(Closed) Any SAHWs or Bees who can't work?

posted 4 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
489 posts
Helper bee

Not me but my mum. She stopped working after she had me because she got sick. She could go out occasionally but she used to read and watch tv and spend time with me. I realised later how it affected her and she has said she was depressed for a time.

I know she used to do a lot of craft to keep busy, and she still does now. And catching up with friends nearby, not going out but just having people over for coffee or going to their place, where she didn’t have to ‘keep up appearances’.

All the best with everything. And remember you arent lazy, youre not well. And youre still being a parent which is a pretty tough job in itself. Find some things you like to do. So many people I know have home-based hobbies that they devote a lot of time to, and noone would say they are inmotivated or lazy. And the ones that do, well they obviously dont understand and should be ignored!

Post # 3
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t have any advice to offer yet, but unexpectedly I’m about to find myself in the situation of being a Stay-At-Home Wife (at least temporarily) and am very interested to see what others have to say.

My husband just accepted an out-of-the-blue job offer and we’ll be moving to (what I consider to be) a very small town of about 3500 people about 4 hours away from where we live now. I currently work for a local government agency, so it’s not possible to work remotely. I’ll try to find a job where we move, but so far it doesn’t seem like many opportunities are available (and I’m not really wanting to settle working for $9 doing something random that I’m not interested in after almost a decade of experience in my career). I’m also going to look into some opportunities to work online doing something.

I’m sure I will stay busy for a while getting our house unpacked and organized, but after that, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. We don’t know anyone in the town either, so I’ll have to make some friends before I have the chance to spend my time socializing with them. We have discussed that I could be a Stay-At-Home Mom when we have kids, but we don’t have them yet and aren’t currently TTC, so I’m at a loss for what I’ll do now that we’ve had this change in plans. I’ve been putting together of list of things to help me stay busy including:

  • Cooking healthy meals
  • Exercising
  • Taking the dog for looooooong walks
  • Unpacking/organizing the house
  • Putting together a routine cleaning schedule and sticking to it
  • Taking over “home administrative work” that my husband currently does like paying bills, filing important papers, etc.
  • Learning more about retirement planning
  • Volunteering
  • Pursuing some new hobbies (maybe photography, sewing, graphic design)
  • Gardening (if we find a place to live where this is possible)
  • Refinishing some old furniture
  • Finally putting together photo albums of our engagement and honeymoon 
  • Learning about website design/html
  • Taking some time to travel to visit family members I haven’t seen in a while
Post # 4
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

You might have a bit of cabin fever. I think you really need to get outside–even if the weather is bad. If you are well enough to do so start with short walks around the block and build up to spending time in a nature preserve or park. 

Post # 5
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

ms1984:  I don’t work at the moment either and am at home all day except for when I go out to meet friends or get groceries! 

Being a stay at home has been quite new to me but I’m pretty busy all day:

1) I’ve been learning how to cook – I can’t cook much so been brushing up on pinterest recipes for AIP / Paleo stuff! I cook lunch and dinner every day; since I’m so crappy at it, it usually takes me twice as long to get anything done. 

2) Household chores

3) Exercise – I have all the time in the world to run or walk on the treadmill now so I typically work out between 1.5 to 2 hours a day. 🙂 I also bought a Fitbit so it helps keep me on track with goals etc. 

4) Wedding Planning – Since we are not married yet, I spend about an hour or two on this everyday  

5) Reorganizing our home – I just fully moved in so every day I spend a little bit of time clearing more space for my shoes. Haha! 

Post # 6
3185 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

ms1984:  I have a chore lust and go for a walk around the neighborhood. I’ve been trying a lot of pinterest recipes. Some good some but all in all an experience. And finally wedding planning.

Post # 7
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I had to stop working a regular full time job after having some health issues, which started over a year ago. I actually just got my diagnosis last week and perhaps with treatment I will be able to live more normally again but there is no cure or one fool proof treatment. So I’ve been at home for the last year and working part time as a freelance photographer, which brings in just a bit of extra income for us. I definitely went through depression, it was very hard for me to adjust to this new way of existing, I still miss the old me, I had so much energy and drive before. I do all the cooking and housekeeping though which does help to keep me busy and I also have a food blog, so I will on occasion work on new recipes, photograph them and make a post. My fiance owns his own business and works from home and is very busy, so I also offer to help him in any small ways that I can, or focus on how I can make his day easier. Finding something that makes you feel productive is so important, it’s just whatever you can manage. 

Post # 9
3007 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I feel similarly to you, that I’m a much better “working wife” than homemaker. I lost my job in the 2008 recession and was unemployed for a little under two years. It was a difficult time in my life, and I was really depressed.

What I did was plan frequent house-parties, cook all of the delicious things, do various arts and crafts, go back to college to pursue a different career, go outside to walk in parks, and run all of my husband’s annoying errands. I also found time to volunteer a couple of hours every week at my local food bank.

I hope you can find meaning in life without work. It can be tricky! But I think of how unbalanced my life is with a full-time job – I am making a difference in others’ lives, but I don’t have the time or the energy to pursue my hobbies, maintain my personal relationships, or even keep up with my favorite TV shows! Looking forward to taking a step back to focus on my personal life when my baby arrives.

Post # 10
10649 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I do spend a fair bit of time in bed and on the couch because of fatigue.  I sometimes have serious problems if I do more than that, just going to a doctor’s appointment can lead to a flare.  It depends on the day.

I feel like I spend a fair bit of time with medical appointments and pickups at pharmacies and hospitals.  I’ve also attended various health related sessions.

When I have energy I run errands and comparision shop, especially for items I don’t need right away.  For Christmas gifts, I would take a look at a few stores before deciding what to buy.  Recently, I needed a new gardening tool and so I went to multiple places, seeing how various ones felt in my hand.

I do exercise classes when I can.  I go out for lunch with a friend or find a group that’s doing something during the day.  When I’ve been kinda iffy but not horrible on a nice day I went to a small park a few houses down with a book, sat on the bench but was able to chat with some people walking their dogs.

Last summer, on days when I was doing better I used up most of my energy watering my garden using the rain barrels instead of the hose.  It was hot and barely rained (was filling one up with ground water) so that could be done daily.  It would take a minimum of an hour to water everything that way, so with adding in breaks and then taking care of bugs/weeds I could easily fill the whole day until Darling Husband got home just doing that.

In bed/on the couch, it’s podcasts, netflix, books, puzzle types of games – computer or books like sudoku, and of course the internet is a great time suck.

Throw in stuff other people also do, laundry, cooking and cleaning and I can fill my day.

Personally, what I find to be the most difficult is there are often things I want to do, but just can’t.  Like I had to put off checking out a store for more than a week because I just wasn’t well enough to go out.  I hate spending so much time on the couch but my condition is serious with a fairly high mortality rate so avoiding triggering it as much as possible is pretty important.

Post # 12
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

ms1984:  I’m currently underemployed and I recently signed up for my local YMCA. The facility is brand new and super fancy and I’m loving all their classes. I love the community vibe at the Y – it’s definitely more forgiving than a regular gym and full of normal people! I’ve never signed up for a gym other than trying a 7 day pass here or there and I was soo nervous to go. But going to the yoga classes gives me something that forces me out of the house and the endorphins definitely boost my mood and energy. Keep going – it gets easier and the sensation of being watched wears off after awhile lol!

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