Post # 16
I agree. i have maybe 4 close friends all who i talk to almost everyday but only see them maybe if im lucky everyother month? my husband has a lot of friends. his friends are coming over almost every night (which i dont mind) most of them have girlfriends but i dont really “socialize” with them much nor would i ever go out with just the girlfriends. it is irritating all of my friends have friends other than our small group. it just seems like i cant make friends, nor do i go “looking” for new friends but it would be nice to maybe have 1 or 2 more friends that live closer to me.
Post # 17
It seems like there are a lot of girls on here who have this problem! I definitely do. I feel like I have a harder time getting along with most girls, just because I don’t share the same interests, where I do share more interests with guys. I like video games and sci fi and I’m not really into fashion or babies or stuff like that. I’m also a scientist which puts me in a profession where people are intimidated to talk about it because they don’t understand what I do. I actually ask my Fiance not to leave me alone with his friends’ girlfriends when we go out because it is so awkward. I do have some girlfriends, but they are mostly like me and not girly.
Post # 18
My Boyfriend or Best Friend has 5/6 close friends that all have GFs that we get asked regularly to do things with. I’ve known all these people for about 3 years now and all the girlfriends seem to have some sort of connection and I’m the oddball. I think the problem I have is that I’m not big into partying, drinking games, etc, like a lot of them are. I do drink but I’ve never been into going crazy. A lot of the girlfirends were in sororities (not all the same one) but they just all seem to have levels to connect on. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I went to a wedding last month for one of his high school friends and he introduced me to a lot of people, but for some reason I could not keep a conversation going with the girls! Argh, well thanks ladies! I’m glad to know I’m not alone with this problem 🙂
Post # 19
I do, but in a different kind of way. People tend to gravitate towards me, but I’m just not one for keeping friends. I prefer to be alone, and people exhaust me. I’m not one for small talk at all, discussing things like the weather or a book you recently read isn’t important to me. I tend to keep things short and to the point, and it pushes people away.
Also, I find it hard to trust people.
Post # 20
I have a lot of trouble finding female friends in my age group – for some reason, I get along much better with men in my age group OR women who are 5-10 years older than me. I’m also not into the partying scene, nor was I ever in a sorority, so when I find a girl that’s the same age as me – there’s just nothing for us to talk about! I only ever really had 3 good friends at a time through school, and a couple of those came about because a teacher made us work together, lol. I also don’t like to mix work and friends too much. I’ve seen it cause too much drama. I think that occasionally puts people off as well, but eh. I’m there to work and get a job done, and I’ll be friendly, but I don’t really want to hear about your troubles at home when I’m trying to work! 😛
Post # 21
I have trouble making friends… but I wouldn’t consider myself shy or an introvert. I wouldn’t even say that I get along better with guys than girls. I just feel like I don’t have too much in common with many of the people I seem to be associated with.
When I started my graduate program, I went out a lot with people from my program, but going out isn’t my favorite thing to do. In general, my friendships always include a few people I can confide in and a lot of one-on-one or small group outings to get something to eat/drink, hiking, climbing, bowling, what have you.
I started dating my SO 5 months into my program, and he lived a 30-60 minute drive away (depending on traffic), so that took up time, especially when we spent about 4 nights a week together at the beginning of our relationship. He has also has a son… so we got serious pretty fast. Since then, my priorities have changed, and I feel like I grew up about 5 years according to my interests in just the last year and a half.
No one in my program that hangs out with others in the program have kids or are in the kind of relationship as me (buying a house and not questioning moving forward). I also don’t like to get drunk… and many people here do. And now I live about 20-40 minutes away depending on traffic, since we bought a house. I just feel like I don’t have anything to talk about with them anymore, because I just get wide stares and silence when I try – that, and I don’t like to partake in some of their raunchy conversation. I find myself disgusted sometimes when I’m in a group of them.
Now I find myself wanting other mom-friends. I’m actually excited to start having kids in a few years to do this. I actually made one mom-friend already just from bringing my stepson to kids activities in the area! I also now get along better with my stepson’s mother and her friends than I do with the people my own age in my grad program.
Post # 22
redpanda16: I get along with almost all women and can very easily make female friends (& male ones too). Its easy for me to get out and talk to others and find a common ground with them, to make conversation flow. I may not be best friends with everyone I come across and meet, but I’m at the very least well acquanited and know some info about the people I come into contact with. I’ve always been told I make people feel comfortable and welcomed in any setting. Imm sure that helps with acquiring new friends. Just have to be outgoing and put yourself out there. Get to know others!
Post # 23
Totally feel you. I have like, only ONE female friend in the state where I live. Then there is my younger sister. I also have one other girlfriend who I am really cool with but she lives in another state.That’s it! It is always super awkward when it comes to other women for me. But, with guys, the conversations just flow. *heavy sigh*
I think beyond high school and college, it is very difficult to make friends with other women.
Post # 24
jenilynevette: I can relate a bit. While I dont think I push people away, I feel reenergized when I am alone. I think I am naturally an introvert and like you, I dont really like small talk. On the other hand, it would be nice to have someone to call up to do stuff with when I want them available.lol
Post # 25
I too am a bit socially awkward. I tend to make friends through work or school, but beyond that, I’ve never made random new friends besides Fiance, whom I met online.
You mentioned wanting to be friends with SO’s girlfriends. Do you all hang out when the guys are hanging out? Maybe try finding a common bond with them (e. g., watching the guys watch football is boring. maybe suggest going to dinner while they’re watching). Similarly, you may be able to make friends through your hobbies unless you’re like me, and your hobbies are more solitary in nature. Just know you’re not alone :)!
Post # 26
I’m so bad at making friends. I just feel like I never have anything in common with anyone else and that makes it really hard to try to make conversation or connect with someone.
Post # 27
Sofetch15: I would never consider myself an introvert or that I don’t put myself out there, thats mostly where the frustration is. Because I do put myself out there, I try to meet people, make connections with my BF’s friends girlfriends, etc. You’re lucky you don’t have this issue, because I have my entire life and it’s pretty frustrating when I in fact DO enjoy talking to others. I’m definitely not just sitting at home waiting for friends to come to me. It’s just something I suppose I’ll never figure out I guess
Post # 28
craigslistgirl: Done and done! I’m always with the girls when my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I hang out with his friends and their girlfriends. I’m definitely not hanging with the guys. Sometimes I end up doing so, but thats at the end of the night after feeling really let down that most of the girls ignore me and go off on their own. I like to ski, rock climb, etc, but they’re unfortunately activities I’m usually doing with guys, it’s just so tough.
Post # 29
I really like this article about making friends: http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html . I think I could improve my attitude when it comes to meeting new people! (Edit: If people don’t click on it, it also mentions becoming more open to making friends dissimilar to you)
Post # 30
I feel the same way. I’ve noticed that most women are very catty, back-stabbing, and gossip-y. I have 4 really good friends and a handful of acquaintances. I wish it was easier.
I am the type of person that is very loyal but unfortunately, I’ve had a couple of really bad experiences so I am super choosy with whom I get close to. Lyckily, I have amazing sisters that I talk to every single day.