(Closed) Any housewives without children out there?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you a housewife without kids?

    Yes

    No

    I'm planning to be

  • Post # 93
    Member
    1963 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I guess I sort of am right now. We have no kids, and I am staying home for a while. I am working on my thesis, so I guess I am technically a student, but it doesn’t feel like it since I am used to working close to full time on top of being in school, plus I have no classes anymore. Honestly though, I hate it and I will go back to working as soon as I am done my thesis. To each their own though, it sounds like you are doing what you love OP!

    Post # 94
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Bunny_the_Bride:  I am, but involuntarily. The job market where we live is terrible. I’m really hoping to find something soon, because cleaning and such all the time is driving me bonkers plus I am not the type to be okay with feeling like I am relying on someone else to take care of me. 

    Post # 95
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

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    @julies1949:  I always wonder about that (how much time is spent on housework when you are a mother), because we don’t have any kids and it feels like I am constantly cleaning up around the house and think I would probably LITERALLY go insane if we had kids. My husband does the opposite of helping out around the house though (socks EVERYWHERE!) so that certainly does not help.

    I am by no means a neat freak but I strongly prefer things to be in their place, whereas DH will just randomly set things somewhere, especially places that are out of sight to me like the top of the refrigerator, and then ask me where stuff is because he can’t remember. Grrrr.

    Post # 96
    Member
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @PromiseRooster:  +1. I take care of my house and contribute financially. It’s quite easy to do. 

    Post # 97
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would absolutely be a stay at home wife if finances allowed-assuming husband isn’t controlling or crazy about the expectations. Having time to put into your passions (not all of us are so lucky to have jobs that fulfill this part of life), go to the gym, spend time with family (parents, siblings), volunteer-there’s a lot to do if you have any level of creativity. Work is necessary to keep the world turning, but let’s not kid ourselves-many of us aren’t maximizing our lives with the work we do and in those cases, who the heck would turn down the chance to do whatever the hell you want?!? I envy that freedom. Enjoy it, OP.

    Post # 98
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife right now because I’m unemployed…I’m on a waiting list for a position working with autistic children. As soon as they find a family whose schedule matches my availability, I can work! I’m starting to go a little nuts not doing anything but cleaning and cooking all the time. I’m also going to school full time but I’m still on a winter break. DH likes having me home right now because once I get my degree, our roles will be reversed and I’ll be the breadwinner working all the hours. It makes a good trade-off. 🙂

    Post # 99
    Member
    4501 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    View original reply
    @letigre:  Exactly.

    Feminism is about the right to CHOOSE. It is not about shaming another human being into following a pathway that feels more comfortable/ worthwhile to THEM.

    Oh dear lord, I just used random capitalisation. I apologise. This is something I am very passionate about.

    Post # 100
    Member
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    These threads often become heated and there are two camps: “I love working/want to contribute financially” vs. “There is more to life than earning a paycheck.”

    I think it’s important to keep in mind that billions of women – whichever “camp” they fall into – do not have the option to not work.

    I used to think the concept of Stay-At-Home Wife was BS but I now understand that if you’re living a more alternative lifestyle based on “bread labor” it could be necessary. If you are making all your own food, clothes, cleaning supplies, etc. you *are* helping to sustain your family financially.

    However, if it’s just a thing where you dislike having a 9-to-5 and your chores extend to loading up the dishwasher and baking for fun, I don’t think you should say “SAHW.” Just own up and say, “I choose not to work.” 

    Post # 101
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My goal is to be a full time teacher, and same with FH, so neither of us will be staying home. However, I’d have no issue with staying home, and I would love to do it, but I would have to be bringing in some kind of income. I would definitely continue teaching flute out of my house to get that money and also to fulfill my desire to teach. I want to be able to contribute to finances, and I’d want us to be co-dependent on each other, not just me depending on him.

    In my case there are some things that are turning me against staying home. Stuff like:

    • FH is from another country. What if one day he decides to go home? I would obviously go with him, but I would not want to be plopped in a foreign country with an empty CV.
    • Cost of living in this city is really high. We want to buy a house one day, but with average family home prices quickly nearing $1 Million, I don’t know if that is even possible on two teacher salaries, never mind one!
    • We want children, so the cost of living here again comes into play. More mouths to feed and more bodies to clothe… it would be good to have two incomes for that. If we were going to be childfree, it might be different.
    • I want to work. Specifically as a music teacher in a school. I’m working hard towards it right now and I’m not sure if I could let that goal fall by the wayside.

    So I don’t think it could work for me, personally. But it works for you and many other people, which is absolutely great. I wish I could do it, but in my situation I think the cons greatly outweigh the pros.

    Post # 102
    Member
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  +1

    Before I became pregnant and tired I used to be constantly busy! Always running errands, so that when he gets home from work or on his days off we just enjoy eachother, we don’t have to spend that time getting other things done. 

    Im on all the accounts with access to everything, so I’m never worried about finances. I always mention to DH that hey I’m planning on buying somethint that’s $100+ BUT he also does the same, he always asks before making big purchases. I definitely feel like I contribute to our relationship and he does too. He always puts my education before anything else, as long as both people in the relationship are supportive of one another then it doesn’t matter what the dynamic of the relationship is. 

    Post # 103
    Member
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Bunny_the_Bride:  Question (to all the SAHWs), are you concerned that if something happened to your husband’s job and you needed two incomes, you would struggle to re-enter the job market after many years of staying at home? How do you deal with that?

    Post # 105
    Member
    1073 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    No, not now. However, I kind of experienced it when I was working on my MA; I did not work, but my husband (then fiance) did. It was awesome being able to sleep in and work out whenvever I wanted, but I definitely felt guilty watching my honey work hard to pay most, if not all of our bills and not being able to help out monetarily. I cleaned the house and stuff, but it’s not the same as working 12-16 hour days on your feet like my husband was doing everyday. However, once we have kids (God willing), I would like to stay home while they’re babies/small children.

    Post # 106
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    *raises hand*

    I have a Master’s Degree, and I worked as a librarian for 6 years. I have no children, and I’ve been a housewife for one month. I left my job due to extreme burnout and very little pay. My husband and I both felt that the contribution I coulld make at home was actually more valuable to us than the meager pay I was bringing home.

    My husband works 60+ hours a week on a GOOD week. His hours are crazy, but he loves his work. As much as he’d like to help out around the house, he doesn’t have the time. We find that we’re both happier with him working and me taking care of everything else.

    When we both worked, we were eating crap food out of boxes and constantly feeling stressed out. If a single task was added to our normal routine, like preparing a dish to take to a potluck, it was like the end of the world. It sucked.

    From the snarky comments here, I gather that other Bees keep a clean house and prepare dinner and run errands at lightning speed and without any stress, while working full time jobs too. MORE POWER TO YA, LADIES! I’m not as heroically efficient as you at that stuff. Or we have different standards regarding food and housekeeping.

    Now I spend my days cleaning, cooking, running nonstop errands, and getting my condo ready to sell so we can buy a new house. This week I’ve been painting the bedroom (including the ceiling, UGH) and reupholstering a chair. I like it a lot, and few things make me happier than DIY projects and decorating. But I know it might get dull after a while. Once we’ve moved into our new place and gotten settled in there, I might get a part time job. Time will tell.

    This is sort of unrelated, but I’m laughing at all the commenters who assume housewives are obsessed with their nails. I haven’t had my nails done since our wedding!! Nails and salons aren’t really my thing. If I’m guilty of being lazy, it’s because I’m knitting baby presents for my friend when I should be running errands. Yeah, I’m definitely guilty of that!

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