- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
I am terribly, terribly self-conscious. Especially about my weight. It stems from a lifelong battle with food. I was a chunky kid but then I thinned out in middle school. My first job was at a restaurant at 15 y/o and I gained a gross amount of weight then. And then I lost it all in a very unhealthy manner when I was in grade 12. It wasn’t an eating disorder…but it was pretty damn close. I refer to it as “disordered eating.” And then I was thin for a few years until I got pregnant. I then thought it would be a great idea to gain 60lbs in my pregnancy whic I’m still struggling to lose the last of. I’m not overweight by any means and I should be happy because I just squeezed into a pair of my motivation pants from before I was pregnant but I can’t help it.
The dress I’m looking into buying hugs my curves in all the right places and makes me look skinny so that’s good but I still can’t help but shake the terrible thoughts. =[ I’ve never been happy with myself/my body so this isn’t sometihng new. It’s just something I’d really like to work on as I don’t want to pass my confidence issues onto my daughter.
Anyway! Anyone else out there like this? Lol! Sorry for the 10 mile long explanation.