(Closed) Any others paying for their own weddings?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 46
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

We paid for our own wedding. I have a hard time understanding why people nowadays think that their parents should pay for a party for them.

Post # 47
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

Our wedding is low budget because we are paying for it ourselves, we don’t want a big wedding, and we don’t make a lot of money. I’m a nursing assistant and Fiance is a diesel mechanic. We are also in the middle of buying our first house as well as improving our credit and I have animals and outbuildings to get started.

My adoptive dad wants to pay for our wedding but I told him NO. There is no reason for it because it’s not needed. He paid $8000 for his son’s wedding. His son’s was traditional which included a private venue, rehearsal, bridal party, groom’s party, plated dinner, decorations, flowers, music, photographer, and 75 guests.

Ours will be quite different because it will include our own property as the venue, catered barbecue, my biological dad as the photographer, and 20 guests or less for a 5 minute standing ceremony. My guests are family only. Decorations will be the altar only and iPod music to drown out the farm critter noises during dinner. We live in scenic outdoor recreation so there is plenty of activities to do. 

I sort of wanted a nicer wedding when we first got engaged, but those feelings quickly vanished. I only care about being present with my dearest loved ones on that special day. 

I think it’s normal and fine to want one’s parents to desire to help, out of love if they can. But if it’s not possible than you can hope to recoup the money loss through gifts you receive. That’s what my Grandma told me, lol. My grandma always gives a nice cash gift at weddings though. 

Post # 49
Member
8751 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
futuremrswynkoop:  we paid for 1/2 of our wedding (which was still a huge amount of money) and one thing that helped was a 0% interest credit card so we could float a few deposits. I would never recommend this method unless you have steady, stable income and are extremely disciplined because of the risk for not having it paid off before the interest rate hikes to something ridiculous, but if you’re super good with money then it can be helpful. We were able to take an extra 2-3 months to pay for the excess over our savings because we knew we had that money coming to us and we made the final payment when we got back from the honeymoon and never paid a dime in interest. 

Post # 50
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

My fiancé and I are eloping. My parents can’t/ won’t help us. He just graduated and has student loans. I refuse to take loans and have a year of school left. We wanted a wedding, but we’ve been given the opportunity to purchase a home for 150k less than we could have if we waited (buying through family).

We decided we’d fly back to my hometown and elope. It’ll still cost about 1500 for everything, but it’s a lot cheaper than having a wedding and on our 10 year anniversary, we can have a vow renewal ceremony.

I’m not going to lie, it kind of bums me out seeing Bees in their wedding dresses, but for us, this is what makes sense right now. 

Post # 51
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We basically did. My parents gave us a lump sum of money and told us to either use it for the wedding or for our house down payment. We chose to use it for our house down payment and paid for the wedding out of our own money. Had it not been for my parents generosity, we would have paid for the wedding and delayed home purchasing. Their help allowed us to do both within 4 months of each other. We found a home almost immediately after we started looking, so purchased it first.

Post # 52
Member
6269 posts
Bee Keeper

Yup us too. We liked the idea of eloping but like the OP I didn’t want to regret not having a wedding. So we are planning a small ceremony afternoon and reception – then a big party in the night. I’m not having bridesmaids, I’ll be looking at preowned wedding dresses when it comes to choosing and we won’t be hiring cars or anything like that.

 

My SO is paying for our honeymoon as he kinda asked me what I wanted –  big flashy wedding and smaller honeymoon (and smaller diamond!) or stylish (hopefully) cermony and fun party and more extravagant honeymoon. I chose to go big on honeymoon and diamond!

 

We will jointly pay for our wedding day and hope it will be lovely and friends and family will enjoy And the party will be fun. The funds we have, we’ve chosen to spend on good food and entertainment and music for the day.   Paying for it ourselves is nice as although it means I have to look where to cut costs, it also means we don’t have any drama of people who are contributing wanting their say. We can have it just the way we want it. 

Post # 53
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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futuremrswynkoop:  We paid for our own actual wedding and most of the vendors. My parents paid for the flowers and my dress, and my inlaws paid for the engagement party and rehearsal (the rehearsal was just my brothers, my sister in laws, me/my husband, and my parents.

Post # 54
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

We did.  We paid for everything ourselves from start to finish and the honeymoon too.  Never asked for help from family and never wanted to.  We were already established in our careers and had always taken care of everything ourselves so we knew how to manage our finances for the wedding we wanted.  This way, we also got to make all of the decisions ourselves.

Post # 55
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee

We are paying for our own wedding! His family did gift us some money but we owe them money so we told them thanks but please keep it. It can be frustrating and hard, ecspecially with everything costing so much! I really thought we weren’t going to be able to do it. But we finally found somewhere that will work for us, and I couldn’t be happier.

the most frusturating part has been my moh. She was going to some venues and doing some things with me. And whenever something was too much I would say no that’s not an option. And she would just be like, “oh who cares, it’s not that much more?!,” not for you, because you aren’t paying for it! Our budget is smaller and one place we went to was literally double and she was just like it’s not that much more. I stopped bringIng her to venues. I can’t wait until she gets married and understands a budget!

Post # 56
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Yep, I am paying for my wedding as well. One because it is the second time around, and two because my Fiance and I have been together for 10 years and are in a place with good jobs where we can plan and decide what we want to do without any outside influence.

I think there is a sort of great freedom in paying for your wedding yourself, because you only have to meet your own expectations (or adjust them if you wanted a really big wedding). In the end it is only one day, make it smaller and more personal, splurge on one or two things that are meaningful to you, and just try and enjoy yourself and not get consumed by the finances. If you are not in a place to have the wedding of your dreams, plan what you can afford now and in the future have a fabulous vow renewal party when you two are better off financially.

Post # 57
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee

We are paying for our own wedding and wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Post # 58
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

We paid for it ourselves as well. We both work part-time, so it was definitely way more inexpensive than most weddings we’ve been to. But we did plan from the beginning to pay ourselves!

Post # 59
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee

We are paying for our own wedding. I did tons of research before we even got engaged to figure out a budget. Luckily my Fiance is saver so we have most of the funds. But, we are doing a break minimum wedding. I wish we could afford more of the frills and things but that’s not what it’s about, and we are already paying a lot of money for our wedding, neither of us could imagine shelling more money out for something that we won’t remember. It’s a big reality check the difference between your dream wedding and the wedding you can afford. Luckily, I don’t even care anymore ,even though our wedding will still be gorgeous, but I just want to marry him. 

Post # 60
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We paid for our own wedding. Ours was crazy cheap. We didn’t bother with decorations, fancy cars (my Pa has one anyway) and all kinds of other stuff. Father-In-Law paid for our wedding cake as his present to us. Apart from that we paid all on our own.

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