(Closed) Any other future step parents out there?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

I will be, to twin boys who are 6, been with their dad since they were 2…so like my own kids. We have a very good relationship, very strong. At times it is challenging, but I think we have all worked together as a team (at least tried)…hope we stay as close forever!

Post # 4
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I will soon be Step mom to an 11 year old boy, whom I have known since he was 3.  It can be challenging because I have never been a parent before and sometimes I have a hard time of knowing what my expectations of him should be but I love him to death and feel so lucky to be in his life!

Post # 5
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

One of my super awesome friends is going to be a step mom… she’s 42 and the girls are 7 and 4 and they LOVE her, but I’d imagine it’ll get tough at some point! I’ve heard step parenting is harder than regular parenting!

Post # 7
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I became a step mom to three boys when my hubby and I got married (I also have two daughters), but it’s hard when you’re the step parent and they do try to test those bounds (we had a situation like that this weekend with one of his sons).  We have good days too and those are the best and I love being mom to five.  I think the thing that puts the most salt in it is because their mom is very difficult – she really doesn’t help my relationship with the boys at all. 

I also feel the way you do about getting my attention from my husband.  Sometimes I feel really bad about being such an attention whore, but we do deserve to have it and they just have to learn how to split their attention and make us feel important even when their children are there.

Hang in there.

Post # 9
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Bakerella- Your situation is so similar to what I’m experiencing!! My fiance already has a 5 year old boy, and like you I love him to death… but changing my whole way of thinking into a “insta-mom” way of thinking was so hard for me. He does make things difficult with his mood swings like you mentioned, but for the most part he is a wonderful kid. We also had the issue with the ex being difficult and parenting styles being complete opposite- but she also has really turned herself around and has always been nice to me. I found myself in our marriage counseling dealing with my issues of resentment about the “first” issue that you mentioned- I was so upset that he experienced all that stuff with someone else- what you said in your last post is soooo true and that’s what I hold onto- that our commited and loving relationship will be our FIRST!! 🙂 

The part of learning how to deal with not having all of him to myself, I’ve learned a great deal about being patient and understanding. Luckily I have an amazing fiance who always recognizes that and makes time for me and for us!

Thank you for posting this and like you I will be hanging in there!! lol

Post # 11
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We do the week on/ week off thing- wed to wed. – so when the wed comes that he goes to his mother’s house- it’s the best feeling of ” yes! it’s my turn now!! ”  – I too feel kinda bad about this- but just kinda Wink  My maternal instinct has yet to kick in- I love him and I have a 3 year old niece who I love to death- but my patience just insn’t there for full on mommy- mode!  I know we’re are going to have more issues when he starts to get older and he can’t do a week to week rotation when he’s in middle or highschool that just wouldn’t work for anyone esp. him! but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there- I’m just trying to be the best fiance/ step-mom I can be- and try not to pull every hair from head in the process! lol

Post # 13
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Fiance is going to be a “dad” to my son who is 2. It is really hard. It adds some extra challenges to our relationship, but overall its been super awesome! He is so great to my son, and my son absolutely adores him! 🙂

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