(Closed) Any others paying for their own weddings?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 16
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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futuremrswynkoop:  “we bought a house in the fall & there are so many things we want to fix up but all the money this year is going to the wedding.  Sigh”

Yup.  I sigh with you.  We bought a house a month before our wedding & didn’t do a thing to it until exactly one year after the wedding so I totally know your frustration here. 

 

Post # 17
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

We paid for the wedding ourselves. 

We are both older (late 30s and mid 40s) and are luckily to be in a relatively stable financial position to be able to afford to do so.

it is hard when I see my savings dwindle down everytime we have to set money aside for a wedding vendor. so I totally get what some of you feel as well. It is not easy but I try to focus on the positive. That and do yoga. Hah!

Post # 18
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We are paying for it ourselves. Who else would? We are adults, we have chosen to go into marriage ourselves so why would we expect money from our parents. I understand that in some places it’s a cultral thing, but when people expect money from their parents, it makes me angry. 

In saying that, my FH’s mum offered us $3000 but we refused. And then I believe his dad wanted to match it but they keep offering to pay for the transport / bar tab / something else. And my parents aren’t in a position to help (my mum or dad). 

We will go into a little bit of debt as we’ve worked our credit card pretty hard and I became unexmployed about three weeks ago (by choice) so we lose an extra $1500 – $2000 month (depending on what my commission used to be per month) but we’ll be fine. Our credit card bill should be fully paid off approx. 3-4 months after the wedding. 

I sometimes wish we eloped but it’s more the stress of the wedding planning then the costs. 

I honestly don’t know how people do it cheaper. I suspect they have a much smaller, more low-key wedding then what I’m having so that’s where I have to remind myself that I’m happy with what we’re spending and what my wedding will be. 

We believe ours will be somewhere between $38,000 – $40,000 AUD. We still have some small things to pay off so that’s why it’s subject to change. 

Post # 19
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

We’re also paying for the wedding ourselves.. though truth be told, it’s really me that’s paying for the majority of it because I’m in a much better place (financially-speaking) than my Fiance. Sometimes I do think we should’ve used this money for a house downpayment, or pay off some student loans. But I don’t want to regret not having a wedding! I’m trying to save wherever I could… I don’t know how many times I’ve gone to Jo-ann & Hobby Lobby to stock up on items using their 40% off coupons. I think the cashiers are starting to recognize me 

Post # 20
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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futuremrswynkoop:  I know what you mean when you say you could be spending the money on other things.  But a wedding can be worth it in other ways. My mom hadn’t previously spoken to some of her cousins she was close to in childhood, in a while, and this brought everyone together. They have since kept in touch and even visited my mom in the nursing home and they all came to her funeral. They were generous to me besides, but I am really glad for all the rest more than anything else. So you never know how your wedding might affect people including you. (On the other hand, it will always be disappointing the way certain others acted and have shown they do not care one thing about me or my husband, but that was the price I had to pay for all the rest, which is priceless.).

Post # 21
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

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futuremrswynkoop:  We paid for everything ourselves. While money wasn’t an issue for us, we weren’t trying to wreck our savings either. 🙂 We got everything we wanted. One thing I really loved about planning our wedding was the blissful feeling of being in absolute total control because there were no other financial strings. I really loved that!

Post # 22
Member
992 posts
Busy bee

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futuremrswynkoop:  Oh man can I sympathize. Fiance & I will close on our home about 6 weeks before our wedding. When we got engaged last September (which feels like FOREVER ago), we had already been setting aside about 1/2 our take-home pay to save up for a down payment, so we did some quick math to figure out how much we could reasonably afford to spend on a wedding without cutting deeper into our current finances and without drastically pushing back our house-buying timeline. That amount turned out to be about $5K, so that’s what we set as a wedding budget.

It means a lot of DIY and cost cutting whereever we can, but in the end, it’s all going to be worth it. A few of the biggest cost-saving choices we’ve made are: buying a pre-loved dress, DIY-ing all the flowers/bouquets/centerpieces, and opting for an inexpensive dinner (a buffet of italian food – chicken parm, various pastas, salad, and bread…comes out to about $10/guest but is so yummy!).

Post # 23
Member
12819 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We did not pay, and as much as I loved our beautiful wedding, there was no way I  would have invested our then life savings in an expensive reception. If it had come to that, I would not have necessarily eloped, but would  have done something simple, for example JOP followed by a restaurant celebration for our closest family. Then, one day, maybe an anniversary party as nice as anything. 

Post # 24
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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jmarisec: and muguet: SNAP! It’s frustrating when people provide unsolicited opinions about little things which all add up which they are expecting you will be having – intricate centre pieces and other detailed decorative bits. We’re going by remembering the good bits from others’ weddings – as the bits that stick in our minds. Mostly – good company, good food and good fun! Fortunately, our reception venue is in gorgeous Georgan period rooms with original features so I’m going with the less is more look!

Post # 25
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

we are paying for every penny of our $35,000+ wedding, litterally not a red cent from anyone!!!!

Post # 26
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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KC-2722:  I’m in the same boat as you. I knew we were paying for our wedding and didn’t expect anything different. We have an allocated budget that we saved up but I still have difficulty parting with my money.

Post # 27
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We are paying for everything ourselves. Thank goodness we both got raises in the last month! lol

Post # 30
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We are paying for our wedding too. It’s a second wedding for me; first for his. We are both in our late 30’s and independent. I do expect a nicer wedding present from my parents, but they won’t be paying for the wedding itself. We are having a private civil ceremony at the courthouse and then a wedding reception for about 100 people.

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