i’m SO GLAD you guys chimed in. I was watching the thread, thinking, “oh no … oh no.. it IS only me on here! Is anyone out there??” haha!
My experience has been unexpected — and somewhat disappointing in some ways. It’s my first marriage (“only”! as Bridedenise said). And what I want to say is, I guess: I am a successful, intelligent, independent person, yes — but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to spends hours and hours looking at dresses, and laughing with friends about hairdos, and making flower-girl head wreaths out of vintage flowes, and…. You know?
To my slight disappointment, I’ve found friends and family not really participating with me, and even being a bit negative or judgmental that I’m being so bride-y. I went dress shopping alone. Fittings alone. Planning menu alone, invitations alone, etc. My mom didn’t even come along. (I think this is partly because she’s from the 1960s generation when bridey-bride wedding obsession wasn’t considered cool at all. So to her, she is probably surprised that I’d want to go kind of whole-hog bride route. I mean, my wedding isn’t terribly conventional — no garter toss, no bridesmaids, etcc– but it’s very much a weddingy wedding wedding .)
Logistics — life — seems to get in the way more, when we’re older, I think. We’re having a destination wedding, and — this was hugely disappointing — about half the people who initially said “yes, we wanna come!” changed their minds later, and so it’s a very small group. Even my best friend, who was going to do a reading during the wedding ceremony, isn’t coming! I think this AWOL-friends is largely because all those friends/family are married, have kids, super-busy lives– so it isn’t as easy to get away or participate as it might have been when we were all 29 and single, without mortgage payments…. right? Anyway, it’s my fiance’s second marriage… and not a SINGLE member of his family is making the trip! I was really depressed about this about a week ago, but I’ve sucked it up and am back to being superhappy about what we DO have.
I think, actually, that I’m more grateful for every little bit of marriage (and hopefully marital) joy, exactly BECAUSE I found love so “late.” Sometimes I read people on here moaning/depressed/furious because their seventh bridesmaid refused to wear the right hair clip; or because their aunt couldn’t make it to the third dress fitting, and I think: “WOW. I’m so happy I’m able to BE happy to be having this wedding!”
It’s all good.
(Sorry so long-winded.)