Post # 1
Well, ladies, my wedding day will be here in a few short weeks, and the one tiny, creeping worry I’ve had during the planning has started to grow in my consciousness. We will marry (spiritually) in Virginia, to be followed two days later with a legal ceremony in DC. We have chosen a public park for our ceremony, and while I don’t cerebrally think anyone would do anything to disrupt the proceedings, part of me worries that anyone could walk past and say or do something to make our day less than romantic. I am trying not to harp on it in my mind…but what if it happens? We’re not exactly in the cradle of ignorance, but VA is far from enlightened in matters of equality.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heritage Square Museum
I totally shared your fear on this one and we got married in LA! I think it’s totally understandable- it’s a layer of uncomfortable that most people don’t have to deal with, and it’s a bummer to think about peeps being mean to you on your wedding day. Ick.
But I hope/think you’ll be flying so high on your wedding day that you’ll be able to ignore any unwanted sharing. AND I hope/cross my fingers that peeps have better manners than that.
While we were taking our pictures (just the two of us) at our historical museum site, the museum was still open and there were a few tours that looked more than a little surprised to see kissy kissy lesbians in wedding dresses! I like to think we gave them something a little more exciting to talk about later, than the historic homes! And despite a few surprised looking mid westerners, there were no rude comments or anything!
Luck & Love!
Post # 4
Is the public park for the Virginia wedding or the DC one? If it’s DC, I wouldn’t worry at all. I’ve been with my wife for ten years now, and she is not good at concealing her feelings about me in any circumstances, but we have yet to receive a single negative comment.
In Virginia, a lot depends on where you are. Northern Virginia is pretty much like DC, but some of the more rural areas of Virginia are a whole different story. However, my guess is that without advance notice of your wedding, most people who happen by will quickly realize they are outnumbered, and will at most express their hostility by just leaving quickly.
Post # 5
@mundaetraversa: I think you will be okay in Richmond unless you’re in the boonies outskirts type areas. Richmond is pretty diverse. 🙂
Post # 6
I’m straight, but I will add this: I’ve heard from a lot of women that they’re totally unaware of things around them on their wedding day. Have you been following the blog long? Look up Mrs. Swan’s recaps – she got married outdoors and they had dozens of onlookers standing around, taking pictures, etc. and she didn’t even know they were there until she saw photos of the wedding afterward. I’ve heard several board bees who got married outdoors say the same thing – one only heard passers by yell things like “Kiss her!” or “Don’t do it!” when they saw the video after the fact, etc.
I agree that it’s a lot less likely to happen in/near DC than some places, but even if something does happen, there’s also a good chance that you’ll be so wrapped up in the experience of having a wedding + your overwhelming love for your fiancee that you won’t notice/hear/see it at all.
Post # 7
Two of our male friends recently got married at a busy public park in Council Bluffs, IA. There were no disruptions during the ceremony, and afterward it seemed like the whole park stopped and applauded for them. It was really sweet, and from the heart of the mid-west.
Post # 8
@tksjewelry: I wish I could ‘like’ this post. That gave me goosebumps.
Post # 9
@ceamoste: Thanks, me too, we have been to three such weddings lately and all with awesome responses. We are going to a reception next weekend in Omaha that has over three hundred attending. I am so happy to see the love and support that all our friends have received. If attitudes can change here, they can change anywhere.
Post # 10
Sorry, I realized after the fact that I was totally unclear. I am worried about our Virginia ceremony. We live, and will have our reception, in Richmond City – but the ceremony is in Chesterfield (much more of a rural setting – it’s gorgeous!). It makes me feel better to hear your thoughts about people’s responses, our own attitudes on the day of our wedding, and your experiences at other queer ceremonies. I’m not flipping out or anything (at least, not about this. About getting the favors done in time…yes), but I don’t want to bother my bride with worries that might upset her. Thanks for being the support I need, bees!
Post # 11
where are you having your ceremony? i live in richmond too and we’re looking at forest hill park for ours. trying to find good outdoor locations has been such a hassle.
Post # 12
We live very close to Forest Hill Park! We go to Crossroads at least three times a week. We thought about having ours there, but we decided there were too many dogs off leash for me to feel comfortable in my white dress. We ended up choosing Pocahontas State Park – a little bigger, and so gorgeous! Where else have you considered?
Post # 13
@mundaetraversa: we thought libbie hill park but it had no enclosed area, i’d have to just appear out of thin air and i figured a magic act to cost too much $$$, and byrd house at the roundhouse which host AA meetings.. AA to me means LOTS of cigarette butts. Plus, we’re buying a house right in forest hill so i figured i’d get to drive by it lots and get those warm and fuzzys.
i work right near pocahantas park at a hair salon, as far as your concern im sure you’ll be fine. people just seem to stare and gawk more than they actually have the nerve to say anything. but! bank on the fact inbred retards probably don’t leave their house much besides the county fair and going to buy more biscuits and mashed potatoes.
Post # 14
Is there someone you can designate to be “security” and keep peeping toms or random bystanders at a distance from the ceremony?
Post # 15
I applaud you for being who you are! No matter what might happen dont let it ruin your special day! You probably wont even notice anything but your fiance anyway!