Post # 182
Member
15283 posts
Honey Beekeeper
My husband would have to be a millionaire a few times over who was working by choice for me to do that since it’s not like he exactly loves having to work either. We could get by on his salary, save a little less, go on less trips, push retirement out a few years, but I like the financial freedom my income gets us too. I’d never give up work if it meant having to make and stick to budgets. On top of that, our goal is to retired around 45, which is very possible for us. With only him working, he’d have to work until 65 probably. That’s 20 more years *we* can spend doing whatever *we* want together. Not just him suffering an extra 20 years of work so that *I* can do what *I* want for my entire life.
Post # 183
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
@charmedbee:
Well-said, Charmed. It sounds like you made a really good change in your life.
Post # 184
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
@Bunny_the_Bride: I wish! I ask my SO all the time why I cant be his stay at home girlfriend, and he always says “I want to be the stay at home boyfriend!!” haha!
Post # 185
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
Technically at the moment I am a Stay-At-Home Wife.
We moved to a new city in April 2013 for DHs career and to do so I left my great paying job and took a seasonal job that was similar. Being seasonal though it ended after 4 months – I have been on EI (employment insurance- you get paid a % of your previous wages for X amount of time) since then, about 3 months. It definitely has some perks to it but more often then not I am bored! Especially since DH has been out of town for training a lot lately.
So i spend my days relaxing, doing houework – which i hate lol, trying new receipes, working out, taking the dog places and looking for work – this is not a good time of year to be looking. There are places I can work here that are very close to what I did before, it’s just a matter of a spot opening up. So I am tryign to enjoy the break from work since for us it’s not permanent.
Post # 186
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
@PositiveThinking:
Ladies bring out the claws at the slightest sign of someone else having more than them. All you can do is enjoy your lot!
Post # 187
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
@pinkshoes: Those are awesome goals! My mom has worked my entire life because she never felt it was fair for my dad to be the sole breadwinner. I have 3 sisters (I’m the youngest) and I never felt like I missed out on anything having both parents working.
My parents are a little older than the age you want to retire (early 60s) but because my mom worked they are able to retire comfortably. My Fiance and I have similar goals and if I am able bodied, I will work.
I do also have a huge distinction between SAHWs and SAHMs.
Post # 189
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
@Bunny_the_Bride:
Yes, many females are like that unfortunately…especially when they know that their crappy lives are a result of their bad choices.
The single moms who sneered at me (Not every single mother mind you…just the ones who hurled insults at me.) all chose irresponsible and selfish men to have kids with. It isn’t my fault that they were stupid.
Post # 190
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
@MrsSweetT: The point is it makes some people happy. If your husband can afford, and you want to do it, then awesome!!
Post # 191
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
@peachacid: “unemployed” isn’t the best term because it suggests that you are looking for work (hence unemployement benefits, etc). she’s not claiming its her job, just that she simply stays at home and does “wife” things with her life
Post # 192
Member
956 posts
Busy bee
@Bunny_the_Bride: Fi and I are undecided on this…Right now, I work full time out of town and make a good paycheck that is almost completely put into savings for a house. We are trying to live on his income alone so we know if we can actually make it work in the future.
I had the last 2 weeks off work and it was nice. I filled my day with errands, working out, cooking, cleaning, couponing (I fear that I would be an extreme couponer if I was a SAHW) and hanging out with my parents. Ideally, we will have kids, so that will take up some time, but I may start staying at home before that. The biggest fear I have is that I am an extrovert and I was already feeling the cabin fever after 2 weeks, so I am not sure I could go all day without some major human interaction.
Post # 193
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Can I ask a question of those who say they hated working.
Did you really hate “working” or was it more the type of work that you did? Or was there perhaps a negative environment or corporate culture/politics that tainted your POV?
I ask because I think the majority of people aren’t in their career of choice or can’t stand folks they have to answer to. I’d guestimate that’s a good 80% of folks. Everyone is looking for that holy grail of doing what you’re passionate about, getting paid a sustainable salary and not working for an asshole.
For myself when I hated working- mostly it was because I was doing something professionally that wasn’t fulfilling.
I’m currently not doing what I love to do, it pays the bills, but thankfully the company I work for the people are really nice. So currently, I’m able to deal. I look forward to seeing my co-workers (except for one) and I’m appreciated and they are very verbal with their compliments of my work.
However, in the past I’ve been paid more, and had to deal with B.S. back door politics, as I was doing what I loved, and it was stressful. However, I still enjoyed my responsibilities.
I don’t even now if I’m making sense.
Post # 194
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
I was a stay at home fiancée for a couple months, although I was technically unemployed (I quit my job so we could relocate for FIs work and it took me a few months to find work). I loved it at first- I got to unpack everything from our move, decorate, find the good grocery store, etc. but then I got bored. Real bored. I always thought I would love it, but…I didn’t. I would love to be a Stay-At-Home Mom one day, though.
Post # 195
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
@peachacid:
Do you really want to be head-to-head equals with a man? I don’t. I enjoy being the softer sex.
I like a strong traditional man, and I am a traditionally feminine woman. I for one am happy to wear skirts, have doors opened for me, and be taken care of. I enjoy dedicating my life to a man who does these things for me. That’s not oppressive and sexist. That’s a loving exchange.
You can keep what you interpret to be “feminism.” It has made the lives of women harder, not better:
- Women are now expected to have sex with a man before marriage and get proposals later, if ever. Read on some of these Bee boards the heartbreak women go through after investing years with men only to have to be waiting and have precious years of their lives wasted away.
- We’ve become a microwaving, mass-produced, harried society where people have lost track of the idea that the home needs to be a real focus for stability, happiness, and health in our daily lives. The home deserves a keeper.
- Many men are more interested in playing video games, sleeping around, texting, etc, than in becoming husbands and fathers with moral/noble character traits. They have been trained to lose their masculine leadership abilities because they’ve been told that those things have oppressed women too much. That’s really messed up.
I don’t knock women for doing what they want to do, whether at work or at home, but don’t tell me that I should subscribe and adhere to a philosophy which goes against my very beliefs about my own gender role and the direction our society is going in.
Post # 196
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
@Bunny_the_Bride: Oh my goodness, you are a rare breed, atleast from where I am from, a woman has to work unless she has kids and if she doesn’t have kids and doesn’t work her hubby resents her big time, lol. Does your husband work long hours? One income now a days just doesn’t cover as much. I have one friend who is stay at home wife and she is from another country, so she can’t drive, so she just cooks and cleans but thats the only reason she doesnt work bc she has no license lol
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