(Closed) Any housewives without children out there?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you a housewife without kids?

    Yes

    No

    I'm planning to be

  • Post # 199
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    View original reply
    @Bunny_the_Bride:  

    Absolutely! I cut off a friend because she kept choosing the wrong guys and then cried to me when everything fell apart. It became irritating and I lost sympathy for her.

    Post # 200
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @WestCoastV:  +1

    AGREE All my friends who are stay at home wifes/moms have to ASK their hubbys for money and YES sometimes they say no if they don’t think you need it.  I want my Own money.  Also there is something AMAZING about not spending all of your days serving someone (your man) yes honey, would you like my to fluff your pillow, would you like a glass of water, would you like me to do blah blah blah… How about me coming home from work and my MAN is filling up me a glass of wine, he just finished vacuuming, is cooking dinner, while I am watching my favorite tv shows and he and I both WORK.  Its GLORIOUS to experience the OTHER side of getting served rather SERVING someone my whole life… Its a two way street in my home and I love it! ๐Ÿ™‚ But to each their own, if you want to do the serving your whole life.  I am just saying you should have him do it for you every once in a while bc I LOVE IT.

     

    Post # 201
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @bklynbridetobe:  totally understand what you are saying.  Not sure if I fall into your line of questioning, but I will answer anyway ๐Ÿ™‚  I am currently a Stay-At-Home Mom.  I loved my last job, I loved the type of work that I did, and I looked forward to seeing my coworkers also.  The upper management was HORRIBLE !!  Didn’t think it was possible to micro manage from 200 miles away, but they did it.  We have a very smooth running office, all got along and got the job done better and quicker then other offices.  We also were about a 1/4 of the size of other offices, however, we were consistently the highest in sales and reimbursements.  Our office was picked on constantly.  Always changing the way we did things, always telling us we were wrong (see line about sales and reimbursements) and putting us on the line in front of clients.  I worked my tail off and it got to be way too much.  I also had 2 toddlers at home, kept a home and wellll…burnt myself out ( I had no help from my ex).  Basically, missing my boys is what finalized my decision.  If I had a chance to do the same line of work again, I would in a heartbeat.   Did any of that make sense ??  LOL

    Post # 202
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    @Bunny_the_Bride:   Thank you for the support, you are very kind.  We try and take care of each other in the best way that we know how to, and I think that’s admirable enough in my books.

    View original reply
    @charmedbee:   More gratitude coming your way for your encouraging words!  Like you showed: life isn’t static.  There is no universal rulebook that tells us what is right and wrong to do in life.  It is just silly to tell someone that they are wrong, wrong, WRONG for a life choice so long as it is genuinely healthy for each unique household full of united individuals by their own assessment of needs.  We should just encourage one another to create truly happy homes for their families, whatever that may mean for career choices.

     

    Not all homes are filled with people that hate their jobs or burden themselves with work simply for money; my Fiance loves his career and, while he will likely retire early from his main job, he will never really quit working as long as he lives because he really loves doing what happens to pay the bills adequately.  When our kids are little, he will likely work from home or rearrange his hours to be with them more because it’s a priority to him to both be home with his kids as much as possible and work.  I get to decide my priorities as I go because of my partner, and we chose each other because our goals for our futures lined up just as much as our chemistry did.  If we change, we adapt or choose not to be together.  If I stay home, I know it may be hard to get back into the game, but I will have chosen to take that risk with as many precautions as I could.  Gender roles may make some parts easier or harder by having to interact with sexist outside misconceptions along the way, but that doesn’t mean gender influenced our decisions anymore than we wanted it to–and feminism has always been about the freedom to decide what we build our lives around without fear of pressure or backlash from our peers (including other women).  Point being: what may look unfair or biased by gender from the outside isn’t always applicable to those living the life being analyzed, so telling people they’re wrong for living a life that makes the people in the relationship happy is equal parts sanctimonious, sexist, and generally superfluous.

     

     There is no point in directly attacking or criticizing another’s harmless career or lifestyle choices/values unless you have some crystal ball that gives you the supreme authority on what is right or wrong.

    Post # 203
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    View original reply
    @Bunny_the_Bride:  

    I am a mix of traditional and modern. My husband is very chivalrous and I LOVE it.

    He holds open doors for me, helps me with my coat and doesn’t let me lift heavy things.

    My husband hardly lets me pay for anything because he likes to be the provider.

    When I have big decision to make, I listen to his input because he is very intelligent and wise. I also loves the way he doesn’t try to control me.

    At the same time, I still want to work and earn my own money. I have a life outside of my marriage and I don’t want to be the only one who does housework.

    Post # 205
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Sounds nice in theory but with the advent of plumbing straight to the home, let alone washers dryers electric irons and dishwashers, I don’t know what the heck I’d do all day. 

    I get the need when we had to tend our own gardens, feed the chickens and collect their eggs and hand wash all of our clothes with water collected from a river or something but honestly unless you are both working really long hours and/or have a long commute, you shouldn’t have a hard time keeping a 2 person home maintained on top of a full time job. I don’t see how someone can fill their days with that, even with hobbies and volunteering. I mean..I do that stuff too. 

    Post # 206
    Member
    1845 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I could never be a SAH anything personally, but I don’t knock anyone else’s Choices.

    what I legit can’t understand is what a Stay-At-Home Wife does all day? For example, I work, I cook healthy meals everyday, I look after our son , I bake, I make cleaning supplies, I do all the shopping/errands, I do all the bills, my house is clean…I mean, Im not trying to paint myself as a saint here (I’m certainly not), I just can’t understand how doing all that other stuff takes THAT much time, when I’m able to do it with a full time job? Again, not trying to judge, just really don’t get it.

    personally I need to feel like I’m contributing to our household financially. It’s a must for me, and I need my husband to do the same. He wouldn’t want me to be a SAH and I would not be happy if he were either. I’d feel too guilty spending any money if I didn’t earn it. 

    Post # 207
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @BrideToBe14:  I am a Stay-At-Home Mom and my home is a 2 way street also.  My DH has no problem helping or just cleaning up from meals.  He has no problem cooking, cleaning or doing laundry.  There are days that he comes home and tells me to go sit.  He has dinner.  Why ??  Because our home is an equal home.  He spoils me just as I spoil him.  He doesn’t say ‘fluff my pillow’ get my dinner, get me a drink… ever.  If he did I wouldn’t be with him, nor would I ever tolerate that disrespect.  He asks me if I want a glass of water if he gets up, he brings me flowers for no reason, if one of the kids needs help with homework and I am making dinner, he helps.   I buy and spend what I want.  I don’t ask.  If I need something or want something I get it.  I don’t ask for money and never have and never need too.  I don’t have an allowance.  Every relationship should be equal, as we are all equals.  I am no better then you because I am home and you are no better then me because you currently work. 

    Post # 208
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @bella128:  Okay I want to clear up WHY A lot of People keep saying being a stay at home housewife is the same as UNemployed. ๐Ÿ™‚

     

    #1 Keeping your house clean and feeding yourself is NOT A JOB or CAREER it is something EVERYONE must do, single, not married, married…You have to keep your place decent and feed yourself so that is not a job, that is something you Have to do ๐Ÿ™‚

     

    #2 So if keeping the house clean & cooking is NOT a job, bc everyone has to do it to Have a DECENT Living space, then you don’t really have a “job” if you are a stay at home housewife, Therefore, you are unemployed…You don’t have to be searching for a job to be unemployed… Anyone who does not have a job is unemployed.

     

    If you are a stay at home wife, you are still unemployed, unemployed means not employed, lol, which means you do not have a job…

     

    View original reply
    @MrsSweetT:  ๐Ÿ™‚

     

    Post # 210
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @BrideToBe14:  Yup.  I am a Stay-At-Home Mom and I have no problem with saying I am unemployed.  In fact, when people ask what I do, I tell them, I am unemployed.  I don’t have a job.  I am unemployed.  I have 3 boys under the age of 10 that are my bosses though Laughing

    Post # 211
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I work full-time in a flexible job for my career — I’m an attorney, so being able to work only 40 hours a week on a regular schedule is rare.  I also earn more money than my fiance, although in my opinion it’s “our” money and the number on the paycheck is irrelevant.

    I have honestly no desire to be “taken care of” by my fiance, nor do I want my job to be taking care of our home and his life.  We take care of each other.  We take care of the home together, we cook together, we clean together, we walk our dogs together, we budget our money together.  We are a team, 100%, in every sense of the word.  I am fulfilled by having a partner who views me as an equal.

    The topic ‘Any housewives without children out there?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors