- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
FIs been bugging me lately and I feel like he’s not taking the wedding seriously. Maybe it’s because I come from a family where tradition is important and he doesn’t, but it seems like the idea of hosting a formal-ish event is completely ridiculous to him. Like, my ideal wedding is in a church, semiformal to formal attire, followed by a dance reception (country/tejano music, mostly couples dancing). He would like a quick jeans and a tshirt ceremony and no reception.
When we try to compromise, it just feels so wrong. He doesn’t ask for much, so I try to oblige when I can, but sometimes it goes against every fiber of my being. Like I have my dress (long, tulle, sequin) and my Maid/Matron of Honor and I have worked out attire for the BMs (long, satin, gold accessories). He wants to wear a kilt (he’s not from any country that wears kilts) and he wants it to be pink. That’s in our color scheme, I say ok because it’s his wedding too. I find someone who can make a hot pink silk kilt. He says, “I don’t want it to be silk, that’s too fancy. I’d feel weird trying to wear it again.” I tell him the person can also make a matching vest or tie, he says, “I never said I wanted to wear that. I don’t know what I want to wear on top.” To which I say that at the very least he needs a tie and jacket. “I want to wear a hot pink denim kilt and a wife beater.”
Now I know he’s fucking with me, but still!! Then, he gets mad that the dance music is all the music me/my family likes. Considering they’ll be the majority of the guest list and it’s the music we (myself included) like to dance to, it makes sense. His family doesn’t really dance. They’re fun people though who’d probably get out on the floor regardless. Either way, he says we should play their kinda music too. What kind is that? Rock and techno, bob your head and half jump up and down kinda music. We’ve agreed that we’ll have some of his, but you can’t really dance to it! I feel like we’ll have this great party atmosphere and then Enter Sandman will start playing and kill the mood.
He also doesn’t want to go to the reception. He wants to hermit up somewhere away from people and leave me to attend the reception alone. People always say it’s the bride’s day, etc. I wish it was just my wedding. I wouldn’t have to work around his nonsense. And everytime I think we’ve reached a compromise, he says, “this weddings gonna suck. It’s all what you want and I just have to suck it up.” Well, babe, you aren’t the only one!
I promise I’m generally very laid back, do what you will, but I love people and I love parties and socializing. Fiance doesn’t. I also know how to throw and attend a formal event. FI doesn’t, nor does he have any desire to. He doesn’t seem to understand that as much as it seems like I’m “making him” do, there’s so much more I wish I’d be able to do, but have had to cut back for his sake. It’s so frustrating!