(Closed) Any Other Young Bees? Advice For Young married couples?

posted 4 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Hi, me and my husband are both 21, so definitely considered to be a young married couple 😊

Youre going to get the comments on judgements on your age (we still do now even though we’re married) and you just need to brush it off and remember no one knows your relationship like the two of you. Also not everyone in there early twenties are the same, same as not everyone in their thirties has it together. 

Have you thought ahead? Where you guys both want to be in the next 5-10 years, things like career aspirations and having kids. I’d make sure you’re both on the same page and goals are compatiable before you get married, I’m sure you guys have already discussed things like this 😊

And enjoy it, I know there’s a lot of social stigma around couples being married young, but I love that we get to have this time in our lives together, get to build something together. There are definetley some positives to marrying young 😊

Post # 3
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My husband and I are 21 and just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! 🙂 I don’t regret getting married at my age at all, it has been the most wonderful blessing! Some things that we found helpful:

Talk, extensively, about your future before getting married. We went to a weekend workshop on this, but you could also find discussion topics online! (Things such as finances, children, family traditions, careers, etc.) Even if you end up agreeing on everything, it’s still good to have things laid out so that you are both on the same page!

If you’re not living together already, talk about your expectations of that! How you’ll divide housework/other chores and so on. 

Also, as the previous poster said, just let the snarky comments about your age go in one ear & out the other! This was hard for me, I have a tendency to care way too much about what people think. But just realize that it’s your relationship, and you know that you’re ready for this step! 

Some of my favorite advice that I received: “Seek to understand, before making yourself understood.” I keep this in mind during any disagreements we might have, and it helps us to keep things from escalating! Instead, we are able to have a civil conversation about the issue. 

Congrats on 7 years!! Wishing you all the best with wedding planning! 🙂 If you ever need to talk/rant, shoot me a message. I’m by no means an expert, but I understand the struggles of marrying young! 

Post # 4
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I got married at 22 and it failed so hereʻs what I wish I would have told myself then: 

1) live together for a long period of time without any breaks

2) Has he changed since youʻve been together? Make sure heʻs still able to grow and change WITH you and not already stuck in his ways

3) Do you have the same timeline of what you want in life?

4) Is he able to set hard boundaries with family/friends for you as his #1 priority?

5) Make sure heʻs looking for a marriage not just a party by watching how he acts, does he act like a bachelor whoʻs all about himself or is he a team with you?

6) Do you view money/household roles the same? 

7) Does he act the same around you as he does around his friends/family?

8) Does he actually listen to you as a person for who you are?

9) Does he share or at least support your personal dreams/goals?

10) If heʻs your first and only ever, be honest with yourself if you can be content with that for the rest of your life

 

Best of luck, I sincerely hope you guys live happily ever after 🙂 I have friends who married at 18 and just celebrated 7 years with a new baby and are insanely happy, it can happen, just be realistic and put it all out on the table beforehand

Post # 5
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My husband and I just married last month. I am 22, and he’s 24. 

I agree with PPs. Some people might look down on you, but I’ve never experienced anything like that. 

I do agree that:

1) live together for a LONG time

2) get finances straightened out. 

3) get a life goal plan for each of you, you both want to be on the same page and don’t want to hinder each other as you grow and create resentment for not achieving what you both want to do with your life. 

4) open and honest communication: do you share the same hopes and dreams? Do you both want children…when? How is family life without your SO and with? Do you both value the same things: money, possessions, family? 

5) always keep things exciting! My husband and I have been together 6 years before getting married and at times it seemed like we were roommates more than in an intimate relationship and if put a lot of stress on our relationship. 

6) if either of you have secrets, now is the time to tell! My BFF kept her credit a secret from her fiancé and it actually played a large part in ending their relationship. 

Best of luck Bee! I love being married young and building my relationship with my husband as we get to do a lot of exciting things together (we’re getting ready to move half way across the country for school together).

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