(Closed) any other woman being the one to say “not ready”

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
359 posts
Helper bee

Up until this week, I was pining for an engagement.  However, now I realize that there are issues that run deep that we need to address before we can even begin to think about “forever”.  He could show up at my office today with roses and a rock the size of Mt. Rushmore, and I’d most likely look at him and go, “Woah, there, Tiger…”

Post # 4
271 posts
Helper bee

great post!  Yes, I’ve been the hesitant one.  He was ready from the first date!  I wasn’t sure I EVER wanted to marry ANYONE.  Then I came around and, like flutterybybee, now feel that we are good for each other but have some issues to work out first.  You are not alone and I’m glad to see that I am not either Smile

Post # 5
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Had I been with another guy I think I would have been the one “not ready”! I probably would have told him “not yet” until 3 years into our relationship. I didn’t really want to get married to anyone until I was further along in my career, had lived on my own for a while, and we had known each other for a long time. 

It wasn’t until we hit 3-4 years where I realized I wanted to be with him forever. He, of course, is still not ready, but taking a while to get there myself I think I can sympathize with his position a tiny bit more than if I had been ready a year in. 

Post # 6
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

That was me about 6 yrs ago.  My now Darling Husband wanted to get married, I thought I did, realized I didn’t & canceled everything.

Darling Husband took it much better than I would have!  We stayed friends, grew closer & I got to know him better in a lot of different situations.

Eventually, we started talking about it again & this time it happened & it was good.

But, yes I definitely remember feeling not ready.  If Darling Husband had ever pressured me, I would have ended our relationship for good.  I could not have handled that.  But, he just remained the loving, stable, dependable man that he is & always made it clear he thought the world of me, but never any pressure.

Actually, he was like that from the start.  He never pushed me from our first date forward.  I love him for that!




Post # 7
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My best friend/MOH still hasn’t said yes. She’s been with her SO for 8 years they talk marriage but she always says she’s not ready yet. He actually has her ring and has officially proposed. Her response, “How sweet, but not just yet.”

Post # 8
115 posts
Blushing bee

SO & I are both not ready at this point in our lives. We’ve (he) set the time frame for 2012 so that we can each enjoy the independence a little longer (we don’t live together). I’m excited we’re headed in that direction though but I’m not in too much of a hurry!

Post # 9
365 posts
Helper bee

I told him that he is NOT to propose to me because I’ll say no.  In all honesty I don’t see us getting married ever at the moment – he’s just doesn’t have his shit sorted out.

Post # 10
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

yeah mine came through with a proposal before I expected it!  I always knew I wanted to marry him but was shocked when he proposed.  Happy he did though, being married is the best feeling for me.

Post # 11
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Yep. He was ready 3 months in and I had to help him slow his roll. lol

Post # 12
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

He’s been asking his SIL about rings and purchasing, but I gave him a timeline– He can’t propose until May 5th this year. I’m ready, but I just want to have my maters program completed before “starting something new” (wedding planning), if that makes sense. But I know for sure I’ll be expecting something every single day after May 5th!

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