(Closed) Anybody else fighting a LOT with their fiance?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Aww, I’m sorry. Just don’t give up. This is only the first of your periods of trials and tribulations. Every couple, no matter how good they are for each other, will go through these things. It’s important that you two sit down and talk about this, apologize for being stubborn, and make a commitment to work at it together, one day at a time. It’s important to give in, and you’re going to feel like you’re giving in a lot more than you should. That’s ok, he’s going to feel like he’s doing the same thing. So, just take a time when you sit together and talk about this, or have a date night when you don’t discuss the wedding at all and just spend a good time together. You’re both probably getting very stressed out with this wedding coming up and just reacting from stress. After you calm down a bit, sit down and approach the situation and discuss about why you were both being stubborn. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

@squeak:  Yes!  My Fiance is a total hands-on groom and it’s driving me crazy!  He keeps coming up with all these ideas that would cost crazy bucks and time, and gets mad when I tell him it’s unrealistic! It doesn’t help that a friend gave him a book called Groom-ology teaching how to be an even BETTER hands-on groom!  Hopefully we’ll look back on all this bickering a year from now and laugh!!!!  

 

Post # 6
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, we are bickering more than normal I would say. I read somewhere that it is quite normal in the lead up to the wedding what with the stress of big life changes.  Lots of deep breaths, remember to keep being affectionate, try to do something fun together where you don’t talk about the wedding…

Definitely we have had that argument where I feel like I’ve given in on tons of things and he feels like he’s had no say over anything.  But I want to include him so that it is our wedding.  Doesn’t help that my Maid/Matron of Honor thinks the man should just step out and leave all the decisions to me! She groans everytime I mention that we compromised on something.

Ww will get through it! Hugs.

Post # 8
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

just relax and take a breather!! I hear so many times of people breaking up because of arguments during planning a wedding and always wonder how could you let something like planning a wedding break up what you once had to get to this point!?!? Try to see the bigger picture!!

Post # 10
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

@envirobride:  You are completely right! It’s the same that happens after a baby is born into a family. It’s tough! Plus now you have to work together as a team a lot…

We’re not engaged yet but will be very soon, we’re already discussing some details. It baffles me how traditional he is! He wants everything simple and traditional, while my crazy weddingbee-obsessed self is dreaming of lots of DIY and a very personal wedding. So sometimes I get insecure when I see the look on his face when I tell him about “another one of my ideas”… I know he means well and just wants me to be happy but I really wish we were on the same page with this! And in a way he wants me to have the wedding I want, and believes that the wedding is mostly for the bride, but I want him to be happy too!!! Argh it’s so hard, but we’re all going to get through this, I know it! It just takes a lot of work.

A word of wisdom… about a year ago my SO and I had a period of intense fights… I was having very cold feet (after we discussed engagement for the first time) and was almost ready to leave. He said that he’s going to stay until the end because he believes this is going to work out, and anything that is this important to him is worth the work, no matter how much hard work it takes. It really inspired me, and the day after that I made the same commitment. We’ve been doing great since, dealing with tough moments in beautiful ways. It does take a lot of work… but I still remember that moment when times get rough.

Post # 11
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@WillyNilly:  LOL I’ve wished the same thing of my fiance, who is SO involved….and has driven my nuts more than once during the planning. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you are able to get through the fight and back on track then know that you’ll be fine, and it’s just the heat of the moment. My Fiance and I never fought before wedding planning and I doubt we ever will again after we’re done.

I’m at just under the 5 month mark too, and we made decisions so easily in the beginning and suddenly it’s a struggle to even pick a cake! We set a meeting with our venue coordinator to have a conversation to get an idea of the flow of the day, and I think that will help us get some clarity and get through the next few months easier. That might be an idea to try.

Post # 16
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Historic Cedarwood

YES! We definitely bicker a lot when it comes to the wedding. Mostly because Mr. D is super frugal and I tend to have taste that exceeds our (ever-growing) budget. I think it is important to just try to keep perspective and bickering isn’t so bad as long as you don’t get hurtful.

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