(Closed) Any other bees want to have children at age 25 or younger?

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 77
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve always said I want to be done haivng kids by the time I’m 30, and while I’m still several years off from that, my wanting kids fluctuates daily. Some days I do, and other days I’m happy that I can do whatever I want without having to find a babysitter. My husband is a couple of years younger, and DOES NOT want kids right now, wants to wait until he’s 30…

Where my husband went to high school, the teen pregnancy rate is very high, for example in his graduating class of around 90, I think he said 25 of them had at least one kid, some up to three, and that was just counting the girls.

Post # 78
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Camp Hope

I’m 20 now. Will be 22 when we marry. We have talked about waiting a year to have a kid. So 23 it is. I’m guessing it will be between 23-25. Depending on where we are in life. 

Post # 79
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hi! So this is very dependent on the couple. Every couple is different and every couple’s parents and in-laws will have different opinions. Personally that is why I am not telling mine that we are starting to try. I just turned 22 and my husband (11 years older than me) got married almost 9 months ago. My husband wanted children like last year, but I wanted us to get married first and for me to graduate with my BS first. Now that both of those are accomplished I felt it selfish to add more things to a list of to-do’s before we get pregnant. Honestly, you can always find reasons to post-pone having children. For some people they want it to be just the two of them for a while, which is perfectly fine. For others, it is more about sharing time together with a life that is the both of them together. Many people worry that they will not be able to do certain things once they have children. Honestly from all of my friends and co-workers who have children they say that you can still do almost everything you normally do after a year or so… unless everything you do is party and drink until 3-4 am. If that is the case maybe it is best to out grow that faze before trying to have children!

As far as age goes… my mom had her first child at 22, my oldest sister had her first at 24, and my sister-in-law had hers at 31. My mom and sister say they are very happy to have a child younger because that is when you body is the healthiest, it can recover easier, and it is the prime time for fertility. My sister-in-law, regardless of how in shape she is, said that it is so hard for her to get adjusted and recover and she constantly says she wishes she had a child earlier.

The main thing is that you and your Fiance or husband talk about it. Both of you need to agree on the time to start trying and discuss important things related to being parents. It really is a luxury to talk about if you want to start sooner than later, many people do not get that opportunity to talk about it before it happens and they may not be ready! I personally think that just talking about it with your partner is a positive sign that you guys are ready…

Good Luck!

Post # 80
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@sunshinewish15:  I did and I did. I thoroughly enjoyed having my kids young. I am about to be 36, my oldest will be 17 in Sept. and my youngest turned 6 in Jan. I am looking forward to not having a teenager when I’m over 50. I do not feel that I would have made a better parent if I had waited until I was 30 to start. But that’s just me. I basically gave up my “sow my oats” twenties to have children. By the time I turned 21 I was pregnant with my second child. It’s not for everyone. But like I said, I’m happy with it. A lot of the people I went to school with are having their first baby now. And that’s good for them. But while they’re changing diapers I’m getting a smidge of my freedom back. I think it has more to do with a person’s personal preference, maturity and willingness to sacrifice than age.

Post # 81
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

@sunshinewish15:  My daughter was a surprise at 20 and while I wouldn’t trade her for the world, I wish I would have waited until 25+

Post # 82
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am 29 and I have 3 children 🙂 Had my first when I was 23 and while I was young I had lot’s of traveling and just general craziness under my belt so I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Except college. I never went and I really wanted to. But I feel like I still can, 4 more years and my youngest will be in school full day, that is not that long. I will be 33, still pretty young, I will have all day to myself and I wll be able to do pretty much anything I want while the kids are at school and FH at work. 

I love that we had them relatively young, that means that when they actually move out we will still be at an age where we can travel and have fun but mature enough to enjoy the quality time.

Post # 83
Member
3082 posts
Sugar bee

@sunshinewish15:  If you are ready financially and emotionally I think 23/24 is fine. I just think *most* people our age arent. 28 is my magic number. Thats when I would like to, I told that to my BFF and she said “Thats OLD!”

WHAT? no! I have always said 28! Hers was more like 25/26 but she ended up having baby boy at 21. I think she just wants out kids to be close in age, but I told her maybe your 3rd kid we can be pregger buddies lol

Post # 84
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I can’t help your argument. I’m almost 30 and married (after being together for 4 years) and nowhere close to wanting kids. Yeeech.

Post # 85
Member
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sunshinewish15:  If I can go back in time and start college all over again, and was finished and in my career, yes I would have a kid at 25. I am 28 now and just finally picked a college major that I want to my career. So once I am done with school, I want to start trying to have a baby. Right now I work full time, go to night school. Fiance works full time also. But I want to be done with school because what I go to school for is very stressful and its not a good combo to try to have a baby, and then have one and be stressed with a new baby, and still in school. 

 

ANd for anyone that says you are not ready for a baby, any parent will tell you this, you are never ready. Financially, yes you can be ready, but mentally and emotionally-no and I don’t mean this in a negative way. You learn something new everyday when you have a baby. I can’t wait to have a baby

Post # 86
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

This post really caught my eye because my fiacne and I have been talking about kids more and more recently. We have been together since we were 15 thats just over 8 years now. I am 23 and he is 24. We have been engaged for one year and our wedding date is set for 19 months from now and we both really want kids. We are trying to decided to have a baby now which would give me to get back into shape for the wedding plus our child could be a part of it.our other option is to wait til were married. I will be almost 25 and he will be almost 26. I would much rather have a baby now but were paying for the wedding on our own. Either way I would like to my first child by time I am 25.

Post # 87
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m 21, Fiance and I have been together for four years, and I’ve wanted a baby for the last two. I am DESPERATE for a baby, but will sensibly wait until I am 23 🙂 even though its killing me! 

Post # 88
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I always thought I wanted kids when I was Younger, figured I would have them at least by 25. Now I’m 27 and glad that i don’t have kids yet. My Fiance and I love to travel and take trips and do things that we wouldn’t be able to do if we already had kids. I definitely still want kids, and so does he.I but I’m glad I didn’t have thm when I thought I would and I kno that when we do have kids, we will be able to offer them a lot more than if I had them at 20 or 25 because I have already grown and experienced so much since then.

Post # 89
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

hi all well im 25years old….and i have two young kids with my husband to be.

 

We went through all the serious challenging times that came with having them, being young and being a couple living together , savings, mortgages, and everything else in general life! But the way i see it, Im 25 years olds and except for the wedding our lifes pretty much sorted! lol. Im not saying its been easy at all but all the hard stuff, the changes every single couple go through no matter how old they are because they move in together or have kids is exactly the same just harder i think depending on maturity and cash flow.

 

I know people young and old, mature to just plain stupid,some that went to university like myself and some that didnt with kids and without and it dont make any difference what age you are or what standard or pay grade your on that makes having kids any better.

 

You could be fifty and not ready for kids becasue your not mature enough, infect i know a 42 year old that shouldnt have kids ever becasue while she looks fine on the street walking past she’s the most immature person ive ever known, dont get me wrong thinking i dont like her this women is my party buddy because shes the best fun ever…but she comes to me for relationship and parenting advice..

 

So to be honest i think raising kids is about maturity, common sense & life expiernce’s.

 

None of which i think get better with age, well maybe expierence for some, x

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 90
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m 25 and getting married next oct. We have a 19 & 2 month old (both unplanned, found out during my second pregnancy I have a hormone inbalance that made me more fertile on bc lol but at least we found out before I have a football team of kids). I’m wording this as well as I can because I love my boys more than anything, and now that they are here the timing worked out perfectly. I graduated collage when I was 20 and by the time our first was born we were able to have me stay home until the boys start school, we own our home, and paying for our wedding in cash. All of that being said sometimes I wish I would have been able to be childless in my 20’s for longer. Your life changes in ways we can’t imagine. Sometimes I miss being able to leave the house without planning for dinner or coffee or just to do a target trip in under 2 hours. My children having a schedule is important to me and they have a bedtime of 7 but that means we have to be home by 530 at the Latest for dinner, bath, and bed. I don’t think I understond how home bound I would be once I had kids. Just a little food for thought

Post # 91
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Fiance and I will be 23 and 24 when we get married, and I think it’s pretty likely that we will start trying to have a baby before I am 25. We both really want kids, but want to enjoy at least a year of living together childfree. I think it’s a personal thing, I know I want to have my kids younger, because I grew up with a younger Mom and it was awesome. My Mom was 22 when she had my brother and 23 when she had me. Now she’s only 45, and my brother and I are both adults. She said she’s glad, because now she and my Dad have the time and money to enjoy doing things that they wouldn’t have been able to do if they’d been childfree in their 20s. I think the right time is different for everyone though. It just depends where you are in your life. I know that my Mom and Dad will be happy whenever we decide to have kids, although I think for my Dad the sooner the better, he really wants to be a Grandpa!

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