(Closed) Any other bees want to have children at age 25 or younger?

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 92
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My Fiance and i will be married when we are 28, and 23 respectively..

We will TTC directly, so i’ll be around 24 for the first baby..

It was the only way we could think of so that we could both be there for our kid, since he is already a doctor, and i’m still a medical student..

I’ve always thought i’ll start my family at 28, but it just doesn’t work out for us like that..

Post # 93
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I never grew up wanting kids. Both Darling Husband and I questioned a lot whether we wanted kids.

Then something went off in both of us, and we decided we needed to become parents.. lol

We had our first child when I was 25 (DH was just about to turn 25).

It was perfect timing for us. We’re both homebodies, and don’t put a ton of importance in going out, etc. We had a home, and established careers.

I personally want to be DONE having kids by 30. If we decide to have another, I will try my best to make sure that is before my 30th bday. lol

We have lots of life and time to travel, and do other stuff. Becoming a mommy and spending these years with my child, while I have the energy and health are important and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

DH’s parents were 22ish when they had him. Now they’re in their late 40’s-early 50’s and are “living the dream” lol They’re young, healthy, and can do whatever they want.

Post # 94
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes! My Husband and I are 22 and 23, and at 22, I feel super ready to start TTC! I want to be done having kids by 30! Young parents have the most fun with their kids ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 95
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

Nope. I am 25 now and we don’t plan on trying to have children for another 4-5 years. We both have stable jobs, make quite a bit of money combined, but we aren’t ready to change our lifestyle. We want 2 children, but feel that waiting a few more years will be the best for our relationship, our lifestyle and our future children. Mind you, we have been together for 10 years (married for 2 1/2 months), but we are in no rush ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t think there is a “right age” to have children. I also don’t buy into the crap about “young parents have more energy/are more fun” or that “old parents have no energy/are lame/less fun.” I just believe that if a couple decides to have children, they need to be financially, emotionally, phsyically and mentally prepared to provide for that child. Plain and simple. 

Post # 96
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t mind right now. I’m 21, 22 in about 5 months. He’s 24. We feel like we’re ready. Why not?

Post # 97
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If my Fiance was willing I would start TTC now, Im 23 and my Fiance is 25, we are getting married next year, I have made it known that I would love to have kids by 25, Fiance doesnt feel ready yet and would love to be a bit more financially stable (he is in a great job but im only in temporary work) and married before trying. We’ve come to a compromise that we will start trying 6 months after the wedding, i’ll be 25 and Fiance will be 26/27

Post # 98
Member
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

I’m in my 30’s. No kids. We may adopt some day. I don’t know if its my health issues or not, but I feel like I would of had more energy in my mid twenties. But, I feel more prepared mentally now that I am in my 30’s. If I didn’t have health issues I would also be in a better place financially.

Post # 99
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@sunshinewish15: It’s a personal decision and only you can really know when the time is right. I think as long as you and your FH have stable jobs, a strong relationship and a good support system then you will be okay.  

That said, your mom only wants the best for you and I’m sure she is just trying to look out for you. It sounds like she has been there and she’s just trying to make sure you don’t end up with any regrets about starting a family so young.  You should at least listen to her concerns so you can know about the potential downsides of being a younger parent. That way you’ll have a realistic picture of what life will be like and you’ll be better prepared. 

ETA: The only piece of advice I would give you on having kids is this: make sure you’ve done all of the things you want to do first. A lot of young parents have talked to me about how they plan to have all of their adventures in their forties when their kids leave home. It rarely works out like that. Usually something happens, like they have a disabled child, or a pregnant teenage daughter or something that means they’re not absolved of all responsibility one their kids are 18. Your children will always need you and the responsibility of being there for them is a life long thing. Some young parents don’t seem to understand that once you have a baby you will never be child free again. 

Post # 100
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@nerdwife12:  I don’t think that’s really fair to say. A lot of young parents aren’t as fiancially stable as older parents so they have to work more and don’t get to spend as much time with their kids. I don’t see what is fun about that. It depends on the parents. 

Post # 101
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sunshinewish15:  If you and your future husband feel ready and willing to welcome a child, I say go for it. I’m a family development major and yes there is research that the younger you are, the more stress having a child puts on you etc, etc… But the main thing is “decide vs slide”- if you’re young and it happens by accident when you feel you’re not ready, then it could have potentially bad outcomes. If you decide to do it and are excited and prepared for it, more than likely you will have a positive experience and be just fine ๐Ÿ™‚

Don’t let anyone else’s opinion sway you! This is a decision between YOU and YOUR HUSBAND. I will be 24 when we get married and we want to start trying within the year. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 102
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Everyone is different.  I’ll be 26 once I’m married, and we definitely want to wait at least 3 years post marriage to try to conceive.  I’m in a competitive field, and there are a lot of things we want to do together while we are still young (like travel).  I’ll be excited to have kids, but I’m also excited for this time in my life.  Once you have kids you can never go back to NOT having kids again, and we just want to enjoy every stage

Post # 103
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sunshinewish15:  I had my first at 21, and my second at 25.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have most definitely waited.

I think for each of us it is a personal choice.  In my case, I was entirely too young.  And I have literally spent my entire adult life raising children.  I wish I would have waited a little longer.  I would have liked to have some more time myself to grow up.  Of course I married very young also, which compounded things when that married failed.

The flip side to that is, now at 43 I am completely done raising children.  And I am still young enough to have some fun.  I am old enough now to know what it is I want from life.  I have the freedom to save and plan for MY future, and I have gone through all of the lesser opportunities as far as work goes……and I am not burdened with all of my income going to family needs.  In other words, I make really good money now, and it all goes to MY FUTURE.

I would say it is completely up to you.  I would definitely suggest planning for a family.  Get all of your schooling and the like behind you before you have children.  Stability is the one thing I did not have in the early years of me being a mother, and I really struggled on most days.  

 

Good luck!

 

Post # 106
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We will probably start trying. But we are wary of it. We’ll be living away from both of our families and I’ll be in grad school, hopefully with an assistantship and a part time job on campus. He says he wants to be a stay at home daddy, which is entirely possible because he’ll be working from home. 

My only hang up is wanting time with my kid and stress overload. If I’m in school and working full time, I know I will miss my baby. And stress if school does a number on me and that’s the last thing a baby needs. 

Post # 106
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

Personally, I’d rather wait until I’m 28+ (currently 24) but a good friend of mine started having babies with her hubby at 14. Their culture is also a contributory factor–she’s Hmong and he’s Filipino. They just had their fifth baby at ages 22 and 23. Their plan is “to pop ’em all out before 29 so they can raise themselves.” I love her. They also both work full-time and go to school full time (before anyone asks, both their mothers take care of the tiny humans while they’re gone). They’re both incredibly happy and wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 105
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We will officially start TTC when I am 23 maybe even late 22. I also get comments like that but I reply with “I don’t really think that concerns you.”

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