(Closed) Any things you’re NOT doing?

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is it terrible that I’m trying REALLY hard to think of something and coming up blank?! UGH! That’s a sign you’ve taken on a lot huh?! LOL! I guess the only thing we’re really skipping is the bouquet/garter toss.

Post # 4
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think anyone will miss the programs so I wouldn’t worry about it!

I am not doing/or did not do seen as I am only 3 weeks out!

  • engagement party
  • announcements
  • programs
  • favours
  • Night before wedding apart
  • Menus

Post # 5
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Things we skipped:



-Send off things (rose petals, rice, bubbles, etc)

-Renting limos

-Table numbers (we had open seating)

Post # 6
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

So far what we’ve opted out of are an engagement party, sending paper Save-The-Date Cards and hiring a professional DJ.  Maybe more will be added to the list, who knows!

Post # 7
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I have no idea what is “expected.”  We went for those things that were meaningful to us, and left out anything that wasn’t.

To keep a sense of perspective about this, think back to the last wedding you attended.  What do you remember about it?  Brides will often obsess about something like an ugly ceiling, but I’ve never heard of a wedding guest saying, “The wedding was lovely, all except that ugly ceiling!”

The last wedding I had attended before ours was my brother’s.  I looked back at some of the pictures from his when we were planning ours.  Until I checked, I had forgotten that the bride wore a simple white dress (not a “wedding” dress), that there were no flowers in the church (not even bouquets), that my brother had worn a sports coat and dress pants instead of a suit or tuxedo, or that the cake was made by an amateur.  Instead, I remembered how happy the bride and groom were, how many members of both families were there, how lovely the reception venue (a bed and breakfast overlooking the ocean) was, how there was plenty of good food and drink, and how there was lots of music at both ceremony and reception.

Thus, when our wedding came around, we focused on the things that were most important for us when we were wedding guests.  We rented a lovely old Victorian house with plenty of room for all the guests for the night before the wedding and the wedding night, so that we would be able to have unstructured time with the close family and friends we invited to the wedding.  We provided plenty of delicious food and drink.  (Lobster and filet mignon were among the entree choices.)  We selected our ceremony music with care, and had a live musician at our reception.  But we had no engagement rings or honeymoon, plain gold bands for wedding rings, minimal ceremony decorations, dresses that came from a consignment store, and a cake baked by my wife which was delicious but which had only minimal decoration.

And looking at the above lists, we skipped pretty much all the stuff mentioned except programs (we had a Jewish ceremony with a lot of nonJewish guests, so we wanted explanations of what was going on) and menus (but we only had two of those for the whole reception, not individual ones.

Post # 8
510 posts
Busy bee

So far we’re not doing:

-Engagement party

-Bouquet/ Garter toss

-Parent/ child dances (my dad passed 1.5 yrs ago) 🙁

-Boutineres (sp?) for the GMs

-possibly engagement pics


…I think that’s it as of now:)

Post # 9
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We left out…

Engagement party, engagement pics, STD’s, menus (buffet dinner), garter/bouquet toss, special dances, limo, sending off, DJ, traditional cake. Our guests appreciated not having to watch tosses and dances!

Post # 10
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We did most of of the “big” things but we did skip bouquet and garter tossing… and I kind of wish we had done them! But things like programs and favors often aren’t missed, so I say pass on them if they aren’t important to you! They were fun projects for us.

Post # 11
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We didn’t do:

– Bridesmaids and groomsmen !

– Rehearsal dinner

– Programs

– Bouquet toss

Post # 13
1254 posts
Bumble bee

Leaving out engagement party, engagement pictures, the services of a florist, wedding cake, bouquet/garter toss, parent/child dance, favors, send-off, and limo. I’m still undecided on a rehearsal dinner, program and menu. We are also adding backyard games because it is fitting for our venue.

Post # 14
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


–Escort cards and table numbers, and menus because we’ll have open seating and heavy hors d’oeurves

–Engagement party

–Flower girl and ring bearer (we love kids but the only one we’re close enough to right now to do it is not old enough)

–“Traditional” ceremony music

–Choreographed dance OR the 7th grade sway.  Our first dance song is blue grass so things will be a litte more upbeat.

–Save the dates

–Bouts for the men.  It was one of the only things Fiance felt really strongly about. 

Post # 15
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

At this point, we are not doing:


-bouquet/ garter toss

-dancing of any kind (not our thing)


-engagement party/ pics

-anything for the send off

-flower girl/ ring bearer

-assigned seating/ escort cards/ table numbers

We will also probably go to dinner the night or two nights before but we are not doing a rehearsal dinner in the traditional sense.

Post # 16
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Trying to think: 

-Tons of details that you see in the magazines. I am not sure if people expect those things, but it feels like it sometimes. We won’t have a midnight snack, or photobooth, everything DIYed etc… Some of this is for financial reasons and some for emotional health reasons, lol I will have details, but not anything crazy

-Traditional ceremony music. We chose a classical guitarist and music we love…no pachebel canon in D for us…

-Favors…we will have signs asking people to take peaches from our centerpieces home in paper bags that we provide, but no other favor.

-Flower centerpieces: Our centerpieces are peaches (fruit!) in glass vases.

-A bouquet toss and garter toss…a garter toss looks embarrassing so the whole thing got thrown out.

-A money dance…FI’s side of the family expects it and we won’t be doing it.

-Cake that is 1 flavor…I have heard that is most common…we are offering 4 flavors!

-Bride bouquet will not white flowers. My bridesmaids will have white flowers and I will have yellow/light orange roses.


The topic ‘Any things you’re NOT doing?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors