Any LAWYERS OUT THERE?? Or anyone that can help?

posted 8 years ago in Legal
Post # 77
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, are you ever being rude to people who are just trying to help you. And no, you cannot terminate the father’s parental rights just because you want to when he is paying child support, even if he hasn’t seen him in almost a year. That’s not how it works. You copy and pasted saying you had him about a part where it says it’s terminated if the parent doesn’t attempt to maintain a relationship, but that only applies if the child is in the custody of protective services.

If you post things on a public internet message board, you will almost without a doubt get some advice you don’t agree with. That’s no reason to be so nasty to people who gave good solid advice – and they are right, by keeping your child away from a member of his dad’s family who wants to be there for him, you are only hurting him, not helping. Honestly, it’s a bit selfish.

Post # 79
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

When I first started pushing for supervised visits, custody changes (termination), it wasn’t always easy to hear a lawyer suggest I was fighting a losing battle.  Lawyers will give the best pratical application of the law without the emotional side of it (not saying they don’t feel for us, but work and personal life are two different things)… the lawyer I hired actually tried to talk me out of it, at first.  She had to be sure I knew what I was getting into and how much it would cost me.  I’m absolutely positive every one of the lawyers (even the one I disagreed with) sympathizes with you as a mother.  It’s easy to misread someone’s intentions on sites like these, but I think we can find resolution in calmer moments.  Don’t give up.  And know your battle.  Educate yourself and do what you believe is right by your son…

ETA: Take a deep breath and try to calm down… there’s lots of good advice and perspectives on here… typing when you’re so upset never works out well…

Post # 80
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

@luvalways86: I commented on this post because as PP has said, it’s public message board.  Nobody is restricted from reading and commenting 2 years down the line if it seems like it is necessary. 

Like I said, ask that the post be closed if you don’t want any more comments.  Until then, consider it fair game.

And I’m not speaking for anyone’s comments.  I can comment on my own thanks.

Also, I made no comment on your lawyer hiring decisions so I don’t know if that statement is directed at me or not.  If it is, I have no idea why. 

Lastly, I hope you are upset about your situation and not this message board.  It’s not that serious.

Post # 82
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

C’mon, y’all… let’s stop. 

heather25 (and other lawyer bees) are a great source of legal info but this is way too emotional to share anything… let’s stop and revisit it later.

Post # 83
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

@luvalways86:  Flagging is the appropriate thing to do.  Please read the sticky notes at the top of the boards section.  I sincerely hope that you, your lil man, and your big man have continued safety and happiness.  I hope that thing resolve with your ex to your liking.  I will not comment any more on this thread because it is pointless.

Post # 84
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@luvalways86: Members are flagging because they feel that some of your posts have been personal attacks.  Please read our commenting policy about personal attacks.  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/new-commenting-policies 

I need to go let my dog out but I’ll be back to read over this thread to see if there are any more violations to our commenting policy done by you or by anyone else.

 

Post # 85
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

in many states, regular child support is considered a form of communication. I also think that the fact that he does have visitation (supervised or not) will put you at a disadvantage when asking the COURT to terminate. Being a bad parent, or being an asshat doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to do, at least, minimal parenting. Now, this doesn’t stop you from asking him to terminate, and maybe even begging him-but I have serious doubts about you getting a court to grant termination.

I speak from experience as a foster to adopt parent, and a sole custody parent. In all 3 of our foster to adopt cases the judge would not order termination in spite of a clear and present danger to the child if returned to the bio parent. The parents had to willfully terminate, and then be told by a judge what that would mean. All three times we feared they would back out because the judge (2 different judges actually) seemed pretty intent on talking them out of it. In my current, non-emotional state, I see that they were just doing their job, but when I was emotional and afraid I felt like they were actually trying to talk them out of it.

Anyway-short of him signing willful termination I would not sink my money into a case that could last years and doesn’t have a great chance of success.

Post # 86
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

OP has requested the thread closed/ deleted.

Post # 87
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Per request of the OP, this thread will be closed.

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