(Closed) ANY NIGERIAN BRIDES OUT HERE??

posted 7 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well, I’m no Afrcian bride (I’m an Asian bride) but guess I have similar situation ๐Ÿ˜€ In the country where I grew up (Indonesia) regular weddings have 500+ guests and the whole big fat family is planning the wedding instead of the bride and the groom. This was NEARLY happening to me, until I met the guy I’m getting married with now. He’s a Croatian origin so I have the reason to my whole fam that I have to incoorporate his culture and tradition Laughing Long story short, my wedding ceremony will be limited to only 50 guests, but the reception will be around 300 guests (yes, 250 of them are not invited to the ceremony, just to reception, which is very common down here). To reduce the cost, we are having buffet reception. Plus, because we’re mixing the culture, my fam don’t really have the whole say anymore, it’s pure my FI’s and my way. However, the 300 guests cannot be reduced still.. My ORIGINAL guests are around a third, the rest being big fat fam and neighbors and colleagues of my inner fam etc. which HAS TO BE invited in the culture down here.

Post # 4
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 

I am Tanzanian, but my FH is Nigerian.. TRUST me I can totally relate to you! Not only am i experiencing some culture clashes between West African and East African traditions, I also feel that my wedding plans have been completly hijacked sometimes! Its def the African way to have 3+ day wedding celebrations, and invite EVERYONE. I would like to keep my list at around 250 MAX, I want a Western Wedding Ceremony (white dress, walked down the aisle by my daddy), and an African influenced wedding reception. We’re getting married on August 3rd, which will be our 5th dating anniversary. This will be on a Friday, and already that has caused some issues… but regardles I’m counting my blessings, staying positive and keeping my eye on my Ultimate priority– though I may not have the wedding of MY dreams, I will marry the MAN of my dreams..and to me thats worth some compromise!

Post # 6
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@HisWifey2012: There are quite a few Nigerian/West African brides on the bee!

I, myself, am one and my Fiance is Nigerian (although I’m Igbo and he is Yoruba, talk about tribal culture clashes).

You can also check in on brooklynrocks, aubergold, plaintains who are Nigerian/West African brides.

As for me, I’m rounding out as I’ve already had my traditional engagement/wedding (all because my mother just HAD to do something in the spring. Not to mention no consideration was given to the fact that his parents wouldn’t be able to fly in from Nigeria TWICE in one year for 2 separate events so they’re only able to come to the Western wedding, but I digress).

My Fiance and I have had to fight tooth and nail for EVERY single thing in regards to the Western wedding, although we’re footing the bill entirely. We originally wanted a destination wedding but my mom just couldn’t have that (“What about all my friends?”). It’s gotten to the point that I haven’t involved my mother AT ALL in the preparations because of her lack of support and just plain out craziness.

Good luck with planning!!! There are a few who understand…..

Post # 8
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not Nigerian, but… I wanted to send big hugs to you ladies for not going postal on your parents! ๐Ÿ™‚  You ladies must have the patience of the saints!

Post # 10
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@memzy08 what a crazy coincidence! Goodluck with al of your planning, and know you got  bee-friends ๐Ÿ˜‰ on here if you just wanna vent.

 

@YSqueen we considered a destination wedding as well. We relly want a small intimate get together with ONLY the closest family and friends.. but that idea was eliminated QUICK!

 

@Ryna thanks! and @ ditaaaaa congrats on being able to compromise. Im still struggling with finding the balance between compromise and surrendering all control. haha

Post # 11
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Nigerian bride here but I’m not going the traditional african route. I am actually the “rebellious one” since I decided to have a destination wedding without 200+ people that I don’t care for lol. My sister was married two years ago and had a big wedding so at least my mom can relax since she already had that. My mom was not having it at first but once she saw there was no changing it she eventually came around. My fiance is American so at least I didn’t have to fight with my side as well as his. We are having an intimate 30ppl destination wedding in Puerto Rico and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I can definitely relate though. Good luck!!! (you’ll need A LOT of it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

not a nigerian bride, but a bride having a nigerian influenced weddingLaughing Fiance is igbo nigerian/1st generation american & i am american of northern european decent.  Future Father-In-Law came back from nigeria recently where he had all of our outfits made, i just got mine last night.  we have definately met with some resistance as far as having the wedding our way, but it’s come a long way! while many in his family would have prefered for us to have the multiple day affair with 500+ ppl you’re talking about, we’ve decided that it isn’t feasible for us to do here (221 invited) & will be having an all day/night celebration that will incorporate as much of both traditions as possible.  when we travel to nigeria, we will have another celebration there & maybe then they can have everyone there.

i’ve been trying to learn as much as i can about nigerian weddings, so i look forward to hearing more about yours!  good luck with your mom!  Fiance is the oldest son & that has been a bit of a challenge, so i can only imagine as the oldest & only daughter you’d have a lot of pressure put on you.

Post # 15
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oooooh, what a treat I love seeing Nigerian brides on the boards! My wedding was absolutely perfect, and I have my slideshow from propics but I am waiting for the disc with all the images. Once I get that, I will do a proper recap since it is pretty rare to see Nigerian brides recapping anything on the Bee.

I basically went through similar arguments with my family but in the end I won because none of us can afford to have 1000 people at a wedding in Connecticut/NYC. In the end, instead of having a full on traditional wedding, we wore traditional outfits at our rehearsal dinner and then had a gorgeous wedding with 120 guests! It helps to have it in an obscure location like Mystic, CT. In the end, it was a lot easier for me because my husband is American (half-Asian) and so we were able to persuade my family to make the wedding a bit more accessible for everyone.

Here is one picture from the day, nothing particularly Nigerian about it but it is one of the few that I have, so as soon as I have more recaps shall commence!

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