(Closed) Any housewives without children out there?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you a housewife without kids?

    Yes

    No

    I'm planning to be

  • Post # 212
    Member
    7365 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    @charmedbee:  burnt myself out ( I had no help from my ex).  Basically, missing my boys is what finalized my decision.  If I had a chance to do the same line of work again, I would in a heartbeat.

    Perfect sense. Thanks for answering. 

    Post # 213
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee

    @Bunny_the_Bride:  By the way I think your life choice is amazing for you.  These threads always cause a little debate, but I like debates they are fun, seeing how everyone views them.  Cheers to you for standing up for what you believe in… I have to ask you though did you see the Stepford wives or know what they stand for?  Have you seen the movie?

    I use to think they were beautiful and that I wanted to be like one when I was like 19 until i found out what they represent.  They are like beautiful robots, with no mind, no sense of self and no purpose but to be sexual objects that serve their husband with no mind, opinions of their own..  

    I can see you wanting to be a 50’s wife:) but I would steer clear of referring to yourself as  wanting to or being like a stepford wife, because if people know the history or what they stand for they may look at you like you just want to be some dumb trophy wife. They have a stereotype of being  very negative, transparent, shallow, and empty souls.  I wouldn’t look up to being like them or tell ppl you are like one, it comes off not as you think:) Watch the movie 🙂

    Kinda reminds me of when young girls quote Marilyn Monroe quotes when in actuality Marilyn had a lot of demons, was not a good role model, sleep with tons of married men, yet women embrace quotes from her daily that usually reflect some kind of oversexualization innocence…Just because she was pretty… It makes me feel like those people need a history lesson, lol.  Its like do they even know what she did in her life? lol

    Post # 214
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee

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    @charmedbee:  aw thats cute, 3 sons that are you bosses:) Oh how my man would love 3 sons!  You are a lucky woman:)

    Post # 215
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

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    @bklynbridetobe:  I loved what I did, but actually preferred volunteering my skills as it took out the competition and politics that had me overworking myself and driving down my quality of life.  Very thoughtful question.

    Post # 216
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

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    @BrideToBe14:  He is very happy with 3 sons, although I say at times there is a little too much testosterone in the house LOL   We are a blended family (2 are mine, 1 his) and I am very lucky.  He is a true gentleman and I admire and respect his hard work.  I thank him often for being able to stay home and realize that not many get the chance that I do and am grateful that I do have what I have. 

    Post # 217
    Member
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would be happy being a Stay-At-Home Wife (though I’m pregnant so I’d be a Stay-At-Home Mom I guess) but DH would have to be making a LOT of money or have lots of $$ in the bank.  I mean a lot, enough for me to feel comfortable that I could live on it for the rest of my life if anything happened.  I wouldn’t be comfortable staying at home where if something happened, I would have to go back to work.  Because then you’re looking at a rough time if you don’t have the experience in the workforce.

    I like/enjoy my job, but if I won the lottery I wouldn’t be doing it anymore!

    I do find it really weird that some people seem to think you can’t make a house a home without staying at home.  I keep the house clean, cook from scratch, bake from scratch…everything.  And I work and workout.  It’s not that hard (without kids!).  Of course, since I work, DH gets his portion of the housework (cleaning) to do.

    Post # 219
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I suppose to each their own. Being a stay at home anything isn’t in the cards for me.  I’m too career oriented for that.  And OP to answer a previous question you asked about if anyone would really want to be a head-to-head equal to their husband….. um…. yeah. I do, and strongly consider myself his equal as does he.  He is most certainly not “the boss” in our relationship; not anymore than I am.  It’s a give and take out of respect.  Give and take doesn’t really apply when one is the boss and the other is the…… well…. the antithises of the boss (all words I’m coming up with here probably would offend and that isn’t my intention).  Feeling the way I do is no more wrong or right than feeling the way you.  

    And yes, I cook, clean, crochet, play video games, partake in various hobbies, take care of my husband, and his kids. But the beauty of this is, he does all the same things (except the crochet thing) as I do.  Please do not take this as snark, it’s not intended to be.  I’m just one of those people that doesn’t feel fulfilled unless I’m doing 900 different things.  I realize that doesn’t work for everyone.  

     

    Post # 221
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Right now I am a housewive (housefiance?) without kids. I do contribute financially a little bit to the household (1/3 of rent) from my savings but my Fiance pays for everything else.  I was very actively looking for a Job in a different field of work because I was miserable working as an attorney. But when you have a law degree and a couple of masters, conforming to the monetary and let’s face it, prestige decrease can be hard.. I mean, I have no other training or job experience outside of the legal world but I wasn’t exactly applying to McDonalds, Lol.

    At the moment, I’m taking a “break” from looking, from applying, from going to interviews and being rejected because of either ‘overqualification’ or lack of experience. It was wearing on my self esteem and confidence and making me depressed. I am very happy that my Fiance has been so incredibly patient and supportive to me and I very much enjoy being at home, but I do not want to be a Stay-At-Home Wife forever. I am starting to feel a bit unfulfilled (although I do not know how much of that is bc of societal pressure and family expectations – I was a gifted child).

    All I truly know is that I want to find my calling, a job that I really love and that helps giving me a sense of purpose. I thought I was very ambitious and career-oriented  At this point, I no longer want to become “the big shot” that i always assumed I’d be. Now I just want to be happy. I think everybody on this board, regardless of the snark and judgment is also simply on the pursuit of happiness. It comes in different ways and formulas for different people. And what works at certain point of your life might cease to work in another and that’s Ok.

    I will say that the financial aspect is still important to me because I want to be able to ‘spoil’ my Fi with surprise presents or trips, I want to get that expensive handbag for myself and generally add a lot more to the table than an elaborate meal and a spotless house. I also worry about my own ability to support myself or my future kids should something happen to my FH. There are very few fields of work out there that are forgiving towards vast periods of inactivity.

    Post # 222
    Member
    1268 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1994

    Yes, but it is because I am disabled. If we lived in an area that wasn’t so frekking expensive (SF Bay Area) it might be possible to more comfortable live off one income. But I think we would likely have kids if that were the case.

    Post # 223
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    This is an interesting debate. I can definitely see both sides, and have known a few women who don’t work and also don’t have children.

    Both my husband and I work, and I would choose to do so independent of any financial concerns. My reasons for doing so (again… without considering the money which is important!) are as follows:

    – Social isolation: I am a total introvert, and work keeps me social. I realize for many people it is the other way around (i.e. work gets in the way of friends and family) which is totally understandable.

    – Keeping busy: I like to keep busy… probably more than I should. I worry that if I didn’t not work I’d either slump into being a couch potato and get depressed, or would get unhealthily obsessed with exercising or something else. (With *unhealthy* being the operative phrase here). I just don’t do well with unstructured time.

    I am also in the exceptionally fortunately position of really enjoying my job. It is hard for me to know what I would want to do if I was in a significantly different position. Thank you all for giving me something interesting to think about today!

    Post # 224
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @Bunny_the_Bride:  It is not that I WANT to be equal to a man.  It is that I AM equal to men.  I’m not less because I don’t have a penis.  

    ETA: My mom and dad were both working adults, and they both took care of my brother and me.  They cooked our meals (from scratch), they cleaned, they taught us how to clean and cook, they helped us with school, et cetera et cetera.  People are acting as though men can’t even lift a finger…when it’s totally possible.  

    Post # 225
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

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    @FortiesFlare:  I do agree – I’m not sure how the days are filled. I don’t have kids yet, but I know what you mean about finding a way to do all the other stuff of life during the time when you aren’t working.

    My friend who is a Stay-At-Home Wife came over last week, and admired how I kept the house clean and said she just didn’t have time for that. I probably gave her a quite quizzical look when she said that. My mom, (who has been a Stay-At-Home Wife since me and my siblings all moved out 10+ years ago) has gotten so inefficient that she defines a “super busy” day as one in which she goes to WalMart and goes for a walk.

    I would worry about this happening to myself. I think when you are busy you learn how to be efficient, and I’d like to stay that way.

    Post # 226
    Member
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    @Bunny_the_Bride:  I’m not a house wife mostly because of my education. I’ve got an engineering degree and a professional engineering license (which lets me sign off on engineering design to be safe for the public: cars, elevators, mechanical systems, etc.). I worked very hard to get where I am and wouldn’t want to give it up. I think if I didn’t have a career I was passionate about I would still work at least part time. I’m from a family that didn’t have a lot growing up. I have a mental block that would keep me from staying home. I need to contribute financially.

    That being said, if it works for you, your husband and other couples, I don’t see why it should matter to others who choose to work. You’re not hurting anyone by being a stay at home wife.

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