(Closed) any one have a friend be your officant?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve seen it done several times, and it has nevere gone poorly.

Post # 4
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I really really wanted my uncle to officiate but my mom always rains on my parade (I value her opinion highly) and she told me it was tacky. LOL oh well…

Post # 5
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I officiated a wedding for friends and I started by asking the tone of the cermony and the length. Figuring what was most important to them was crucial (idea of being a family,love, and the reality that while life isn’t perfect it takes work and commitment to create a loving marriage)- it was also important to them that the ceremony be funny-which was the hardest part by far! I then looked at a bunch of ceremonies, and bought a few books about writing wedding ceremonies to understand the general feel and flow of officiating a ceremony.

After I wrote it (I had to read it out loud and allow time for the unity aspects to know how long it was) I sent them drafts, incorporated edits, asked again the priorities (because I had over 8 months to write it, so things change) sent another draft, and incorporated edits. Then, I sneakily got hold of their engagement photos and turned their ceremony into a blurb book. Then I was able to read from the book while at the ceremony so I had something beautiful to be in pictures. 

Post # 6
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

A good friend of Mr. LK’s got ordained online and officiated our wedding. I wrote the entire ceremony and sent it to him ahead of time. It went fine, and none of the ceremony oopsies had anything to do with our officiant.

Post # 7
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had my dad do our first one and a deccan friend did our second.  We wrote most of the ceremony and it was one of the best weddings in the world – just my humble opinion.  Our friend added all the right touches and truely made it just that much more special for us both.

Post # 8
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We’re having a close friend officiate ours. No ordination for him, went to city clerk already and are legally married. We’re just starting to write our ceremony. My Fiance and I are planning on writting most of the ceremony but he will definitely write the opening without our input. He got married recently so we’re hoping to rely on him a bit to check our format and pacing.

Post # 9
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

Oh, I should mention that my friends asked me to write the ceremony. I asked them if they wanted to write it but they said no – so writing it yourself is for sure an option! My cousin paid an officiant, but wrote her won ceremony too.

Post # 10
Hostess
23599 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had a friend officiate for us (he doubled as a groomsman after the ceremony), and we asked him to read up on what to say.  He wrote the ceremony, and ran it by Darling Husband the day before. It worked out really nicely.  From what I understand, when he went to get his “Deputy for a Day” paperwork taken care of, they had materials to help him.  good luck!  This is on my “top ten” list of favorite decisions we made for our wedding!

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