(Closed) Any other married couples like us? Not much sex, but we're very happy.

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Fiance and I are like this. We are very very intimate/cuddly but not much sex. Probably once a week to once every two weeks. I’m 26, he is 28. We have been together for 3.5 years. When we were in medical school, we did the deed almost every night. Now, I blame our work schedule (80 hours a week in very demanding fields) plus the fact that I have to wake up at 4:30am every morning. This means that we get into bed at 9-10pm and are so exhausted that it feels better to cuddle, unwind, and talk about the day instead of drawing up the energy for sex. We each go through times of wishing we had more sex but honestly it doesn’t bother us too much. We are physically intimate in other ways and I dont want to develop a complex about how much sex we ‘should’ be having since we are both happy!

Post # 3
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

DH and I are like this. We probably have sex 3-5 times a month. It works for us. I’m sure he would like it more.  Neither one of us is unhappy. We are very intimate in other ways. We cuddle and hold hands. We both enjoy sex when we have it. We just don’t have it as often as one would assume a newlywed couple would. But who dictates what’s normal anyway!? 

Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My DH and I are like this. We have sex maybe once a week if we are lucky. We are happy though! ๐Ÿ™‚ I am physically disabled, so sex isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

Post # 6
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are like this. I’m 23 (my bday was Monday so I’m still getting used to that lol) and he is 22. We’ve been together almost 6 years and lived together 3.5 of those. We had a lot of sex at first and I was a virgin so maybe it was because of that, but we haven’t had that much sex in literally years lol. We have sex a couple of times a month, more if we are lucky. He has a busy schedule with school and work (he has a 1.5 hour commute one way). Maybe now that we are graduating and moving closer to his job it will happen more often. When we do hae sex we always talk about having it more but it never happens. We are still happy and it works for us! 

Post # 8
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

 

Not sad, hiho, just life.

Sometimes we’re so hungry that we gorge ourselves at the all-you-can-eat-buffet, and sometimes we’re not so hungry and just have a bowl of cereal. Sometimes we’re so tired that we sleep in by several hours, and sometimes we’re practically insomniacs. Life happens. There are seasons for everything. There are needs that can be met with a little or a lot. And as life goes on, we find that our bodies are not as strong/feisty/frisky as they were a decade or two ago. This doesn’t have to lessen the attraction and desires found in a long-term romance. They just age over time, like a fine wine (so to speak.)

Just my $0.02.

Post # 9
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can take it or leave it – if Fiance were okay with it, we probably would be about the same as you. Sadly we don’t have matching libidos, and he wants it way more than me. A lot more. We probably compromise way more than he wants to, but I have had to train myself to just go for it. If you’re on the same page about it, I don’t think it matters how much or little sex you have. It is a much different story when one wants it more than the other.

Post # 10
Member
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
Cerulean5:  I think the average for married couples is like once a week. People think everyone else is having tons and tons of sex due to tv I think ๐Ÿ™‚ totally normal. 

Post # 11
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
hihothedairyo:  that’s kind of judgemental….sexuality is incredibly variable and not every relationship will need constant sex to be fulfilling. It doesn’t sound like any of these ladies lack intimacy Or are unhappy with their relationships. 

Post # 12
Member
37 posts
Newbee

My ex-DH and I were like this.. we were very affectionate but just didnt have sex (i’m talking once every 3 months).

We are both with new partners now. I have been dating my Boyfriend or Best Friend for a few months and we are intimate around 5 times a week (whenever we see each other). Ex-DH lives with his Girlfriend and they do it up to 5 times a day (crazy!)

I guess it just depends on who you are with and the chemistry you have with that person.

Post # 13
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
chubbypanda:  Just one question… how do you know how many times a day your Ex does it?! I’m honestly curious how that conversation come about, lol! 

Post # 14
Member
37 posts
Newbee

 

View original reply
rosalind:  My ex and I are still really good friends. We were talking about it over lunch this past Saturday. It’s not weird at all because it is as though we were just relaly close room-mates

Post # 15
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re quite like this too… we have sex once a week and it’s quite enough for both of us ๐Ÿ™‚

I think the main thing is that a couple’s sex drive needs to match (at least approximately..).. if one partner wants it every day and one wants it once a month, it’s going to be a cause of frustration.. but if your sex drives are well-matched then who cares as long as it works for you ๐Ÿ™‚

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