Prettysmile40 : I’m so sorry, trust me when I tell you I feel your pain completely! My almost 6mo is a terrible sleeper… literally up every 2-3 hours basically every night. Only naps sporadically and it seems like we find something that works and then he changes his mind on if he likes it.
I’ve tried CIO but I think he is too young or too stubborn– he will cry the house down and I’ll break down before he ever gives up. The kid is relentless when it comes to how long and how loud he will cry.
What has worked for me (and you can totally trash this advice because like I said, my kid doesn’t sleep)… but when I see “breakthroughs” with him is during nap times. I know they say not to fuck with naps and to do your sleep training at night but that doesn’t work for me. I’m too emotionally, mentally and physically drained at night to really stick with something so I started recently really focusing on some of the Ferber methods during day naps.
I’ll do all the things, you know the things:
- quiet room
- white noise
- sleep sack/ swaddle/ merlin suit (this is what we’re currently using)
- put down drowsy, but awake.
- don’t nurse to sleep if you can help it
Then we get about 20m in and he wakes up. So I let him cry for a few minutes and then go in and shush, calm… but not pick him up from his crib. It’s 50/50 on if it works or if it pisses him off, just being honest. But the more I’ve done it, the easier it’s gotten for him to adjust to that tactic. Now when he sees me peep over the crib, he knows I’m there but I might not pick him up and he’ll drift off to sleep again. Now I might have to do this 30,000 times in one nap session, but it has helped him get used to not being picked up immediately. The success rate has been lukewarm so far, but its better than not working at all.
Other than that tactic, no advice. Just solidarity that it’s fucking hard. I totally understand the mind fog that sets in and how you cringe in the middle on the night hearing your kid whimper because you know what that means: someone has to get up. I’m told it gets better lol, so I’m hanging on to that hope with all I’ve got! My sons pedi recommended keeping it as consistent as possible, even when it feels like things are going to shit, just try to keep it consistent (yes I took my son to the doctor for a check up because he literally would not sleep, at all). So every night rain or shine or new sleep environment due to travel or whatever, we cue up the same exact stuff: bath time, book, big feed, sleep sack in the dark room… Every. single. night, even if he is being a turd and fighting us or we’re traveling, or whatever.
Hang in there, you’re still an amazing mom and in no way failing in the parenting department because you have a child that is hard to get to sleep. They’re their own people, too– and they come with their own set of personality traits and circumstances that sometimes manifest itself in ways that aren’t ideal now but will help them later on in life. My son is DETERMINED to master new skills, even at this age he will keep himself up practicing over and over and over again until he gets it. Thats just, the way he is wired and I’d bet no amount of sleep training is going to override that desire to want to push himself. He must get it from his dad because mom over here is totes content to sit on the porch with a glass of wine :p