Post # 107
I am also a housewife1 My husband took a job away from home, with lots of flexibilty, so we decided that I wouldnt work so we could travel etc, since his job had good felxibilty!
I do the same types of things, cook from scratch, and housework… I learned to crochet this year, and I am taking some University courses to complete a new degree…! I know it’s not the most ‘favourable’ position on the bee, and I’ve taken fire for it before… but until we moved I worked, and for where we are now, this works better for us!
Post # 108
Yikes! So many judgey comments here.
If Fiance made incredible money, I know he would be pressuring me to quit my job that I kill myself at. My job does not fufill me as a person or make me who I am. It’s a job. I would love to be at home cooking, cleaning, taking care of my pets, exercising, and my hobbies!
As if anyone here has a right to judge someone elses’s lifestyle…….?
Post # 109
@Bunny_the_Bride: I am a wife that stays home most of the time. Most of my classes are online but a few have been at the college. My health hasn’t been exactly stable lately but I’m hoping some lifestyle changes will help. We don’t have kids. I’m not sure if we’re able to conceive and we probably won’t try to until I’m well.
Post # 110
I feel like if you can afford it and you’re happy, then who is anyone to care about another couple’s life choices?
No one has to justify their choices to anyone.
Women have enough problems and “standards” to uphold in society for us to judge each other. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
Post # 111
*knock on wood* If something were to happen to my fiance’s job I have no dobut he’d be able to find another job within a reasonable amount of time. He went to a very prestigious school and has great recommendations from his professors and past employers. (For example, he just won an ‘Employee of the Year’ award this December.)
I’m going to school right now and will be graduating soon. Thank goodness I have that to fall back on. Ultimately, it’s up to me whether or not I want to work. Right now I’m not working and we can afford it on his income alone.
If I had to return to the work then I would, but in no way do I find it fulfilling to my life. (I even used to make double of what my fiance makes when we first met.)
We always keep a certain amount in the bank saved as a safety net.
I’m not a very materialistic person, so it’s a bit insulting when everyone thinks all we do is get our nails done, go shopping, and get lunch every day.
(Right now my nails are unpolished, I’ve spent a total of $300 on clothes this year, and I love cooking/baking so…)
Post # 112
Based on my impressions of the housewives I know (who are all wonderful people), it just seems a little odd to feel so right about this lifestyle but recoil from the “unemployed” term. I don’t have any disrespect for that choice, yet I don’t quite understand comparing it to a job of any kind.
But, my understanding has no bearing on whether it’s the right thing for anyone else, so by all means, let there be housewives!
Post # 113
When we first got married I was! Well still am I guess, but there is a bub on the way now. No one really realises how much goes into being a homemaker unless they are one. We have fresh delcious homemade meals everyday, I cook most things from scratch, the house is very well looked after and I do a lot of embroidery, sewing and crafts so a lot of our household items and gifts are handmade. I enjoy it and my Husband LOVES coming home to a warm home and food on the table everyday. It’s not really the same as being unemployed at all because it IS your job. You still wake up every morning to set tasks and deadlines and still have to have the chores done.
People might call me lazy for not having a job but when i”m cleaning all the windows in the house or washing all the curtains or cleaning all the skirting boards I certainly don’t feel that way! Also because I don’t work DH and I get a lot more time together than we did when I worked as we both had odd hours. It’s really important to us for our relationship.
Post # 114
Great for those that have the opportunity, but for me I would need to at least work a PT job or run a homebased business. I’m also in the camp that if your relationship ends that I don’t want to be 100% dependent on my former partners income. Sometimes the writing isnt on the wall and I don’t want to be blindsided. Always have your own, I think its prudent.
Post # 115
Olivepepper @letigre: x10000000
OnceUponATime I could never stay home all day. I’m a total feminist and have to put in half the finances.
You should realize that being a “total feminist” has absolutely nothing to do with putting in half the finances. It IS about having the ability, as a woman, to freely pursue whatever path you’d like in life, without judgment. Especially from other women.
Post # 116
Im actually really surprised there are so many housewife bees (SAHW) not planning to have babies. Not sure if its where I live (in the city) but I dont know anyone like that IRL.
Lots of SAHMs but no SAHWs.
Post # 117
I think a lot of people claiming they could “never” be a stay at home wife are awfully sanctimonious, what’s so great about working hard anyway? It’s not like having a career makes you a better person, or working until you’re exhausted has any inherent value of its own.
I’m not one, but man, how can you not be jealous?! I sure as heck am! To be taken care of by my husband while I do all the housework and spend the rest of the time on my own pursuits, writing, reading, crafts, etc. sounds fantastic. I’d rather work and be with DH than be a housewife to anyone else, but if he ever made enough for us to get by on one salary (no kids) I’d be pushing for it immediately. (Especially if we had a little land and I could do things like keep a vegetable garden, maybe raise some chickens, etc.)
Post # 118
that’s my exact reasoning too! I’m only responsible for cooking on my days off, if I didnt work and had to cook daily I’d be a sad soul.
Post # 119
Glad you’re happy and to each their own, but I don’t agree with being a housewife unless there are kids in the picture, you’re a student or your partner’s job is very low hours/something well paid that they actually enjoy doing. But if you’re a mother or a student, you’re not a “housewife”, you’re a “stay at home mum” or “student”. And I definitely don’t agree with being a housewife if you don’t have substantial money of your own (NOT “joint savings”), rather than being 100% reliant on your husband.
I just plain don’t think it’s right for one half of the couple to shoulder all the financial responsibility for the household. That’s far too much pressure, even if the working partner is ok with it now. Supporting the family financially and running the house (without kids) are not equal- if you have problems and can’t keep up your side of the bargain for a while, nothing happens. If the working partner has problems and can’t keep their side, everyone suffers, possibly catastrophically.
Post # 120
What right do you have to “push for that” though? Do you not think your husband would like to sit at home indulging in all his hobbies? Would you be happy if your husband decided you earned enough to support the pair of you, so he was going to give up work and let you look after him?
Post # 121
I was a housewife without having kids and I hated it. It was involuntary due to unemployment and attending college.
I need to work and earn my own income in order to feel good about myself.
Domesticity has a certain appeal but it cannot be my whole life.
I am happy for any woman who has a life that she is comfy with.