Post # 1
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
Hello bees!
I’ve been perusing these boards since I got engaged (May 2014!) and I’m finally making my first post!
My situation is a little different than most I would say, I’m in California and FI is in St. Louis, we’ve been together 3 years now and will FINALLY be closing the gap 12/12/14 😀 I am beyond excited to be able to spend time with each other every single day and not worry about having to say goodbye in an airport.
When you don’t have the opportunity to see your loved one regularly even something as simple as holding hands is so special. Please don’t take it for granted!
Back to the point, I will be moving to MO right after we get married (here in CA) and obviously I am beyond ecstatic to start my own family but I am also so nervous about moving across the country! I will be leaving all my family and friends behind, I have never been out on my own, still living with my parents so it’s going to be complete change.
Apart from dealing with new surroundings, I’m a first generation Mexican-American and FI is caucasian and while all his family has been nothing but loving and welcoming it’s still quite a culture shock!
Are/were any other bees in an LDR and moving/moved after marrying? If so, what were some the challenges you experienced? I’d love to hear!
Sorry for the long post!
Post # 2
Member
12 posts
Newbee
I was in a similar situation.. I moved from Illinois to cali after the wedding. It was definitely an adjustment but I was excited because finally the long distance would be no more. I think the most important thing is to make your own friends. I found it difficult and I was relying on dh to always be there because I didn’t know anyone else. If he wanted a guys night out it meant I would sit home and just wait for him. I found that incredibly difficult and i felt lonely. Once I started working and making my own friends that loneliness went away and life was great. My marriage was happier too because I was no longer guilting dh to just stay in with me. It may be a huge adjustment but it is so worth it.
Post # 3
Member
5711 posts
Bee Keeper
cristalgolightly: Just wanted to say I’m also in a similar situation! My DH is in California and I’m in BC. For years he was in Washington state so we were just semi-long distance (50 miles) but we’ve now been Cali to BC for almost a year and a half, which has included our entire first year of marriage!
I’m hoping my visa will get approved soon and I’ll be able to move to be with him in the next 2 months. I’m also moving away from my home and family so am a bit nervious, but am trying to focus on all the positives. 😀
Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee
Congratulations!! I also was engaged in May actually. My fiance and I are working with about 4500 miles apart – I am in FL, USA but he is in the UK. It’s absurdly frustrating!!
Once the wedding is done (we are hoping for January though things arent set) I will be applying for a visa to move to England, so I feel you on the culture shock.
When you know it’s right, you simply do what you have to do. He has been a gem about being as involved in the planning and legal research as he can be since we will be getting married here in the states.
Good luck, and push through!
-Fran
Post # 5
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
Congratulations on your engagement! My fiance and I have been long distance for 8 years now so I am more than ready to finally be in the same place! I will be joining him in North Carolina and leaving my family and friends in the DC area. It’s not too far (5 hour drive), but I’ll still have to make new friends, find a new job, etc. I think getting settled in a workplace will definitely allow you to make friends more easily and also getting acquainted with any of your fiance’s friends and their significant others as well!
Btw, St. Louis is so much fun! I would love to spend weekends lounging around the Gateway Arch Park!
Post # 6
Member
12 posts
Newbee
I am in a LDR. I live in France and my fiancé lives in Miami. I applyed for a visa to come and live with him. The distance is so frutrating, but we have to deal with it for now. I’m expecting my arrival in Miami to be challenging at times because aside frome him, I don’t know anybody there. The culture is also very different. At first I was a bit scared, but now I really believe that as long as we are together everything will be ok and he’s going to help me go through the difficult times !
Stay positive and I am sure everything will be ok !
Post # 7
Member
18 posts
Newbee
Hi cristalgolightly: I’m from NJ, fiancé is from CO and we’re moving to San Diego after the wedding. Our relationship (5 years) has been long distance the whole time. Only during our engagement (1.5 years), he’s been closer in Georgia, but I still don’t see him very often.
Wedding planning has been stressful and the fact that I don’t see him is really hard. FaceTime rocks my world.
I would suggest that anytime anybody offers a hand to help (wedding planning, packing, etc), accept it. The closer you get to your date, the more likely it will be to feel overwhelmed an stressed. I made packing lists and started putting things in boxes a few months ago.
I’m Peruvian American, Fiancé is caucasian. I agree–it’s quite different, but I’m so thankful that his family is so sweet. I am already expecting to get homesick, but I looked up Peruvian restaurants in SoCal when I need a taste from home.
Congratulations and I hope planning goes smoothly! 🙂
Post # 8
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
polkadotpanda: Thank you for sharing! I completely agree about having your own friends, I actually tried to talk to FI about this but I think the few times we’ve spoken he’s misunderstood and taken it as “I do not want to spend time with you” I won’t have a job right away and school has been put off for financial aid reasons so I’m looking int community activities and classes we can take together as a way to meet new people! You spent so much time apart though that I’m sure in the beginning you don’t want to hang out with anyone else but each other anyways 🙂
Post # 9
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: September 2015 - Laguna Hills, CA
cristalgolightly: Hi! I have been in a LD relationship for almost 6 years. I am in California and my fiancé is in NY. We will be having 2 weddings here in LA (a traditional Nigerian wedding & an American wedding) & then I will move to NY and they will host a “Welcome” party for us in NY. Wedding planning has been good so far.. but we are just starting. We are trying to get a venue at a hotel so that all of the people who fly from NY will have less stress. I am very excited to finally close the gap and LIVE together in NY. I see my fiancé often (frequent flyer) so it doesn’t feel like an LD relationship most of the time.
Post # 10
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
Long distance engagement here 🙂 FI is in Alabama completing his PhD, and I am in New Jersey working on my Master’s. We’ve always been long distance, although in the summer we spends monhs at a time with each other.
Post # 11
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
I am also in a long distance relationship. I am in Cali and my fiancé is in Australia. Since I have a son here with family, my fiancé will move to the US when we close the gap. My fiancé can’t wait to be together so he is always talking wedding plans. I on the other hand am very busy with a full time job and raising my son but we do Skype every day. My family is not too happy about this because it means he won’t be able to work until he gets a work permit in the US. I am not worried because he has a nice savings account to tide him over. But it is disheartening when it comes to family and wedding planning so it will be more intimate, more like a destination wedding like planning.
