Post # 1
My wonderful SO is going to be working in deep sea shipping after he graduates next spring. The type of ship he’ll be working on has a rotation of 3 months on, 3 months off. He’s been on several ships for this length of time, but this type of ship was different in that his only form of communication was through choppy Internet. There’s something so much more personal about a phone call than an email, so that was what made this ship in particular harder than the others that he was able to call off of. However, despite a lot of stressful life events happening during that time and the months dragging by, we handled it well and picked up right where we left off when he came back. I would definitely say that we were even more sure of ourselves after this period, and it’s just been getting better and better. 🙂
We’ve talked a timeline and a proposal will probably be sometime early next year. I have no doubts about our relationship, but him being gone for 3 months at a time from the very beginning of our life together as a married couple is a little daunting. Are there any wives on the Bee whose husbands are gone for long stretches of time? Any advice, regrets, tips, stories? We would both love a big family, so how does family life work if you have children?
Post # 2
With my ex, either he was deployed or I was deployed for the majority of our relationship. Very stressful at times, obviously, with very little contact. It was very easy to become complacent and be taken, which is comforting, without putting in the effort. So, I will be in the advice column saying that the distance isn’t going to be that bad as long as you continue to put in the effort. Make your emails count, say all the things that you are thinking, even if it sounds silly. Both of you will be better for it.
Post # 3
I am fiercely independent so when my husband leaves for business it’s almost relieving. I don’t have to worry about being home to cook or clean the house. I can find someone to pop in and care for the dogs and take off for a few days to see friends or family. It’s nice to not have anyone relying on me or expecting to see me. Not to say I don’t miss him when he’s gone, but I really appreciate having a couple weeks at a time to just me.
Advice: spend a lot of time around friends, enjoying hobbies; all the fun stuff you like to do on your own. Try to make it as positive an experience as you can.
Post # 4
It is what it is. Focus on quality of life and quality time. Quantity time is great, dont get me wrong, but I’ll take quality over quantity, any day.
Post # 5
My husband is currently deployed and won’t be home for a few more months. Spend time with family and friends if you can, it definitely helps. We don’t have children yet so I think it makes it easier for me since I’m only taking care of myself. If you don’t work, maybe a new hobby or volunteering might keep you busy.
Post # 6
Thank you for the advice! Luckily I’m a talker so it isn’t a rare thing at all for me to send him huge emails. He’ll sometimes joke about it and instead of emails he calls them books, haha.
I totally understand what you mean. I miss him like crazy when he’s gone, but there are some things that are a little easier. I sleep in longer, don’t cook as much, don’t put as much effort into doing my hair all the time, etc. It doesn’t make up for him being gone at all, but it’s something. Thank you!
This is so true, I’ll have to remind myself of this more often. I’d rather have a shorter amount of time with him where we both really appreciate being together than sacrifice quality. Thank you for the advice. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear your husband is deployed! We’ve already talked about not wanting to move anywhere away from family/friends because their support will probably be much needed. Being busy definitely helps too, I’m taking college classes right now and it makes the days go by quicker. Thank you for your input! Hoping for a quick and easy few months until your DH comes home! 🙂