Post # 1
I’m 21 in Australia, engaged since march last year and getting married December next year. I find that no matter what, if I’m at a private consultation or even just having a chat at bridal fairs, the vendors i talk to either aren’t listening to me, or just completely blow me off. They always seem to dismiss what I say and never answer my questions and I don’t know if it’s because of my age, or if they’re just those kind of people or if I’m just too timid as a person.
Does anyone else have this problem, or advice for this problem?
Post # 2
I have only had one rude vendor and that was when I went to pay the deposit for the hotel, they assumed and outright asked if I was being a bridesmaid for my mum(who was waiting in the car) and when I said no I’m the bride they outright laughed at me. I didn’t say anything I just paid and walked away as they were just some random receptionist and my experience with the hotel had been fantastic.
If they won’t listen to you just walk away and find someone who will. I think they assume you’re not serious or you don’t have the money, just find someone who else to give your money too 🙂
I find its better to go without parents or you tend to get sidelined in conversations.
Don’t worry about it, people are ignorant 🙂
Happy planning 🙂
Post # 3
In the world of communicating with vendors, who likely encounter some “someday” brides who are just doing research for the future, I think wearing an e-ring (even a placeholder ring if you don’t yet have one), leading with your wedding date, and having specific knowledge of the topic — as well as a firm handle on your budget — will convey a sense of seriousness during your inquiry.
Anyone who fails to show you respect or kindness under those conditions is probably not a vendor with whom you even want to do business. In fact, if a vendor is rude because he or she thinks you’re younger than you are and, therefore, not yet ready to “buy” is probably still not the best choice for a vendor.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2016 - Beach house
I’m not a young bride (I’m 31) and I have had such a hard time getting vendors to engage in conversation with me. I’m not sure if it’s the type of wedding I’m having, or what the issue is, but I dealt with at least 4 caterers who just wouldn’t talk to me.
I ended up with a great caterer and all my other vendors are ones that gleefully engaged in conversation about the wedding. If they didn’t take me seriously in the first conversation, I took them off the list. I’m not going to force someone to pay attention to my event and take my money!
Post # 5
I don’t really consider myself a “young” bride- I’m 25 so probably about average- but we are having a long engagement and when we were first starting to plan, there were many vendors who either wouldn’t respond or acted rude when I told them the wedding was in 2017. I did a lot of research at first trying to set our budget and that involved reaching out to vendors to get estimates. Some straight up told me to come back in a year. Super frustrating.
Post # 6
Absolutely! As a bride I haven’t been to any bridal shows yet, but as a bridesmaid last year I went to a few. Myself, the bride and another bridesmaid were all 24/25 at the time of the shows, some booths would talk to us when we asked questions and some booths almost treated us like little kids. All 3 of us have full-time jobs, myself and the other bridesmaid even own our own houses…we are far from little kids haha.
Now as a bride, I’m having a long engagement as we are renovating our house and we would like to have the bulk of that completed before dishing out money for the wedding. I have been trying to get rough quotes so that we can work out a budget for the wedding. Even when I explain the situation to vendors (and that I understand it would be a *rough* estimate because of inflation, etc) some totally don’t take me seriously. I’m curious to see how I’m treated at my first bridal show! haha
Post # 7
Surprisingly I have not!
For people who want business, it is a little ridiculous that they don’t take young brides seriously. I would move right along and find another vendor. We are paying way too much money for our wedding to deal with stuff like that!
Post # 8
I found every place we went to really went into depth about payment plans, credit options, etc. when we didn’t ever mention needing that information. Most of our vendors seemed visibly surprised when we just wrote a cheque for the full amount which I honestly do not think would have happened if we were an older couple (DH 24 I’m 23).
When we bought our rings (both my e-ring and our wedding bands) the sales associates at both stores seemed pretty disinterested in us. They were letting me try on rings to see what I liked but clearly didn’t think we’d be buying anything and I remember how drastically one womans attitude changed when we decided to make a purchase – it just felt like the whole time they weren’t taking us seriously, which I did not notice happening to some of the “older” people in the store.
Post # 9
So after talking panning stuff with my family, I think the problem might just be a mix of me being young and also me being too timid to actually speak up. Since planning with them my entire wedding has changed from being a May wedding with a cocktail reception to a December Wedding and a sit down dinner. I know I should try to speak up more and say what I feel but I’m not that kind of person, never have been. But my BFF and Maid/Matron of Honor is that kind of person so I know that if I tell her how I would like things and then bring her, she will stop me from getting steam rolled so much. So I’ll see how that goes. There’s obviously still the off chance that people are going to be rude about the fact that I’m young, but by the time I’m married I will be 23, which is the same age as my parents were when they got married, and they’ve been married 30 years.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
I’ve only just seen this post and it looks like you have a great plan of action going forward 🙂
I have also had a few issues with being taken seriously. I’m 24 but I have definitely seen some ‘looks’ from the staff in certain places. It doesn’t help that my mum is paying for the Wedding! I’ve mostly gotten around this by changing the way I dress when I am seeing vendors. I try to dress very smart and I do my makeup impeccibly. It makes me look a little older and helps me be taken seriously.
Post # 11
At 35 I still feel like until you show money or have a planner make first contact you get very little traction. You may not have seen older people not getting attention, but until I show my ring bought at the jewelers I still get no action. Also, since your wedding is still almost 2 years away, a lot of vendors are not that interested and will not even book more than a year out.
Post # 12
I had the same issue, especially since I am having a 2 year engagment. Two words… wedding planner. It is worth the money! She manages everything for me and for me thats a big plus, as I am not a people person. I think its an investment!
Post # 13
I don’t think it’s your age that is giving you trouble. I think it’s your wedding date. 2017 is to far out for many people in the wedding industry. I just turned 22, my wedding is August of 2017 and I have gotten similar reactions. I know it’s frustrating, but vendors that really want and are worth your business should compliment you on being a planner instead of not acting interested at all.
Post # 14
I totally agree. I’m an insane planner, I always have been. I feel like if you want my business, you have to speak to me. I plan early, and if you don’t respond while I’m going through the planning process then my plans aren’t going to have you in them. Not to mention that I’m planning this far in advance because I myself know how busy I am, and I know that if I try and squish it into a smaller time frame I’m just going to get completely overwhelmed.
Post # 15
I’m 23, marrying in June 2017 and only felt like one lady didn’t take me seriously. We didn’t love the venue anyway, but it does suck. I find speaking a little ‘harder’ if that makes any sense, and just being more bold helps. Every vendor I’ve spoken with already has 2017 bookings so I don’t think that is too unusual. I’m the same as you though, far too busy to leave this stuff.