(Closed) Any other ladies have trouble making friends?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m glad I am not alone  … I really appreciate and enjoy deep and meaningful friendships so I have a tough time keeping superficial acquaintances alive. My Boyfriend or Best Friend is the same way so we both have a few really close friends from different points of life. I sort of wish sometimes I could have a huge group of girlfriends that everyone seems to have

Post # 32
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I have one really close friend that has always been in my life in some way, but we’ve been close for about 6 years. I have another “friend” that I’ve been close with for 5 years but I’m trying to get rid of her. Other than them, I talk to other girls, but I’m not really close with anybody else besides my Fiance. I’ve only made one girl friend in class but I’ve made a couple of guy friends that I still talk to out of class. I have no problem talking to people, I just don’t care to hang out with a lot of them. I also enjoy talking to older people as opposed to people my age (22). 

Post # 33
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

redpanda16:  What region of the U.S. are you in? Do you think it’s more difficult because of your location? I lived in South FL. It was an affluent area with people who could afford nice things. I generally thought that area was full of “fake” people… Where those in Central FL were much more laid-back and receptive. Now in the Northeast region of the US, people tend to be way more upfront and genuine. Could be the location and the type of people you love near/around. Some people judge based on looks, and if you’re a pretty girl, maybe people are intimated by you, or automatically assume something about you (which obviously isn’t true). 

Post # 34
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hey Red Panda. I’m new here too 🙂 I have a few girl friends whom I met in my childhood, but struggle to make friends with girls as an adult. I struggle getting to know other women especially if they’re catty, superficial, and like to gossip a lot. I often get a long with guys because I like sports, video games and I have a potty sense of humour. My husband loves to boast to his guy friends how good I am at xBox! 

I despise when my husband brings me along to events to hang out with his guy friends and their girlfriends. The genders usually segregate and I become bored out of my brains listening to the women talk about their favourite diaper brands. I can relate when you talk about hearing “crickets” when you’re trying to talk to another woman!

Post # 35
Member
628 posts
Busy bee

I find it sad that women always complain about other women and assume jealousy. Maybe it’s a bad attitude that’s at fault rather than every other female being jealous. If women “never” like you and you “always” find it easier to be around men, maybe examine the common denominator in those situations. 

If you put yourself out there – join Meetup, take a course, talk to someone in the Starbucks line – then you’ll be surprised at the results. Check the “women hate me” attitude at the door and see what happens. This thread shows there are lots of like-minded women out there in terms of wanting to make friends. Too bad they only like men.

See the problem? Just because a women has kids (or doesn’t), dresses well (or doesn’t), likes videos games (or doesn’t) does NOT mean you can’t relate to her on other levels and focus on what you do have in common rather than the things that separate you. No friendships are perfect but an effort needs to be made to get any results. 

You don’t like the topic of conversation? Change it. You’ve never tried someone’s favourite hobby? Give it a go and introduce that person to your favourite hobby too. There are so many people out there and so many ways to connect. Preconceived notions and stereotypes won’t help anything…except isolating people. This is such a common “problem” because of out attitudes. Rather than commiserate, change it! 

Post # 36
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

I moved from my hometown to a new state 5 years ago and knew no one. It took me about 3.5 years, but one day I just decided to get up and make friends. I joined several clubs, got a new hobby and forced myself to invite people to do things instead of waiting for them to “like” or “click” with me. Guess what, it worked! I made several very good friends in the past year or so, but it took some reaching out on my part. 

One thing I forced myself to stop doing was over-thinking situations. It I want to text someone, I text them. If I want to tell them a story, I tell it. I used to sit and analyze things so carefully– it felt a lot like dating when I met a new potential friend! Once I took that pressure off and decided that I wasn’t going overthink or over complicate things- it made it so much easier.

 

And I have found that men can be just as backstabbing as women can. I get along with both genders, but if you’re finding out that every woman you encounter is a backstabber– maybe look in the mirror and see if YOU aren’t contributing to that, too.

Post # 37
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I used to feel the same exact way. That I could never hit it off with women and make friends with them like I could men. Usually they would seem catty or just be more popular and have nothing common. 

Then I eventually shifted who I wanted to be friends with and it happened naturally. These are women who didn’t judge and are always ready to be there for each other. I met them while letting go of my social anxiety and doing things I was interested in, like the renaissance faire or joining my local running club. There’s a lot of different types of women out there, you just have to bypass the ones who aren’t worth it. 

 

Post # 38
Member
2350 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yup. I have no friends right now. Just hubby. 

I just have nothing in common with women. I hate kids, I don’t like anything to do with kids. So women my age r out. Younger girls r too into partying and getting drunk. Plus they make me feel like shit about myself with their perfect bodies and beautiful hair and makeup. I’m not a girly girl fashionista or getting pumpkin spice lattes every day. I dont participate in drama, gossip or any of that shit. So ya nobody texts me, calls me, fbs me or anything. 

Post # 39
Member
2350 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I will say that I think one huge problem is Facebook. I hate Facebook. I know it’s connecting ppl around the world like no other. But. It makes a person feel like they’re nurturing friendships by “keeping up” on what everyone is doing, but really all they’re doing is reading a news feed and not keeping up with their friend at all. A fb congrats means nothing to me. A fb like means nothing. Posting a status is not communicating with me and I am not trying to keep anyone informed on anything when I I post a status.

Ugh. I am about two inches from deleting mine, yet I am scared it will piss everyone off that I “must not want to know about their lives or keep in touch with them.” So I feel like a fb prisoner who can’t even be myself on my own page. 

Rant over. I just think sometimes for ppl who find it hard to communicate (like me for example) fb can do more harm than good.

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