(Closed) Any writers who can help me change the message of this reading…?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You shouldn’t change someone else’s writing. You should find a quote that fits you better.

Post # 3
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

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silentnanny :  It sounds like this reading is not a fit for you.  I say just find a different one.

Post # 4
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I have to agree with PP because the entire point of this piece is the two become one. That doesn’t work for you, so you can find something that suits your belief better.

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

Rather than rewrite (I agree with the above about finding a different piece if that’s what you really want) what about just omit? You’re not truly altering the text that way, it’s a fairly common thing to do with passages of text:

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides […] Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement…”

And then just end with: “Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground.”

Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We had this reading in our ceremony specifically for those two parts. These are the words of someone else so it’s not okay to just change them within the passage. I also think it would entirely change the meaning and agree you should choose something else.

Post # 7
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

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silentnanny :  have you stopped to think about the first sentence (“Love is a temporary madness”)? I find it so inaccurate in so many levels… If it is madness, it is not love. Why would you celebrate LOVE as being TEMPORARY if you’re getting married, hoping for a lifelong relationship? I interpret “temporary madness” as “it is not good for your mental health and it vanishes with time”. That is not my definition of love, definitely not.

I’d look for a different reading…

Post # 9
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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silentnanny :  Sorry, bee. I agree with everyone else. You can’t use someone’s writing but change part of it. Find something else or write your own.

Post # 10
Member
13906 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t like the passage, pick something else.  It’s an insult to the author to change the wording because you don’t like one sentence, but still to present it as an original piece by that author.

Post # 11
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper

We had this reading. We picked it partly as it is advice spoken from an older man in the book so it suited the reader in our case as it was for my Father-In-Law. We changed a couple of lines a little, just for purposes of making it easier to read out loud.  We now have the reading framed along with our fingerprint tree guestbook hanging in our sitting room.  My Father-In-Law isn’t well so it’s a lovely memory to have of him. He did a great job.

If you feel it’s not right for you though because of the meaning of those lines, I agree, you may want to pick another reading. 

 

May I offer another reading for you. We also had this at our ceremony

 

https://allpoetry.com/Sonnet-XVII:-I-do-not-love-you-as-if-you-were-brine-rose,-topaz

Post # 12
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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silentnanny :  Yeah, you cannot just go altering a text written by someone else – that is not a thing. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin is not your friend’s English paper that she asked you to edit before she turns it in – it’s a published book and a very well known one! Altering it in a way that changes the meaning to suit your own needs is disingenuous and would cheapen the whole thing. I suggest you just omit those two parts so you’re only including this:

“Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Or, better yet, find another reading whose message you actually agree with. But changing the text should not be an option.

Post # 14
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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silentnanny :  if you had explained that, you would have received different responses.

It’s not really appropriate to be mad when we couldn’t possibly have known that there was a reason beyond meaning for choosing this. Most people chose their own pieces.

Sorry you feel bad, but I think it would be helpful to give reasons for choosing something that you say you disagree with fundamentally.

I’m not going to rewrite it, as I think just leaving these bits that contradict your faith out is your best bet.

 

Post # 15
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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silentnanny :  “Everyone else is” is not a good reason to do something, and changing an author’s text is not an homage. 

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