(Closed) Any ladies out there that got married legally first (like at town hall)

posted 6 years ago in Encore
  • poll: Legally married
    We are having a ceremony and reception. : (10 votes)
    37 %
    We are having a reception only. : (0 votes)
    We are having a vow renewal. : (2 votes)
    7 %
    I am happy about my choice. : (12 votes)
    44 %
    I am not happy about my choice. : (0 votes)
    I have mixed emotions or my partner and I have different opinion about it. : (1 votes)
    4 %
    When people say x,y, z about it I tell them to screw off. : (1 votes)
    4 %
    When people say x,y,z about it I tell them off. : (1 votes)
    4 %
    When people say x, y, z about it I get upset. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Hi! I had a similar experience. My Fiance (or should I say husband) and I live in the US, but we are from a different country. We got legally married in the US in May. We had a small ceremony on the beach (we live in Miami). And both our parents came. We had around 30 guests. Now we are planning our big catholic wedding for December in our home country, where our families and guests will attend (we have 250 guests). I’m having a great time planning the wedding and I’m not worried at all that we are already legally married.

    In our country it’s very common to get legally married first and then have the religious ceremony. Both ceremonies are usually a couple days apart. In our case they will be about 7 month apart. But who cares!

    You should enjoy your moment. It will be special no matter what.

    Have fun planning!!!


    Post # 4
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    While we’re still debating doing it, I don’t see a problem with it. Mostly because I feel like I want to be married legally and spiritually, and I don’t think those things have to happen at the same time (although it can, clearly). I can’t speak for anyone else’s reasons for doing it/feeling okay with it. 

    I don’t know if we’re actually going to get married before the actual day just to get rid of the legal aspect (rules in VA are preventing/creating more work than we feel like dealing with my home Pastor from marrying us b/c he’s out of state), or have a smaller, immediate family only wedding the morning of our wedding with my/our Pastor and our “real” intimate vows, and then do the afternoon wedding with a legally VA recognized officiant for everyone else. That means I get my private wedding surrounded only by our family, and the guy gets a big wedding with all of our friends/family. We’ve gotten some push back on having 2 ceremonies, but I always tell people a)If you’re invited & it bothers you, please don’t participate-we’ll both be happy or b) you’re not invited to anything, so I’m not sure why you think I care about your opinion. Tends to end the conversation on the subject pretty definitively. 


    Post # 5
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    We did and we’re happy with our choice and so are our families and friends. We had our legal ceremony on leap day this year so every year that isn’t a leap year we’ll celebrate our anniversary on our September date. On leap years we plan to celebrate on leap day and do something big. 🙂 The second ceremony will be our religious one and is really more for our families than it is for us. It’s a small ceremony and reception – only 40 people. But being legally wed first hasn’t taken any excitement out of it for us. If anything it’s made us stress less about the September ceremony because we were able to have our cheap, drama and stress free, private ceremony already. There’s no pressure to have a perfect ceremony and perfect day next month because we’re already married.

    Good luck with everything!

    Post # 7
    11 posts
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We did this! Our legal marriage was about 14 months before our wedding celebration with family and friends (ceremony anreception/party). We chose the legal route first for financial/insurance reasons and to make sure my grandmother from out of the country would at least be there for that day should anything happen where she couldn’t travel back for the wedding day (she made it for that too though!)

    I fully embraced and enjoyed the planning process and you should too! Society dictates too much what is “right” and “wrong”… Your wedding should be about what you two want and think is right for you. We told everyone as part of the save the date so they all knew. We did save the ring exchange and writing personal vows to each other for our wedding celebration. But we has started caling each other husband and wife after the legal marriage. We received  many compliments that our wedding was extremely special and everyone there was so happy that they were invited to share in that day with us. 

    My hudband’s dad was our “master of ceremonies” since he was the only parent not at the legal marriage. And we asked each of our moms (my dad is not in the picture) to say something during the ceremony portion. It was nice to really create something that reflected us and by not having to do any legal stuff on the wedding day we were able to do just that. My vows started with “I’m honored to have called you my husband for over a year now…”

    We’re going to celebrate the legal date mainly but I’ll do something little for the celebration wedding day tmakers the day where our family and friends were there to support us and our path through mawedding to our wedding.

    Good luck and enjoy planning!

    Post # 8
    2009 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I posted something similar but more directed at eloping out f the country and having a legal civil ceremony in the US.

    I’m tuning in to see everyone’s thoughts.

    Post # 9
    2777 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We did this, will have the ceremony next year for family.  We are excited about it, and the whole family knows and is pitching in to help with little things.  

    The topic ‘Any ladies out there that got married legally first (like at town hall)’ is closed to new replies.

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