Any ladies find true love and a partner after 30 or a long period of singledom?

posted 2 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 31
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Colorado

Met my fiancé at 31 (he was 33) on OK Cupid after doing the online thing on and off for years. My last serious relationship before him ended when I was 27. Timing is everything- my fiancé and I chatted briefly on another online dating site a year and a half before we finally met, but never met up. We were both in terrible places emotionally and professionally at the time, and I don’t think it would have worked out. There is hope- I promise!

Post # 32
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2021 - Australia

Add me to the chorus! I was very wary when I met my fiance at 32. I’d not had what I’d call a ‘proper’ relationship for at least 5-10 years, I’d say. I was so used to horrible online coffee dates, endless text messages with no meetings, creepy, inappropriate sexts from strangers, ghosting, breadcrumbing, you name it, I experienced it. I was exhausted and basically planned to give up dating altogether, buy a cat and call it a day. I even got cat allergy shots since I’m allergic!

But then I met my partner by chance, and despite my reservations, I agreed to a date. I kept waiting for him to be a jerk, and he just… wasn’t. At all. I am not sure whether we would have been ready if we’d met much earlier. I’m so grateful for him, moreso after the experiences I had in those years. I like to think I’d have recognised how lucky I was to find him even without those experiences, but who can say? Maybe I wouldn’t appreciate him the way I do. He is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened to me and I adore him. I wish that for you. I hope these stories give you hope, and the belief that it really could happen at any moment. It can! 

Post # 33
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

View original reply
@mrsssb:  i met my fiance on bumble too! my best friend also met her serious boyfriend on bumble…a lot of ppl assume the apps are just to get laid but there are actually a lot of guys serious about finding someone on them! (and i felt comfortable with bumble since women make first move) 

Post # 34
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2021

I met my fiance on Match after being divorced for 8 years and being in a couple of relationships that just weren’t right for me. I kept thinking he was too sincere, honest and just plain decent to be real. I also kept waiting for him to turn into a jerk but he didn’t. One thing that helped me was realizing I was dating the same type of guy and always ending up disappointed. I decided to try dating someone completely different. When I made that decision is when I met my fiance. Best wishes to you –

Post # 35
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2021

I met my fiance online at age 36. I’m now 39 and we are getting married in a couple of months. I had decided to stop dating and concentrate on growing my business, but forgot to delete my profile and somehow, he found me!

Post # 36
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2020

Love!

Post # 37
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee

My husband and I started dating when I about 30, after I had been single for something like 4 years. We got married when I was 35, and just welcome our first child when I was 38 (he’s a year younger.) I don’t think either one of us would have been ready to be the right person for each other if we had started dating earlier. I feel so lucky we got together when we did– I couldn’t imagne a better person!

Post # 38
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Not QUITE 30, but I met my guy a few days after my 29th birthday (after a couple weeks of talking through a dating app) and now I turn 32 in a week and we are getting married in May!

My experiences were super different from yours – I was with someone 23-25 and then 25-28; the first was a HORRIBLE fit but I was so new to everything I had no idea what I was doing. For the second, there was a better connection but still a bad fit, and I was a little too keen on making it work. Had blinders on to the red flags and the nagging feeling in my gut. Ultimately after being absolutely devastated for a bit after that ended, I felt super relieved.

Because of that, I kept my standards better when perusing the online dating world (doesn’t smoke, fully employed, no drugs, you know, super picky stuff haha) and really tried to look for someone SOLID, since I’d decided that’s what I wanted. No broken man to ‘fix’. Someone who was stable and ACTUALLY ready to settle down with a partner.

My fiance is kind of boring sometimes, bit of a content homebody, would be happy eating fast food every day, and a total worrywart. I can’t wait to marry him. (I also paid attention to other things of course like his relationship with his family, his work ethic, how he manages his money, is he respectful to me, etc). He’s a goof and a really good guy, and we have navigated COVID and even buying a house together.

It’s just… so hard though. My friends are amazing people and seem to be ‘forever alone’. One has had like 1 adult relationship since like 9th grade but it never got serious and doesn’t seem to truly get THAT interested in anyone she meets so it never goes past like 3 dates, the other has tried a lot but the closest she came was about 9 months with my brother, and we all saw that was doomed to fail due to being in very different places in life at the time. I want so badly for them (at least the second friend) to meet a great guy. I know she really wants a partner in life.

And you never know – it could happen when you least expect it! For me, I don’t get out much, I feel awkward, and I’m super comfortable being online so this route worked fine for me.

Post # 39
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I had a series of relationships in my 20s. When I was 29, I landed a high paying job that required gruelling shift work and sometimes weekends. It just about made it impossible to date. But I realized that I didn’t actually need or want a partner at the time. I started dating my husband when I was 39 after putting myself out there on a dating app. I figured I was almost 40 and after 10 years solo, I might enjoy some company. We were married last October (I’m 45). I was able to quit my job and now I work from home. 

Post # 40
Member
790 posts
Busy bee

I met my husband at 33, married just before I turned 35, and we are now TTC at 36. You’re still young!

Post # 41
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

There is nothing magical about 30. I remember freaking out a bit about everything I hadn’t done yet when I reached that milestone, and it really was ridiculous, because 30 is still a BABY by most standards. Still, that damn number carries so much freakin’ baggage with it. You have been through A LOT so far in your life, I think concentrating on your own happiness is the smartest thing you could possibly do right now. 

On the There Is Still Hope front, I’m a total freak who’s still with the boy she met at nineteen, so my personal perspective won’t help you, but I’m surrounded by women who met their partners after age thirty (and a few who met them well after forty!). These women aren’t unicorns, where I live it’s actually far more common than getting hitched at twenty-five. The only people who will tell you that finding love after thirty is borderline impossible for a woman are those idiots on the internet who have turned Barney Stinson’s philosophy about women from How I Met Your Mother into religious doctrine. 

Keep being your awesome self :). 

Post # 42
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

Met my now almost fiancé at 32 after a divorce. I am now almost 35. We met online. 

Post # 43
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee

I broke up with my first long term boyfriend at 23 (19-23), I lived abroad for a year in Europe, went to law school, and then started looking to date. I met my current boyfriend at 30 (we’re both 32 now). Other than a few 3-4 month casual guys I was effectively single for 7 years. I’m pretty career focused and probably a niche personality, I also think I have quite high standards. Anyways, things could go terribly wrong I suppose, but we’re planning to get engaged this fall and then married next summer (COVID restrictions dependent). We met on Bumble.

I also don’t think not having a serious boyfriend for two years is a very long time. It gives you some time to work on yourself, and figure out what you need. Otherwise you run the risk of relationship hopping.

Post # 44
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

The statistics show that the vast majority do find someone.  Particularly for women, as we can see from our bees, it usually happens sooner rather than later (not necessarily so for men, which speaks to the advantage women have in dating until late middle age).  It’s not the case for everyone, and some people do have difficulty finding their match.  For those of you who are frustrated, know that the odds are on your side.  It may take longer than you would ideally like, but chances are very high it will happen.

I am one of the few who I genuinely believe does not have a match.  I am prepared to be alone for the rest of my life.  I have heard it all, from “it happens when you least expect it”, to “it happens when you aren’t looking”, “you have to love yourself first”, and “you have to have confidence”.  When I was younger, I lacked confidence, but I have it now.  Yet nothing has changed.  Now in my early 40s, I’m starting to come to terms with it.  Enough of my life has gone by, I have a large enough sample size.  It also hurts that I don’t have the best family relationships either, and friends have been hard to come by as I’ve gotten older.  I have been filling in my life in other ways, but it only goes so far.

What I’m trying to say is…you can only be yourself, put yourself out there as best you can, and it will happen when it’s meant to.

Post # 45
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I met my dream man when I was 50, 4 years after a 20 year marriage.  I got my motorcycle licence, and bought a Harley.  I met him at a motorcycle event.  We’ve been married 9 years.  We are deeply in love, and I didn’t think this kind of love was real.   We were completely complete, before we met, so we were ready.

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