Post # 1
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
So not to be a downer but I’ve been struggling the past few days.. a lot.
So short back story: 4 years ago my brother and his long time girlfriend passed away from a drug overdose. My mother was down visiting them for mother’s weekend and unfortunately found them both dead. 2 years later my mom passed away. She never got over their deaths and pretty much drank herself to death.
For the first month or two after my Fiance proposed to me I was a mess. I was struggling because I was SO excited about everything but I felt horrible that all of this was happening and my mom wasn’t around to help.
My Maid/Matron of Honor threw me an AMAZING shower this past Sunday and all week I have been a freaking emotional roller coaster. Everything makes me cry. I can’t even begin to imagine what I’m going to be like the day of my wedding. I’m doing some little things to memorialize them for the wedding but I just feel empty.
Blah. Anyone else dealing wtih anything like this or am I just crazy?
Post # 3
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
First of all, I’m so sorry for you losses.
No you’re not crazy. I lost my dad about 9 years ago and it was tough getting through some parts. Dances, speeches, my mom walking me down the aisle, etc.I can’t imagine doing it with more recent wounds.
I let myself cry about it before the wedding so I was a bit more at peace with it the day of. I just tried to focus on the moment.
I wish I had better advice, and maybe the other bees will but you’re not crazy and not alone. But you get through it and it’s still a happy day. Good luck!
Post # 4
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
You are absolutely not crazy! I lost my mom 5 years ago, and wedding stuff is what has made me miss her the most I have missed her since right after she passed. There is so much pressure to do mom-daughter bonding stuff that sometimes I feel like there is just a big piece missing from my planning. So far, it’s been helpful to surround myself with support from my awesome bridal party and Future Mother-In-Law when I am doing big planning pieces.
Post # 5
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
Thanks ladies. It’s so hard. Thank goodness I’m marrying a man who can handle my weird moments I have.
Post # 6
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
Sorry to hear you are going through that. I haven’t gone through it myself, but one of my good friends is engaged also and her mother passed away several years back from cancer and I know it’s been hard for her too. I’ve tried to be as emotionally supportive as I can – I know it was really hard for her to go pick out a dress without her mom – she brought along just her sister and then her sister ended up calling me to come over to the salon because she wanted me there. I felt honored. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone and that it is a hard situation and unfortunately, a lot of people are also going through it as well. Just keep positive and think how happy your mom and brother would be for you and how special the day will be because you get to marry an awesome man who loves you unconditionally!
