Post # 1
Just out of interest, I’d love to know everyone’s opinion on children at weddings. I am very strongly against children attending our wedding and I make no apology for that. I don’t like children, and I don’t want them attending what is, in my opinion, a very adult event. I am copping some backlash from my future husband’s extended family about them finding this ‘annoying’. If you are a parent and do not want to leave your children to attend a wedding, why not just decline the invitation? I am 100% fine with them not attending, what I am not fine with, is the impending storm that is coming from their outrage about not being able to bring their children to our wedding……. Where did this sense of entitlement come from? Children would not normally be invited to any other formal occasion, so why the sense of outrage when they aren’t asked to a wedding?
These are not children who are in our lives. We have nothing to do with them, and 5/6 we have never even met.
Post # 2
I love children! But not at weddings. Not only am I not having children at my wedding, I don’t really like being a guest at other weddings with children, though obviously I respect that it’s what the bride and groom want.
Opinions differ but it’s your wedding so if you don’t want children there that’s perfectly fine! You don’t have to justify your decision to anyone and your family have no right at all to their outrage.
Post # 3
I just don’t get it! I couldn’t think of anything worse for us, the parents or the other guests than having a cranky tired toddler on their hands at our wedding. It starts at 5pm, is formal and has an unfenced open lake – couldn’t be less child friendly!
Post # 4
You aren’t alone, but I will say take my opinion with a grain of salt as I am anti children at most adult gatherings.
We had no children at our reception, apart from the flower girl and ringbearer (Nephew and Niece) who left after dinner before the celebrations commenced. It was so much more relaxing that way, and most of our friends with children commented that they enjoyed letting loose without their children there. I would have understood and respected had they chosen not to come though, I get it can be hard when you are a parent and your kids aren’t invited.
Post # 5
Your wedding, your call. You cannot control other people’s reactions to it, however. They’re entitled to be annoyed and you’re entitled to keep your wedding. No one is ultimately wrong here, just preference. Plus no love lost on your part so it doesn’t seem like you will lose any sleep over burned bridges or family rifts. Just keep strong, it’s your wedding.
Post # 6
I’m pretty anti children in general, but it annoys me to no end how so many people think that their little darlings should be allowed everywhere, and heaven forbid someone doesn’t like them! My mum got really angry a while ago at a guy letting his grandkids swing on the entrance to the supermarket. Blocking anyone coming in, but it was “cute”. Grr!
Post # 7
I suppose they’re entitled to whatever reaction they choose, but in this case their reaction is totally unreasonable. They are essentially saying their wishes for OP’s wedding are more important than OP and her fiancé’s wishes for their wedding. Anyone who complains someone else doesn’t plan their wedding the way they would prefer is a bit of an idiot on my
Post # 8
Speaking as a guest, I generally hate children at weddings. At more than one of my friends weddings I have not been able to hear the ceremony AT ALL because parents cannot control their children and don’t seem to understand that if they make noise they should be removed from the ceremony venue. This may sound harsh but guess what I enjoy hearing my friends actually get married!
One wedding a gues who I didn’t know allowed her son to smash his toy truck into the floor for the WHOLE ceremony and another wedding a former friend of mine let her daughter talk and shout. Some people thought this was cute, I really did not. I would have been so pissed if this was my wedding. I just don’t get it, why can’t people just get a childminer and enjoy some grown up time?!
Post # 9
I am anti children in the wedding party… its just too much expectation for kids to behave at an appropriate level the entire time and I’ve often seen them manage well until photos are required… at which point they pretend to be shy or refuse to take part…
Post # 10
I’m a parent and I don’t get it. Dance floor + open bar = awesome evening. Dance floor + open bar + my kids = awww so sober that not even the universe-destroying cuteness of my little girls dancing on their dad’s shoes will make up for it. Close, but no.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
We chose not to have kids at our wedding aside from two family kids who had travelled long distance and I lost a friend over it. Her family “came as a package” and she felt I was excluding her kid even though she goes on nights out with just her husband a lot as their parents love to babysit. The no kids thing was the most stressful thing in planning my wedding. One person told my bridesmaid/ best friend that it was unfair she couldn’t bring her son when we had two family kids their but my bridesmaid who has a two year old asked why she would want to!
I was at a wedding last year with four kids on the table, one climbed up and knocked the centrepiece complete with hundreds of glass pebbles all over the table and floor,. There were babies crying and they had a magician and toys outside for the kids. It wasn’t fun.
You’ll get mixed responses on here. I was told I was being unfair and that weddings are family events when I was venting!
Post # 12
If you’re not close to the children then there is no reason they should have to come. It is rude to demand invitations for your children.
I got married at 40, once all my friends and cousins had reproduced. I worked out that if every guest had brought their children I’d have had 46 extra guests! My wedding was 80-90 people, so not really in the budget! everyone understood. I had plenty of comments suggesting guests were glad of a day off from the kids, rather than the reverse. I had a few select special children there which was quite nice but too many just overrun the place, plus if they are not your own siblings’ kids you lose all control over their behaviour. At least with siblings you can lay down the law beforehand!
Post # 13
I have two girls and we always leave them with grandma if we have a wedding to go to. The only wedding they have attended with us is the one where they were the flowers girls (so obviously they had a purpose to being there).
Post # 14
I’m not exactly anti children at weddings but I have witnessed a lot of disruption thanks to crap parenting.
It really infuriates me when parents don’t take their screaming/shouting child out because they don’t want to miss out themselves, or they look on indulgently as little Hugo is a proper little character [translation:twat] running around tables, sneaking up and picking at the cake, and dominating the dancefloor. My pet hate is the “look I’m trying” ineffectual jiggle, this is when (usually) dad is dispatched to the back of the room with screaming infant which he then jiggles so we can all see he is trying to pacify him/her. There is negligible reduction in the bloody noise but he isn’t going to miss out on the speeches so they just make this lame gesture and let us all strain to hear the groom etc. over the screeching.
Post # 15
Haha your response actually made me laugh “translation: twat”
. Completely agree with you!
Well i’m glad i’m not the only one! Thanks for your responses everyone. I’m more than comfortable with my decision and I am not upset by all the complaining from our guests (more slightly irritated), I was just wondering if I was all alone in my view about kids at wedding’s. If the bride and groom choose to make their wedding a family friendly event then that is 100% their decision, I just don’t think anyone deserves to be continually pestered if they choose not to invite children. As many of you have said, they’re usually adult events and children would not normally be welcome at any other adult event!