Post # 17
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
He proposed with a family ring in January. The diamond’s loose, so I can’t wear it until it’s reset (I’ve worn it a few, very select times) Now that we’re closer to the wedding, we’re finally looking at new settings, and most likely I won’t have it by the wedding-I will have a band, though.
Not having a ring to wear hasn’t made me any “less” engaged. I agree with PP- once you have a date set/some plans, people will stop giving you a hard time about it.
Post # 18
I have two close friends of mine that are engaged with no ring. Well, one considers herself not engaged, but they have their rings ordered and will be delivered soon. Whatever suits them! =)
Post # 19
I’ve been engaged since 8/26/11 and have just had a place holder ring this entire time. First I couldn’t find anything or know what I wanted so he proposed with a cheapy $30 CZ ring. A month or so ago I found my dream bridal set and I thought it was silly to purchase it right out when we were paying for the wedding and trying to build up our savings. So the set is on layaway. No biggie.
I agree that people tend to NOT believe you are engaged without a ring or a “real” ring. I just booked my date a couple of weeks ago so my family finally believes me. Oh, they started to believe when I was choosing the ring too. I just ignored all of them but it really didn’t matter to me.
Post # 20
We got engaged without a ring, but that’s more because it took forever to come in. It was awful b/c so many people assume ring=engaged. As soon as I told people I was engaged, their eyes would flick to my left hand or they’d ask to see my ring. My dad even said not to count on it until I had the ring on my hand (I rolled my eyes). I think it’s personally how YOU feel – I felt plenty engaged without a ring. I know people who have gotten a placeholder ring, or used a ring they already had. We chose not to do that, it wasn’t for us. The ring took longer than it was supposed to, and there were all kinds of issues – he didn’t help the day he got the ring by telling me there was a mistake and handing me a ring pop! (then gave me the ring)
Post # 21
Engagement is real if one of you asked and the other said yes. Or if it just came up and you agreed to be engaged. There is no physical symbol needed to make it real, period. As long as you somehow agreed you are engaged… you are, period. Just like there are plenty of folks who don’t wear rings when they are married due to work, preference or when they get older and their hands are arthritic or something and it’s too uncomfortable. I told my Fiance when he brought up getting married that I thought rings were a great symbol and I’d love to have one but it wasn’t necessary.
Post # 22
No ring on my finger yet 🙁 but we have one picked out, just waiting for the money to come in. I won’t even tell people were engaged because in my family no ring=just dating (no real commitment). I hate it, I am sooooooooooo excited but my own sister who does know were engaged gets upset when I talk about my wedding because “I’m not really engaged” I just try and push the downers aside and stay happy. I can’t wait to flash my ring and say I told you so! I know immature but I think it’s immature to put a value in an object instead of my relationship.
Post # 23
Fiance gave me the pendant his father gave him, that his father gave him and on and on.
Granted I have an E ring now, but there is a special place in my heart for that pendant, we’re actually thinking of getting a copy cast for each of our future children.
Post # 24
I didn’t get congratulations on my engagement from half the people I know (including family) until we had an engagement PARTY. I know how you feel. Just sweetly keep on correcting them.
When people who had seen me before the party but had not said anything were gushing congratulations at the party what could I say but “the engagement was a year ago”. Because we didn’t have the money to throw a party in addition to buying the ring and planning a wedding we weren’t “really” engaged apparently. Minute we saved up for a party (I wasnt fussed but Mum INSISTED we force everyone to acknowledge us) it was cards, gifts and congrats left right and centre.
“oh I don’t see a card from your best friend” “she gave it to us last year…when we got engaged…”
My sister on the other hand considered us engaged for a long time because we knew we were going to get married. I think she’s right.
Post # 25
- Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC
Thanks to everyone who responded. You’ve all made me feel a little less alone. I am currently looking at rings and have hinted to Fiance about what I like and dislike to give him an idea. I also made it clear to him I’m not expecting a gigantic rock (I’d be thrilled with .5 carat), so I think I’ll be getting one sooner rather than later.
I’ll just keep reminding people I am indeed engaged until that time comes.
Post # 26
We got engaged without a ring. We had a 5 month engagement, and I got the e-ring 2 months before the wedding. Fortunately, none of my friends or family questioned it. He got down on one knee, told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend his life with me, and asked me to marry him. That’s a proposal, ring or no.
By some of these people’s standards, then, if it’s not an engagement until you’ve got a ring, we would’ve had a 2 month engagement! Impressive. Haha.
Post # 27
Yep. I do have a promise ring though. We’re waiting till we have a bit more money saved to get rings.
Post # 28
no ring, no engagement… sorry
Post # 29
I got engaged with no e-ring. We couldn’t afford the e-ring that we wanted and pay for the wedding, so we decided to wait on the e-ring. We bought plain gold bands and didn’t wear them until we were married. I got my diamond on our 1 year anniversary. I never had anyone, that I know of, doubt our intent to be married and when the preacher “pronounced” us man and wife, it certainly didn’t make me any LESS married because I didn’t have one. In fact, if they did doubt it, I guess we showed them.
Post # 30
I had a thread about this some time ago. We’ve been engaged for about 2 years now, and I don’t have a ring. Fiance built a 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house for us to live in – I’d take that over a ring any day. We’ll probably have gold bands for the ceremony. I never really pushed hard for FI to get me a ring, the house was enough!
Post # 31
@Bjones107 How ignorant! Did you not read anyone’s stories? Obviously you can even get MARRIED without a ring, so seriously, wth. If it is a personal opinion you could state that a lot less judgementally!