(Closed) Any other athiests or agnostics getting married in a church???

posted 7 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance is an athiest and I am agnostic but we are getting married in the Orthodox church.

We are getting married in a church because it means a lot to both of our families, and while I don’t believe in it, it is important to me to get married in a church. I don’t know why but I have always pictured myself getting married in a church.

I am in the same boat as your right now, I am not sure how to handle meetings with the priest and I am worried that our beliefs will come up. I am just going to keep my fingers crossed that the priest does not require pre-marriage counciling.

Post # 4
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Fiance and I are both agnostic. We are getting married in the Catholic church because both of our grandparents would have a heart attack if we didn’t. My grandparents are super religious. When we met with our priest he asked us questions about our church. I told him that even though I’m a member at my church that I never attend but that I attend mass with my grandmother at her church. I wasn’t really lying because the only time I do go to church is with her but it’s really not that often. Once we have kids, and sadly if our grandparents are gone, we would not have thenm baptized. But if they’re alive, we will

Post # 5
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

My friends husband was agnostic and they got married in a catholic church.

Post # 6
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Isn’t it kind of crazy what we do to please our families.

Post # 7
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My husband is agnostic and we were married in my family’s church per my grandmother’s wishes.  It worked out and he was completely happy with it.

Post # 8
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m an atheist and definitely wouldn’t be comfortable having a religious ceremony, but if you’re willing to have one because it’s important to your Fiance, that’s really sweet of you. That said, I would have a talk with the pastor and ask if he could choose some readings that you are more comfortable with. There are so many beautiful passages from the Bible that I’ve heard read at weddings that aren’t all gung-ho on God and Jesus, hopefully he will be open to using some of those instead.

As for going to church and raising your children, you need to have a frank discussion with your Fiance about that ASAP so that you know what to tell his family when they ask. Make a decision and stick to it from the start. If you waffle over it or give his family any leeway to influence these decisions, you will probably end up with a lot more drama than is necessary.

I love my Catholic Mother-In-Law to death, and she’s usually super good about not being preachy, but it’s very likely she will try and get us to baptize our children and that is just not going to happen.

Post # 9
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Mrs.RDV: I was just thinking that. We’re agnostic and outright refused to get married in a church, despite some pleading from a few of my family members. Gotta stick to your guns.

That being said, if it’s important to your Fiance, I think it’s sweet that you’re doing it.

Post # 10
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am agnostic and Fiance is athiest, even if one of us was religios but the other wasn’t I we still wouldn’t get married in a church (getting married in a church never even crossed our minds). For us that would just be wrong (not to mention confusing).

In regards to your children being bought up, considering you are getting married in a church for your Fiance I think most of your family (maybe even your FI) will assume that any future children will be bought up religious.

FIs parents are a religious (not devot or anything like that) and they wanted DS to be christened under The Church of England (which we were both christened under) but we flat out refused. If DS decides he wants to be religious than good for him, however we won’t be the ones teaching it to him or introducing it to him. How to raise you children in regards to religion is a very important topic to discuss with your Fiance now so issues don’t occur down the track.

Post # 11
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

im agnostic and Fiance is raised catholic (but not practicing) and we are getting married by a preist. no in a church but we have several religions in our ceremony

Post # 12
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I am pretty agnostic and am getting married in a protestant church. It is at the Air Force Academy where my Fiance graduated from. I actually chose to get married here because of my FI’s history..the chapel’s legacy and well, because its a really cool building! lol My family is all hindu and most of my friends are christian or agnostic. I just look at it like this, we are getting married, I am sure jesus was just a man, who cares if these other people are delusional lol. (not meant to be mean…just trying to say that every one has their own opinion about god and it is not important to me for them to hold back on them during my ceremony). Is it really that important to you that jesus is talked/not talked about? My daughter was also christened.. but goes to a hindu temple every week and has never been to church after that day lol. I christened her to appease her father and it did me no harm, nor does she know anything about christianity.

Post # 13
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@fvsoccer:HMMMM!  Same boat, sortof, here…Fiance is religious and I’m not.  I question a lot of things about religion, and hoestly, I just don’t agree with it.  Not sure if i fall into some sort of category, cause i would like to “believe” in all of it, I just can’t fully.  BUT, I wanted to have our ceremony in a church, not Fiance.  He doesn’t care, as long as we get married.  But for me, a church just feels “right” for some reason.  I’m not put off by mention of religion or god at all, just have my own thoughts about it.  As far as kids, if we ever have some, they will go to church.  Wierd right?  I just think with kids, it’s a good thing to be exposed to.  I also think if I had been exposed more to religion as a child, some things may have been easier to deal with then and even more so, now.

Post # 14
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re both atheists, but we got married at my IL’s Unitarian church. It was a compromise between us and our religious families…it was in a church, but a church that has a Wiccan gives the occasional sermon/lecture. And we got married outside in the center of their flat stone meditation labryinth, in front of a huge gorgeous tree. There were hints of religion in the ceremony, a prayer or two, blessing the rings, enough that our super-religious grandmothers/my entire family were appeased, but not so much that it made either of us uncomfortable. 

Post # 15
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We’re getting married in what USED to be a church- it’s got a very traditional look to it, but it’s been bought out by the museum and now the sanctuary is used as a concert hall for the music school across the street. It was perfect for us because it’s actually the church that my grandparents and great-grandparents got married in (which I didn’t know until after we picked it). But it’s not currently being used as a church, there is no congregation, and more importantly there is no need to include God in the ceremony.

 

Post # 16
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not really religious, but I don’t know that I would consider myself to be agnostic, but FH is more on the Christian side. When we got engaged, his only request was that we get married in a church because it was important to him and his family. I agreed to do so. I figured that I could do this one thing for him, and for his family, since they have been so wonderful to me.

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