- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My SO is a spender, and still lives at home with his parents (to save money, as in not spending it on rent, he doesn’t really have a lot in savings, but he paid down almost all of his debt). We both get paid bi-weekly, and are on an alternating schedule, so we’ve already worked it out that I pay a little more for things we do when I get paid, he pays for us when he gets paid.
We have been together just short of a year (1/31 will be a year!). We discuss our future together and both view this as “it” and that we will eventually be married.
In the last week or two, he has all of a sudden has mentioned here and there different worries about money. He also mentioned to my parents that he applied to take a test for a higher paying job (I didn’t even know about this! It’s just the test, he hasn’t applied for a new job or anything yet). I make more than him (not a lot more), but it has never bothered him (he explicitly told me it didn’t) and he never made it an issue or anything before. He’s also spent freely throughout our relationship so far, no regard to “budgeting” or anything. He’s actually never commented ever before about being worried about money or anything like that.
Besides the mentions now here and there of being worried about money, today he told me he feels bad that he is too broke to afford things. I told him we can start doing more free dates, just staying in and things like that (since it’s winter anyway) and maybe even help each other budget since I need to save as well. He said that sounded good.
My 30th birthday is next week, and he is planning a party (it’s not a surprise) as well as our 1 year anniversary, and I know he’s a bit stretched this month because of these things (I’ve already told him for anniversary I just want to go dinner where we met (pub, not expensive), and it’d be nice if he got me a card (I like cards)).
There have been no unforeseen sudden big expenses or anything that would suddenly change his view on money.
I guess my question is whether other bees have experienced this from their SO? Maybe it’s just my waiting brain but it makes me wonder if he’s starting to think of our financial future together, and possibly even he’s thought of starting to save for a ring (!)