Any other brides with body dysmorphia?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1911 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m struggling too. I’m up to 118 now, and I know if I hit 120, I’ll lose it and breakdown. I’ve been very tempted to become unhealthy in hopes of dropping the weight back. I don’t know how it’s crept on since I’ve been pretty good and strict this week. 

I hope my comment isn’t a trigger for you, but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. 

We can do this. 

Post # 3
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

Check pm

Post # 4
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, I am in the same boat.

Post # 5
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

5’6 inches, and as of today, weigh 111.8lbs. Extremely tiny I know, but am actually up 2lbs since last week and feel horrible about this recent weight gain. I keep trying to tell myself to look at the overall picture, but gaining weight no matter how little has never been easy for me. I understand your struggle completely 🙁

Post # 6
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Yes, I understand. My weight has been around the same number now for a couple of years and I had been actually feeling good about myself, just ran a half marathon and hadn’t even been thinking about my weight really. Until I went dress shopping the other day and they took my measurements. Of course I now have the numbers memorized and am starting to obsess over them and get anxious about them not being the same when I go for my first fitting. I usually try to avoid things like this, opt out of being weighed at the doctor, don’t keep a scale in my house.

Post # 7
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, unfortunately at my biggest at 136 when wedding dress shopping. Have gotten bigger from work stress 🙁 getting slowly  better though and back in shape. I was so depressed shopping for dresses and having to try dresses a few sizes up 

Post # 8
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I think I do, though there’s no diagnosis at play (I’m currently therapist-shopping since I have new insurance). I’ve got CPTSD and bipolar 1 going on, so there’s a lot going on upstairs…thankfully, I’m stable and medicated except for my crap body image.

When I was 22, I had to take a course of prednisone that absolutely trashed my metabolism–we’re talking 20 lb gain in like a month. I also had half of my thyroid removed at 19 (that’s a story for another day). I’d always been very thin; I’d finally gotten up to 125 at 5’4″ and was happy with my weight.

Then that turned into 140, then 150, and so on. For about a year, I was heavily restricting calories and working out so much that I had basically no energy…and for a spoonie, that’s rough. I was basically at “negative spoons” all the time.

Now, I’m around 170 but my old clothes still somehow fit. I’m guessing it’s because of how my weight is distributed, but I’m still hard on myself because of the numbers game. I also have endometriosis, so there’s the contant bloat thing, which I call the “endo baby.” (Today, its name is Winston. Gotta laugh, or I’ll cry.) At this point, I don’t even keep a scale in the house because I know I’ll obsess over it. I do have a measuring tape but only break it out about once a month, just to check my waist size, which I know is super unhealthy. But I’ve gotten to the point where if the tape says I’ve gone up a bit, I just kind of laugh it off, which helps.

Basically, I’m trying to make peace with my weight. I know BMI is a load of crap and my doctors have never gotten on my case about it because I don’t carry any of it in my waist or stomach, really. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about it almost daily. I have good days and bad days. 

Dress shopping made me feel crappy–there were a couple of other girls there who were soooo thin, like I used to be. The sample on one dress wouldn’t even zip past my waist (thanks, rib cage). Luckily, the consultants and my fiance, who came with, were wonderfully supportive and made me feel beautiful. But it’s still a daily struggle.

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