Post # 286
Hi I’ve been married for nine years and had jobs when single and dating, plus 3 jobs while married but I am back home now. My husband and I keep changing apartments, cities and even countries for his various jobs.
I feel very hurt right now. I took my vows seriously when I got married and he knew I was a musician and a teacher, but I closed my business to move with him and all. We didn’t have a penny to our names when we got married but we saved and now we are not doing so good due to job losses and low pays.
I’ve had it both ways: both insults and compliments about my status. “You’re too smart to be a housewife” or “get a job etc.”. At this point I don’t know what to do with myself…I cook, clean and take care of our cats. I’ve gone through surgeries, rehab and lots of doctor appointments, plus health issues and medication, hospital stays, etc. At my previous jobs, my bosses told me I was too much of an artist. That’s who I am. I had more students but we moved yet again this time to the country side and there is nothing to do here. I don’t like dealing with the parents so much anyway and colleagues and bosses…I studied music at university and was a straight A+ student. I feel lost right now in marriage and don’t feel respected by anyone…I don’t know what to do anymore.
Post # 287
Hey, there, I know this thread is 2 years old, but I sought out this exact topic and thank you for bringing it up!!! This statement is EXACTLY me. I grew up in a household where my mom and dad owned a biz. Dad was always drunk and mom ran the show, working 7-7 most days. The thing is, she LOVES to work and HATES housework. For years, my career was my #1 priority until it dawned on me that I was living my mother’s dream! When I met my husband, the idea of relying on a man for anything, let alone our finances was a joke to me. Now, with my current husband, I can see it. He makes me feel like nesting!! He’s also made it clear he doesn’t want kids, and I’m totally down with that too. Right now I’m paying off a $100,000 school loan and 75% of my income is going towards that debt. The funny thing is, I’m happy on 25% of my income and can’t wait until I don’t have the debt and can reduce or eliminate my job! I just have one last hurdle in my head….not working at all, but I do value a good home life and I think that value has been lost in most situations. I hope I will have the guts to let it all go and immerse myself in what truly makes me happy! 😀
Post # 288
I’m so happy to find out that i’m not alone! I’ve been married for 4 months and I quit from my job as a teacher after my miscarriage a month ago. Now I am a housewife with no kid (yet) and waiting impatiently for it. I sometimes think “am I being too lazy?” because all of my friends are working, running a business, or taking care of their children. In the reality, I really enjoy to be at home, cooking, running errands, and taking care of my husband. Some people tried to convince me that I’m taking my skills and bachelor degree for granted, well, am I?
Post # 289
Let me tell you a story and then you can decide what to do with it. When i was born my mom was working and my dad was working for his father. My mom worked until i was 4 years old and then quit her job for legitimate reasons, overworked, underpaid, company was going down, new management was bad etc… My mom was then a stay at home mom for almost 18 years. My parents thought it was important for my mom to be home with me and my younger brother who was just born. Then my dad took over his dad’s business. We had everything we needed and were living comfortably. Everything was great. Unfortunately the receission hit our small business HARD. On top of that my mom got breast cancer and my brother was diagnosed with Crohns disease (all within the same year). With all those medical bills the savings started dwindling and my parents decided my mom would go back to work in 2008 to help suppliment the income until the economy and the savings recovered. My mom, never went to college and her skills were limited to the job she quit in 1987… She spent almost a year trying to find a job. She got one. In a crappy office, getting paid a little bit above minimum wage to be an overworked secretary. Unfortunately my dad’s business didn’t recover (no bail outs for little businesses) but the property it’s on is worth literally millions. SO my dad sold the land the business was on a few months ago and now they’re set. The point i’m trying to get accross is that you’re not
WASTING your skills or taking them for granted. You’re living comfortably for right now. But dont let your skills become outdated, be a stay at home mom if that’s what works for you. But by all means keep your skills up to date in case something happens and there is a need for you to go back to work. You dont want to be the older person in the field struggling for work because you’ve been out of the workforce for so long that your skills aren’t relevant anymore. You mentioned you were a teacher. Perhaps just to keep you up to date you could tutor on the side? Just a thought.