Post # 1
A little background on me, I grew up Catholic, and was baptized catholic. I never made my first communion or confirmation, but I am currently attending RCIA classes and will make both this Easter Vigil.
The funny part is, Fiance and I aren’t even having a full mass, which is why everyone assumes I am doing this now (so we can have a mass). I just think I’m at a point in my life where I want to be Catholic like my soon to be husband, as we intend to raise our children Catholic as well.
My only concern about having a Catholic ceremony is I’m not sure if they are all the same? This may sound silly but the thing i love MOST at weddings is when the priest says “I know pronnounce you husband and wife”… but at every Catholic ceremony I’ve been too, they don’t do that. And I don’t like how many times the bride and groom are barely together the entire time. Is this common?
I just really don’t want to be disappointed in our ceremony, and I’m afraid I will be, that it won’t be everything I want. Did anyone else feel this way, or was anyone able to “customize” their ceremony more to their taste?
Post # 3
I am a born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school and all. Every wedding ceremony I have ever been to, the priest does say ” I now pronounce you husband and wife” at the very end before they go walking down the aisle. I just had my orientation with the church this past weekend and they gave us so many options to “customize” our wedding. You get to choose songs, reading and even vows. There are a few catholic traditions you can include if you want such as the flowers to Mary and the big rosary worn around the couple. I don’t ever remember the bride and groom being separated during the ceremony. They always sat together at the front of the church on the bride and groom bench right in front of the altar. Just talk to the priest and I’m sure they will work with you and your wants. Good Luck!
Post # 4
I have no idea if the Deacon pronounced us husband and wife. I don’t think so. He might of said something like “you are husband and wife” but since he isn’t the one who performs the sacrament, (in Catholicism brides and rooms administer the sacrament of marriage to each other)
You might be able to ask him to say it after the part where he says “the mass has ended” (though you aren’t having a mass, so whatever they would say then). You will have already been married, but you can hold off on the kiss till the very end if you want.
You can write your own prayers of the faithful. It seems minor like “whoopee other brides plan their whole wedding ceremonies” but it can be really nice. If there are poems or something, you can include those in the program.
Post # 5
We were announced, he just didn’t say “You may now kiss the bride.” We were told during rehearsal that he wouldn’t but he told us when we could… lol. We held hands the entire wedding and every Catholic wedding I’ve seen (I’ve been to an obscene number as I work in the wedding industry) they’ve been “together” so I’m not sure what you mean by apart.
You can customize your music as long as it’s “liturgical” music. You can’t have somewhere over the rainbow or here comes the bride. BUT, songs like those are popular so by choosing a piece other than those you’ve already begun customizing your wedding to be different than the majority of weddings secular or religious. We used contemporary/charismatic Catholic music for our wedding and it was so fun and joyful. You get to choose the readings, choose the blessings, and even get to do the petitions.
Overall, a lot of times Catholic weddings tend to be more “out of the ordinary” than the rest. A usual non-catholic wedding is the entrance, a short invocation, MAYBE a reading, a short sermon/talk (5-10 min. max), and wham bam your done. Theres a lot more to even non-mass Catholic weddings… most your guests will def. feel the difference!
Post # 6
The Rite of Marriage does not call for the priest or deacon to say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” But not all hope is gone! This doesn’t mean that he can’t sneak in a phrase that says, “Please give a round of applause for the new Mr. & Mrs.” Talk to your priest about this.
Post # 7
@doxie: As mentioned, the declaration of “husband and wife” is usually dictated by the state. Some states have very specific and defined vows that you must take and ways to pronouce the official marriage. The priest or deacon should know the laws of your state and help you with what is allowed.
As far as the bride and groom “barely together”, that is not right at all. Once the bride and groom are joined at the alter, they should not be separated. They should sit together, pray together, receive communion together, take vows together, and be blessed together. Really, they should never be apart during the ceremony and it would be very strange if they were separated.