Post # 32
Wow, a lot of thinly veiled snark here in some comments.
OP, whilst I am not completely a Stay-At-Home Wife, I do only work three days a week, and if I could do less, I would. My work will not let me drop anymore hours, and until our mortgage is paid (2 more years or so) I am helping to pay it down.
I have two degrees and can say with all honesty that my self worth is not in the least bit connected to what I do. Therefore, what I find more fulfilling is providing a house, home and life for my husband and I. I totally get that for others this is NOT fulfilling, and that is a-ok too.
It is anti feminist to judge another woman for a choice that suits her and her loved one/s. Just saying.
Post # 33
I personally would never be able to feel that that lifestyle was justifiable.
I would love to be able to say that I wouldn’t judge people who can justify this to themselves, I struggle because I was raised to know that hard work and making a contribution are virtuous, so it just goes against my values.
Keeping a house in good order is not a full-time workload for any normally capable adult. If you’re not also raising children, or farming etc…you’re basically just using all of your time to enjoy your personal hobbies. While hobbies like crafting, sewing, and cooking complex recipes are very lovely, I can’t imagine feeling fulfilled without contributing more.
If I were in a position where I was not needed to contribute financially to my household by working or caring for children, I would feel a strong ethical obligation to help those who are not so lucky or contribute to my community by managing charities or volunteering at least 20hrs a week.
OP, it isn’t my place to tell you what to do but I hope you would consider starting a small business, or selling your crafts, or getting heavily involved in some volunteer work.
Post # 34
I have what’s called a non-working spousal IRA, which my husband puts money into. This is a good investment vehicle for all housewives.
Plus, I have my wife allowance I can do what I want with. I save some of it, along with the other financial tools it is wise to have.
Post # 36
I am – I was working from home/consulting but being pregnant in the off season (construction industry in winter) I am not really doing much of anything with that right now and I’m too tired to go find more work. I have a part time retail job to get out of the house and socialize. I cook everything from scratch, do crafts, bake, spend time with family, read, work out, write and clean (I hate the cleaning part). Its definitely not where I saw myself, however with DH’s career it doesn’t make sense for me to work long hours in a job where I’m making a fraction of the money. Worse than the pay, the hours and commitment to the office took me away from taking care of us. I would like to find something else to do with my education but I doubt I will find anything with reasonable hours and with a little one I don’t know how working from home would go for the first few years. Its my choice to let my husband’s career take priority for the sake of our wellbeing and relationship and I’m good with that. I want to be there for my kids so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m pretty good at being alone but it does get lonely.
Post # 37
in the future, if my SO was making a very good income, and we decided to not have kids, MAYBE i would consider being a kidless homemaker. however, i know i would spend A LOT of time volunteering in my community, or maybe fostering animals in need. that would acutally be very fulfilling for me 🙂
we aren’t yet married though, and i am pretty sure we want kids one day. so maybe that is just a dream of mine for now.
Post # 38
My concern comes from experience. Having been a Stay-At-Home Mom, then divorcing, I found myself in a position where I was unable to support myself ( and, in my case, my children).
We all have high hopes for our marriages, but a significant percentage of marriages fail. I would definitely encourage you to do some volunteer work using the skills you gained in your education and previous jobs, so you do not find yourself unable to stand on your own two feet should the need arise.
Investments are great, but very few people could survive 30, 40 or 50 years on their investmments.
Post # 39
YES! exactly my thoughts. volunteerism.
Post # 41
That sounds like a great choice. I think relationships really flourish with one spouse at home taking care of the house.
Post # 42
I stayed home before we had our daughter. Actually I did personal training 3 hrs a day. I have a college education but we didn’t need me to work and I enjoyed not working. I didn’t call myself unemployed because I wasn’t looking for a job.
After having our DD I stayed home 2 years and will SAH again in May/June when we have our last LO.
Post # 43
I couldn’t do it. I always want to make sure I can work outside of the home in case something happens to my husband because he’s in the military. I don’t want to find myself in the position of not being able to support myself without him. But more power to ya!
Post # 44
@Bunny_the_Bride: I’m not, but I think it’s great that you are able, too. I’m off during the summer, and prided myself on keeping a clean house and making a full meal from scratch every night. My husband loved it, if we could afford it I know he’d prefer me to stay home :), as would I.
Post # 45
I think to each his own! It’s not my place to judge someone for how they live their life as long as they feel fullfilled in what they’re doing and it works for them.
I think it’s funny how people are quick to judge a housewife with no kids and pull the “I could NEVER do that beause to me it’s just being lazy and useless” card.
That’s like me going into a parenting thread and saying that people who homeschool their kids are crazy nutjobs and that I would NEVER in a million years subject my kid to a life of very little interaction with people outside of their home.
It’s not my business to say how someone should/shouldn’t live. I personally work, from home, for my own business. I know people probably think I have it made becuase I have a very flexible scheudle and have the luxury to just up and travel or do whatever I want when I want. It’s not something that would work for everyone but it works for me/DH.
Post # 46
not so much. Taking care of and making a home can be VERY time consuming. There’s more to being a Stay-At-Home Wife than unloading the dishwasher every morning.