(Closed) Any newlyweds feel pressured to get preggo?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Any newlyweds feeling the pressure or being asked all the time....are you pregnant?
    Yes, I am "really" feeling the pressure! : (17 votes)
    18 %
    Somewhat, but it doesn't bother me : (47 votes)
    51 %
    Never, they know better than ask me... No Kids Allowed : (17 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, but all in good fun. : (11 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Yep, I have made it perfectly clear that we are not trying anytime soon but it hasn’t stopped anyone. The holidays were the worst. Mother-In-Law was whining to my Darling Husband that she wouldn’t live to see her grandchildren get married.

    ETA: Didn’t really answer the question. I feel no pressure to get pregnant just because my ovaries all of a sudden seem like an appopriate talking point to people. We are the only people who will be deciding if/when to have kids.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m not feeling pressured, per se, but we do have a lot of people ask about it. My Mother-In-Law really DOESNT want us to have kids yet, cause she thinks we are too young or something, but other members of her family DO want us to have kids. It’s confusing to keep up with everyone’s opinions when they ask – especially because last Xmas I was ill and missed the family get-together, sparking speculation on my status. It’s like now there’s nothing left for them to do but wait for us to have kids, which is kind of crazy to me because we’re going through so many other changes – potential grad school, which means potential HUGE move, etc – why are they concentrating only on offspring?

    My own family is very clear that it won’t be happening for a long time and they’re ok with it, so that’s kind of a relief.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Yes, it happened to us, too.  Family and friends were on pregnancy watch because we were “the next in line” to get pregnant. MIL has been very good about it, though.  My friends let it go after some of them accidently got pregnant and there are now enough baby showers, etc, so we don’t have to “fill the void” anymore.

    We had one person (mother of a friend) unsolicited lecturing us that we should get on it and not waste any more time, because we’re getting too old and having only one child is unacceptable. I thought that was really uncalled for and rude.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    No pressure really, just a lot of questions. Everyone assumes that directly after marriage comes baby but neither of us are anywhere close to ready for that yet. My Brother-In-Law & SIL just had a baby 6 months ago so as far as DHs side is concerned, they’re good for a while. I’m an only child and my mom is well aware that babies are not in the cards for us right now and she’s totally supportive of that.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I think people usually just ask to make small talk and it isn’t really meant to “presure” couples. After we got married people asked, but once you say not for a while people usually drop it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I’m not being pressured about it at all, BUT I think I would be if my SIL on DH’s side wasn’t super vocal about wanting kids soon, and my mother is not pressuring me because she knows our life is really not set up for that right now (just bought a flat that would be too small, haven’t found a job yet, etc)

    Though, my mom was pressuring my brother’s girlfriend about marriage and kids the last couple years of their relationship, to the point of getting overly attached to their dog, her granddog.  This is continuing even after they have broken up.

    Which is all a relief for us, because we’re nowhere near even knowing if we even want kids.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have been asked about it a few times but only by people that don’t know us very well.  We both have raised our kids and I just tell them that I am 40 and this baby factory is closed for business.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    Oh yeah. Holidays were fun…..Everyone asking when/where/what position the baby will be conceived in….ok, maybe not the last one.

    At least my Brother-In-Law & SIL just had their first baby, which I thought would take the pressure off. But at her shower, a random relative of hers (who I had never met and don’t know who she is) told me I needed to ‘eat more’ so ‘you can be the next one!’………um, what? I’m not even close to being too skinny, so I just stared and walked away.

    And who is this biotch asking if you’re pregnant because you ‘have a pudge’? How rude!

    Post # 12
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    @ieatunicorns:  then tell my in-laws to drop it! we’ve made it clear that it’s not for several years but they still seem to think if they mention it enough, that we’ll magically change our minds and get pregnant just like that.

    Mother-In-Law has even commented that ‘you don’t need to wait as long as BIL/SIL did’….apparently waiting 6 years was not ok….if that’s not pressure, I don’t know what is!

     

    My sex life was not up for discussion before marriage, and it will stay that way after marriage!

    Post # 13
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I actually like getting asked about when we’re getting pregnant. We’re not trying any time soon though. My Mother-In-Law specifically stared at my stomach last time I was there though. It was pretty obvious I thought that she was seeing if I was pregnant.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Definitely! My Mother-In-Law desperately wants me to be pregnant, and my grandfather likes to ask whenever I see him. Last time I saw him, he said that I was looking a little thick around the middle, wink wink nudge nudge. I told him no, I was just getting fat, but I’d keep him updated on my uterus when the time came. Gotta love when the elderly lose the filter, LOL! I reacted a bit offhand which I feel a bit bad about, but my grandfather also has a habit of bugging women about their weight even after being told a million times that it’s a good way to end up getting in trouble, LOL!

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