring out the best way to manage both…so far the best thing I’ve come up with is that Sunday if my day off – work doesn’t schedule me that day unless they really really have to, and I put all homework aside that day too and just chill with Darling Husband and we work around the house and stuff. I help around the house when I can too, but it is tough and I feel bad because he works a lot too and I know he does more than his fair share of the laundry and dishes (cleaning just tends to not get done too often…it’s awful, the house is a mess), but he is great about it and never complains. My other way of managing both is not so great…putting things off untilt he day before they’re due, then pulling an all nighter, but my body has been letting me know that I am no longer a teenager who can get away with that…sigh.

Post # 6
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Looks like I have the most “grown up” boyfriend… I’m 23, he’s 30. I’m a few months away from finishing my master’s and he has a BS and a decent job. We’re not engaged officially, because we don’t have a ring yet… but we have a date for our wedding setup. I actually think it is a blessing that my boyfriend is older than me. First of all, I love that he is mature and old enough to know what he wants from a relationship and what he wants for the future, so he’s ready to get married (unlike most men my age). I also love the fact that he has a good job while I’m still in school. He provides a lot of emotional support and is very understanding of the stress I have from going to school full time and seeing clients for my practicum 20hrs a week, I’m barely home at night. One way we feel really close is by texting each other throughout the day to talk about how things are going. He also helps a lot by taking care of most of the laundry and dish washing when he’s alone at home. I also love that if I can’t find a job immediately after graduation we could live off his salary for a while. Finally, when it comes to planning the wedding we are taking the “plan before being engaged” approach. Last night we made a preliminary guest list, and looked at some venues online. Even though there’s no ring yet we know its going to happen and its just a matter of time, so might as well start getting things out of the way now, before everything piles up and gets stressful. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
4358 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m 21 and in my final year of university.  He’s 33, in a top job in his career of over 12 years.

Is he “grown-up”? He likes to think so.

Moneywise: he could support us both and a family too.  But I’m too independant to let him.  He rarely gives me cash but supports me in otherways (buys my groceries from time to time).  I try to support him in the ways I can.  We split our vacation 50-50.

I have a few more projects before I finish my BA in June and then we’ve talked about engagement.  He doesn’t want to propose until then, not because he doesn’t love me; but because we have a enough going on at the moment (especially me).  He doesn’t want to take university away from me.

I do think that because we’re in different points in our careers it puts an unusual strain on our relationship.

I really should do some more work….

Post # 8
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Me! Well, kind of. I’m 20 and a full-time student with two part-time jobs on campus. He’s 22 and will be graduating bootcamp in April.  Even though we’re a lot closer in age, his life is experience and responsibility level is WAY different than mine!

Post # 9
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Me too sort of! My Fiance is 22 and has a bachelor’s degree with a double major in Pyschology and Philosophy…right now he is in Grad school but he graduates this summer and then he’s off to be a big boy! Meanwhile I am 23 and one year away from getting my bachelors to teach Spanish. I have been full time for five years in a row now, and will also be full time my last year. Right now I am not working because I simply do not have time, although I have always worked previously. We are literally living off of student loans right now, which sucks, but I would rather be able to focus on my studies and graduate sooner and worry about paying off loans later.

So after he graduates this summer he is going to turn into the primary breadwinner while I finish school.

Post # 10
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Kind of – I am starting graduate school in the fall and he will keep his big boy job (or get a new one, since we are moving :)). However, he’s only 24 (I’m 23 next month) and he’s certainly looking to build his career and possibly get an MBA, so he has further to go as well. The upside is I bring in a decent stipend, so he doesn’t pay for everything; the downside will be that I’ll be busier than him. He seems really upbeat about it though and we are excited :))

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yup, this is basically the dynamic of our relationship too. I’m 22, and he’s 28. When we met he was already graduated with his bach degree, and I’m graduting this May (wahoo)! I work, but it’s at an internship for min. wage and only 10hrs a week, so all of the bills are his responsibility. He has a good job as a software engineer but he also works part time at a grocery store, which I completly hate πŸ™ He’s never home with me.

I’m excited to graduate and help out with household expenses, and to have him around from work more often. We usually spend most of our time on weeknights. I try to get most of my school work done while he’s at work so we can spend more time together.

Post # 12
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Does it count if I’m 30 and going back to school full time?  My husband actually works at the university I attend (that’s why I enrolled there–the spouse tuition benefits are awesome).  When I registered for classes, I was able to get it this semester so that 2 days out of the week, I’m at the campus all day.  That way we carpool together and save gas. 

I tend to look younger than I am, and people who work with my husband think I’m one of the other students until he introduces me.  

Post # 13
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

This will be me soon! I have 4 and a half years of medical school left plus countless years of training. He just has a year of uni and then he’s straight into a job (a pretty good one at that). It is going to be a challange since we’re in such different places. 

Post # 14
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m almost 23 and he’s almost 30. When we met, I was a junior in college full time and he was working full time as an engineer and going to grad school part time. Now he’s almost done with grad school and I started law school. So he’s the only one working. He already owned a nice house when I met him so I moved in after I graduated. He’s really supported me financially and emotionally this year with school but sometimes I feel like I’m at a different place in life then many of my classmates. I almost relate more to my classmates in their late 20s and 30s then to the ones my age. 

Post # 16
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We’ve been in both situations, LOL!

Throughout university, I’ve been the one with the steady P/T job (this past summer I picked up an extra one, too), and FH has been employed during the summers. In May of last year, he took an internship as part of his degree, so he’s currently working F/T while I was in school F/T & working P/Tx2. Now I am graduated (last day was one week ago!), and looking for a F/T position as a nurse, and FH will be going back to school for a semester in the fall, and he’ll them finish in December.

I feel you on feeling guilty about being busy when your FH is not. When FH lived in-town (before his internship), I was always working if I had a day off from school. 20-25 hours per week when I was just in classes, and 10-15 hours per week when I was in practicums (nursing). We got together for lunch on campus when we could, and tried to get together for the occasional evening. Now that FH and I are in an LDR (he moved away for the internship), I’ve been taking time off of my jobs when he comes up/I drive down. We also have a “traditional” relationship in terms of paying, but it doesn’t really bug me because he likes it & because soon enough we’ll have a joint account anyways.

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