(Closed) Any waiting bees tired of living in two different places?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GirlNextDoor:  Oh boy that would make me crazy. SO and I have lived together since 2 weeks after we started offically dating, so I can’t imagine doing that! I hope it comes soon for you so you can only have one house! Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

@GirlNextDoor:  I’m in almost exactly the same situation as you. I own a home with my sister and my boyfriend rents in a house his friend owns. We’re only about 10mins away as well but the constant back and forth is so hard. Packing bags, trying to remember what clothes I’ll need for tomorrow, if I have gym class I need those clothes too, do I need my hairdryer etc etc Plus, as you mentioned, trying to keep up with cleaning and laundry at both places.

I also sometimes feel really unfair to my sister because a lot of the cleaning and laundry falls to her because I’m trying to live between two places. But I refuse to live together until we get engaged so hopefully we’ll get past this soon.

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

OK. So This WAS me. back when SO and I started dating we were young and poor. I was still living at home and his living situation was *ahem*less then Ideal. But we played house in his man-cave for 2 of the then 3.5 years we were dating. Thankfully he’s place was only 3 blocks from my parents house but the constant back and forth sucked! By the end of the time he lived there I had a bag and a half of laundry and most of my day to day stuff there. It was so great when we finally moved in together a year and a half ago (5 year anni this Sunday). It is like all of my things were just waiting for our appartment. My sister moved into my old room (something she has been waiting for for over 10 years) and it looks 100X better as her room then it ever did as mine.

My SO and I never lived so good as we do now that we live together.

No Advise, just my story.

Post # 6
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m not in quite that situation, but I live at home with my parents and in a different state for school. SO lives with his parents in my home state. Last year I used to be 2-3 days in school state and the rest of the time back home, but starting the fall I’ll only be home for weekends and the rest of the time away 🙁

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

OMG I am so sick of being in 2 different places!! I live 30 minutes from my SO and we see each other 3 times a week and it is almost always me going up there. I am constantly forgetting something and 30 minutes is too far to run home and get it. It drives me crazy and I think it is a big part of me wanting to move things forward and he doesn’t get it because he doesn’t have to bounce from place to place like me. My kids and I were at his house the other day and he was like “let’s go swimming” which meant I had to unpack our clothes from camping and try to find our bathing suits. I said “next summer we should have extra swim suits for the kids and I here at your house” and he told me “don’t rush things” I could have killed him! Just to clarify this isn’t about me keeping stuff at his house he actually wants me to have more stuff there and I am resisting because I don’t live there. I think he thinks we can still get married by next summer even though I told him I need a year to get everything in order to move up there. Some days I just want to shake him! lol

Post # 8
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee

Yes yes yes!!! Its so crazy hard to keep up with laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. I do almost all the cooking and laundry for both of us, so I will have to carry over food (and even my fave pots/pans, his stink) to make dinner, and then I will bring the laundry back to my place (he doesnt have a washer/dryer). I think this is the thing I am most looking forward to about being married – living in the same place, being guaranteed to see each other every day, even if its just before bed or sleeping together.

Post # 9
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This is my life!! My SO each have our own apartments and they are 20-30 mins away from each other depending on traffic. I have a drawer at his place and he has a drawer at mine. We both have toiletries at each house. Luckily my SO owns a hair dryer, so at least I have one at each place. I bought an extra brush and round brush for his place. My apartment has only 1 washer and 1 dryer for 7 apts so it’s a pain to do laundry, so I do all my laundry at SO’s house. Its a pain!!  I only have one set of makeup (its expensive) so i either drag it around with me or i have to come home in the morning to finish getting ready before i leave for school/work. I keep about 4 pairs of shoes in my car. I can never find anything and it drives me insane! Additionally, I have a nice vacuum and it doesn’t make sense for him to buy a vacuum because one day we will only need one. So we are constantly lugging a vacuum back and forth. We also both have pets so sometimes SO is like, I’d love to stay with you tonight, but I need to check on the animals at my place.  Last week I needed to wear a suit for a work thing and realized that my suit was at my place but all my professional shirts were in SO’s closet bc I had just washed them. Nothing like waking up at the crack of dawn and starting your day with 40 mins of unnecessary driving to make sure you have what u need!

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

@HeartsandSparkles:  We are living parallel lives lol! I have often had to drive by my work exit to go back to my apartment for work clothes that I forgot! So fun to get up super early and still get to work late because I had to drive all over the state!!  I finally bought a second pair of glasses for his house because I was sick of forgetting them and having to keep my contacts in. My house is always a disaster because I come home to grab something and drop off dirty laundry and head back out. I came home last night to stinky garbage and flies because I forgot to take it out on Tuesday and I was at his house. Fan-freaking-tastic! 

Post # 11
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@impatientlywaiting20:  Omg, true story!! Somehow I AM always late, even though I wake up super early!! So frustrating!! And I have the same problem keeping everything clean! I don’t have a dishwasher so old dirty dishes are waiting for me in my sink- yuck! Hopefully we don’t have to do this too much longer!!

Post # 12
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate

Had to post, cause this is also exactly me.  My SO and I live about a 10 minute drive from each other, and spend almost every night at one of our houses.  Its exhausting to have to clean my apt and help out w his too!  He has mentioned that when his lease is up next June we may be living together, and he knows my rule of no living together before an engagement.  So, hopfully won’t be too long until I wont have to be living at 2 places :).

Post # 14
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

YES. At least the two of you aren’t in different states! Spending three days a week in Texas and four in Oklahoma gets old really fast.

Post # 15
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Love this post! Yes i HATE having 2 “homes” so much. I live with my parents and He owns a townhouse about 10 minutes from me. I refuse to officially move in until we’re engaged, so until  then, back and forth I go. soo annoying!!!  And let’s not talk about all the crap in my car…I hate being a bag lady lol. 

Post # 16
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

@EffieTrinket:  I like your new username! 🙂

 

Fiance are currently in a situation like this. We live 10 minutes apart, and I’m there 99.8% of the time, but have not ‘permanently’ moved in. It’s insane. I stay at home when I go to sleep, although I have to get up early and trudge to FI’s house for classes online…and work…and then back to my house. URGH.

(I should officially move in soon, so it won’t be an issue any more..since we are engaged…but this whole waiting-in-between thing is crazy.)

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