Post # 1
I’m catholic my..fiance is muslim. We are not doing any catholic ceremonies for our wedding just a mulim ceremony here first (for his grandparents) then a destination symbolice wedding after this and a reception there. Whenever I tell people my fiance is muslim they gasp like its so wrong and it bugs the hell out of me. They ask all these dumb questions about how can I marry him if I’m catholic and blah blah blah. I honestly dont plan on converting at this point cause I’m not familiar enough with the whole religion to consider converting..at this point. I might in the future consider it and my mom hates this! It makes me so mad when she makes comments about it especially because fiance and I have decided to raise our children in his religion but I’m afraid I might feel left out. I dont think I could ever give up Christmas time after so many years. Anyone else have a similar situation?
Post # 3
*sigh* you’re lucky though. in some Islamic countries, one in particular, it is in the Constitution of that country for a non-Muslim to convert to Islam if they marry a Muslim.
I completely believe that what religion someone wants to follow is completely up to them, in this case, completely up to you. other people really should stop being so rude about it. I also don’t think that just because your husband and your children will be Muslim, doesn’t mean that they can’t and shouldn’t accept YOUR religion and celebrate Christmas with you … especially since you have obviously accepted your husband’s religion willingly.
Post # 4
Don’t listen to anybody. I get so tired of people judging all the time when it comes to religion – it’s a personal choice!
Post # 5
This is not quite the same as your situation.
My mother is a Buddhist and my father is a Catholic. My parents never converted and as a family we celebrate both Christian (not essentially Catholic) and Buddhist festivities and the family never said anything negative about it.
What religion am I? Well after going to Quaker and Church of England schools all my life I have to admit I lean more towards these beliefs. It’s a mess I know. My FI isn’t religious at all but is from a “Catholic” family and they were desperately trying to get me to convert to Catholism. I have no idea why…they don’t go to Church, know anything to do with Scripture etc, these are the type of people that only go to Church for Weddings, baptisms, communions and funerals. I don’t know why it was such a big deal to them when they aren’t religious, so I put my foot down and said no because it is not who I am. They need to respect that. My FI supports my decision.
Post # 6
I think it is a personal choice and in Islam, you may not convert unless you believe in it with your whole heart, which you do not. In any event, a Muslim man is technically allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman, as long as she believes in God in some capacity, either as a Christian or a Jew, so that works. I would ignore what people say about your FI’s religion as they are simply ignorant. There are bad apples in every religion and they are not reflective of the entire group of followers. I’m glad you’ve had the talk about your children being raised in his faith as that’s always a contentious topic and I never understood people who would wait until kids are in the picture to argue about it. I wouldn’t worry about being “left out” persay as you will have ample opportunity to learn about his religion and beliefs, assuming you are open and willing. You can learn as the kids learn.
As far as Christmas is concerned, what about it do you love the most? I’m assuming it’s not “THE PRESENTS!”. If it’s the spirit of giving back to others or spending time with your family, then you can still celebrate that aspect. You can still celebrate the fact that it is Jesus’ birthday as he still exists in Islam. It’s just that their view of him is somewhat different.
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice bees!! 🙂 Your words definetly made me feel a bit better
Post # 8
Well…..no, I do not intend to convert. He is Muslim, I was raised Lutheran and my grandmother Jewish. I don’t practice either and don’t really have a belief in God, but my SO accepts me as I am anyway. I told him I do reserve the right to convert, but it probably won’t happen. I do respect his religion and the practice of it, we are having a nika ceremony in Virgina first and then a few months later having a hand fasting in Texas.
Post # 9
i am christain and my bf is sikh. he doesn’t practice, but i am very religious. i am hoping that over time, he will convert to christainity. i want to raise our future kids as christains too.
Post # 10
I’m Catholic and my FI is Protestant/Agnostic. He will not be converting, much to my mom’s disappointment. Lol. But we will be getting married in my church and our kid will be raised Catholic.
Post # 11
We’re a muslim/catholic couple. We’ve been married for 2 years now. Neither one of us is a very seriously practicing religious folk. So we happily celebrate christmass. If we have kids they will be raised in a faith based on both our religions. If your fiancee was a strict muslim you would have to convert as muslim religion is pretty strict on marrying non-muslims. We didn’t care neither should you. We’re very happy but honestly if one of us was a strict religious type, this marriage would have failed. So more than the religion it’s about how the two of you are together and how you feel about it.
Post # 12
I am christian(Anglican) and my fiance is muslim. He is not strict either and I do get the same reactions as you. People also ask the same dumb questions and say that they fear for my safety etc as he will try to dominate me and control me etc.
I do not think I will convert as I do not agree with some of the principles and never will, one of them being the option of having other wives under any circumstances. He already knows how I feel and he is fine with my not converting.
I did however agree that I would rasie our children in his faith, which is a big choice for me but marriage is about compromise. I will even give up pork for him and I love my spare ribs.
My mom is also a bit skeptical as well about the union but she does accept him and give us her blessing.
We also still plan to celebrate christsmas and I will celebrate his festivals with him too.
Marriage is about compromise, understanding, love and great communication. make sure you express all of your concerns with him before you say I DO, so that he knows how you feel.
WHat I would say to you is to ignore the opnions of others, thats what I do.
Post # 13
I’m glad to see there are other’s in the same boat here! BF and I are far from engaged, but we’ve talked pretty seriously about religion, raising kids, etc.
He’s Muslim, but not a scrict Muslim. I’m agnostic but more leaning towards believing in God. I don’t believe in organized religion though. I was raised agnostic so that’s all I’ve ever known.
I told him very early on that I would not convert. I made it clear that it wasn’t an Islamphobic thing but that I was against adopting the religion of any dude, be him Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jewish…I also said that one of my major problems with organized religion is the teaching that other people beliefs are wrong (and sometime even that they will go to Hell for those beliefs) and I want my kids to get to decide for themselves. He says his kids don’t have to be raised Muslim but he wants them to be raised to believe in God. I’m fine with that.
I worry a bit about how his parents will take it but they have a whole bunch of other grandkids to pin their hopes and dreams on. Plus, I’m not the first Godless foreigner he’s date so they are probably expecting this. I also get all sorts of ZOMG he will beat you and control you comments, but I hope that when people meet him they realize what a big teddy bear he is. It sucks to have him judged immediately though before they even know him.
Post # 14
@worldtraveler: I’m glad others are in the same boat with me as well!!! It hasnt been very difficult for me and him considering he has never asked me to convert and I really dont plan too.
Post # 15
@NadzB: I get the same gasp looks when I tell people he is muslim and it drives me crazy. It’s jsut because people arent educated and just look at the stuff they see and hear on the media. My mom is the same that she will give us her blessing but I know she is a bit upset I’m not having a Catholic wedding.
Post # 16
@sweetchiquita12: I am in a similar situation and i know people as well who have been. I was raised Muslim and my FI Pentacostal. It has not become an issue for us since in our adult lives we have strayed from our parents heavily religious ideals we faced growing up. I will say that if you are raising your children Muslim, you should begin to become familiar with thereligion. What most people don’t get about Islam is that it is a 24-7 lifestyle thing. It is a religions that grounds and governs your life and everyday choices. That being said, i feel its important to be a part of something that your husband and children will be as it will further unite your family 🙂