Post # 1
I’ve never been particularly enamored of marriage, and I’ve always thought that marriage is a decision that a pair of grown-ups should come to together through discusssion and deliberation. Knowing this, my SO has never considered asking me to marry him. However, last year, in anticipation of our 10th anniversary in September, I began to think that getting married would be fun and a nice way to celebrate 10 happy years together. So I proposed (in an email, but that’s a different story!). We talked about it for a while and then decided to make the plunge, tell our families and etc.
Am I the only one? Are there any other women who have made this decision–and taken action–for themselves?
Post # 3
I didn’t propose but congrats on doing it! Can’t wait to hear the story of how you proposed!
Oh, and welcome to the hive!!!
Post # 4
I didn’t propose, but I thought about it. I decided that since we’d discussed it, and we both knew I was ready. I didn’t want to rush him into something he wasn’t ready for.
I am a little jealous of your chuzpah though! Congrats!
Post # 5
man I thought about it… basically because I KNEW I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We talked about it and I knew he was just waiting until he was ready and more financially secure. I never really thought of going through with it because I knew that the moment of proposing was something he was looking forward to, I didn’t want to steal his thunder.
Post # 6
haha, I definitely was getting anxious and just felt like asking him a couple of times because I was getting tired of waiting for him to ask me! but I knew he wouldn’t have liked that (and I honestly wouldn’t have either!)
Post # 7
I suppose I did in a way. He’d let me know almost a year earlier that he was ready but that he knew I was not. So I knew that I would have to let him know when the time came. So I kind of brought it up to say, well I’m ready to really talk about it (not that we hadn’t ever broached the subject before), and we ended up having a long conversation that ended with us being like, "um, so are we engaged now?" We celebrated more formally with dinner and a w/e in the city later but…I guess it’s kind of like I asked him.
Post # 8
We talked about marriage and I let him know I was ready. I also told him I didn’t need a formal proposal, that he could just look at me one day and say "ok let’s get married", and that would be enough for me to consider us engaged, and planning a wedding. But he wanted to do it the old-fashioned way – I think in the same way girls often dream of wearing the white dress, boys have thought about a proposal as a rite of passage for them too. So he bought the ring without my knowledge, and surprised me on a weekend away. It was much more elaborate than I needed, but I do love having a wonderful story, and I do love that he put so much thought into it. My parents always just said they "decided" to get married, and my sisters and I hated that story, so I am glad I’ll have a romantic story for my children 🙂
Post # 9
i’m setting a deadline for myself– if he doesn’t propose within the next 2 years (aka by the time we’re together 5 years), i’m asking him. he already knows i’m ready (and willing to help look for and/or pay for a ring), so i don’t want to push or pressure him now by asking if he’s not feeling ready (or if he’s plotting a surprise…but i don’t want to keep getting my hopes up…). and in all honesty, i don’t even understand where this impatient-to-get-married version of myself even came from! i always imagined myself living together for a long time and building a life together first, but now that we’re doing that, i just can’t wait to be engaged! so i’m just going to try to stay calm and enjoy all that we have now, and in 2 years i’m totally going for it.
Post # 10
and in all honesty, i don’t even understand where this impatient-to-get-married version of myself even came from!
You are NOT the only one!
Post # 11
Reviving the thread a little off tangent here. Just wondering if any of you have thought of proposing after he has?
It sounds a little redundant considering but I felt that similar to how a girl feels all loved and special when proposed to, a guy should also know how she feels too. I was toying with the idea of getting him a ring and going all mushy-like.
I just can’t decide if I should just get him a ring that he can use as a wedding band, or just a cheaper ring which can be replaced by a wedding band.
Also, how should I do it? I somehow don’t think guys would appreciate their ladies dropping on one knee :p
He just popped the qn a while back so I’m seriously giving this some thought. Perhaps asking him over Christmas.
Any ideas? Thanks!!
Post # 12
I proposed to my FH. We’ve known each other since I was 14, and had been a couple for nearly 5 years. The whole reason I moved in with him 5 years ago was supposedly a “step towards getting married,” so I just went and took the step after that!
Post # 13
I proposed to my boyfriend. We had been talking about marriage for a few months, and he said that he was nervous about doing it right. I asked if he would be okay if I proposed, and he said absolutely.
I bought him an engagement ring (a carbon-fiber ring with a little inset diamond), and popped the question on new years eve, right before 2010 began. We were out walking my dog near the lake behind our rented townhouse, and it was drizzling, so I didn’t kneel, but there it was. (He had an allergic reaction to the ring, but that’s for another post). We’re getting him a simple titanium band for the wedding.
He had been working on having my ring custom-made, so when it came in two months later, he gave me my ring, and “fake-proposed”. Low-pressure, no stress. I highly recommend it!
von – I think it depends on your fiance’s style. Mine is kind of a dork, so he loves showing off his ring and telling people about how I proposed. I’m sure some guys would be embarrassed by it, but some guys really appreciate things like this.